"It is happening to you too"
Special needs parenting isn’t easy and no matter when it happens, be it from birth or later in your childs life like it was for me it is a lot to deal with…
As a special needs parent your childs health is always your top priority, making sure you are doing everything you can to help and support them.
It then moves on to supporting their experience, finding the best ways to give them quality of life and as normal life as possible.
This can include all types of therapy, specialists and finding environments that are supportive for them…
Through all of this, there is most likely one person that has been forgotten…
You are experiencing it all too...
Something I personally experienced when our eldest daughter was diagnosed with Epilepsy was feeling it couldn’t be about me as she was the one experiencing seizures.
Over time I started to see the toll it was taking on me, focusing on her experience only meant my experience as a special needs parent was going unprocessed…
Whilst yes my daughter was the one experiencing the seizures, she wasn’t the only one…
I was experiencing them too, albeit in a different way to her…
I was the one sitting with her through every seizure, watching her and ensuring she was safe physically but also ensuring she knew she was safe and I was right by her side.
The aftermath as a special needs parent was hard for me too...
In the aftermath my daughter has to deal with the physical side of seizures, such as been extremely tired and exhausted and replenishing her body. She also has the mental and emotional recovery once she realises she has had another seizure, it is always a blow for her.
Now for me the aftermath was also hard as a special needs parent, I needed to recover from what I just saw and experienced. It is quite traumatic to watch your child experience that…
I find the aftermath is worse for me than the actual event itself, because I stay extremely strong and on task during the event, like I am her lifeline and it is my job to keep her safe and alive.
But afterwards when I come off guard, that is when I feel it the most. When I let go and allow the emotions to come to the surface, giving them the time and space to be felt and processed.
I have to acknowledge what it is I just experienced…
For so long I didn't allow myself this grace...
I didn’t think it was okay to say “what about me?”. I felt it needed to be all about her, as I wasn’t the one experiencing it or so I thought at the time…
But I was experiencing it, I still experience it now…
This is my life now too as a special needs parent, I am her lifeline.
It took a long time for me to finally agree and accept “yes I am experiencing this too, this is about me too.”
When people would ask how I was, I would say “oh I am fine, it is her that is going through it”, boy was I wrong…
I deserved to be asked about, cared about and checked on too.
This is your journey too...
There is so much to the journey as a special needs parent, this is just one small part, but something I know was so powerful for me and I hope it supports you too.
It is not only okay but imperative that you start to give yourself time and space for what you have and are experiencing.
It is not only about what your child is experiencing but about how you are experiencing what they are experiencing.
This is your permission to acknowledge what it is you are going through, the feelings and emotions that surface and accept you are allowed to take the time and space for YOU.
Journaling is an amazing way to give yourself the time and space you need to process your experience…
Use the following journal prompts…
- I just experienced…
- In my body I am now feeling…
- The emotions that have surfaced are…
- I appreciate myself for…
These journal prompts will help you get started to processing what you experienced in mind and body.
I also have a quick start guide to journaling to support you.
How you can work with me privately:
“I am a Holistic Counsellor and Accredited & Certified Clinical EFT Practitioner based in Pimpama, Gold Coast, Australia.
My approach is to bridge traditional and alternative therapies, my experience has shown me that being a bridge between the two worlds and combining talk therapy with EFT Tapping is very effective.
You don’t have to wait till all the wheels fall off to ask for help, I have noticed with some of my clients that this is where they have to get to before they will reach out.
My role is to provide a safe space for you to express how you are feeling, knowing I will hear you; I will understand you and I will validate how you are feeling.
I help you to find what is causing you to feel the way you do and using EFT to help heal the underlying cause.”
Sessions available in person on the Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia and online worldwide.
