What is a thought?
A thought is made up of words, words you have spoken and words you have heard. Within your mind this then becomes a thought that can either be taken at its ‘word’ or be subject to assessment.
How often are your thoughts subject to assessment? Do you just believe everything you think?
Your thoughts can be very convincing and feel very true, you can even convince yourself of things that once spoken out loud may seem outrageous? This just shows how powerful your thoughts are and how they can betray you.
The thoughts that you think are reliant on the experiences that you have had and your level of self-confidence and self-esteem, look at the two following people and decide which one you can identify with.
Person A is walking down the street and sees a friend walking towards them, the friend is looking straight at them but then ducks into a shop without acknowledging person A.
Person A then thinks about this occurrence and starts to think wow that was rude, she didn’t even stop to say hello. I wonder if I have done something? Maybe I upset her in some way or said something inappropriate? Person A then surmises that the friendship is over, if she can’t even be bothered to talk to me than I am done.
Person B is walking down the street and sees a friend walking towards them, the friend is looking straight at them but then ducks into a shop without acknowledging person B.
Person B then thinks how funny, she was looking straight at me and didn’t even see me. I guess she was busy, I’ll call her later and we can laugh about her not even seeing me.
Person A suffers with low self-esteem and self-confidence and Person B has a healthy level of self-esteem and self-confidence. Can you see how one situation can be interpreted completely differently depending on the experience of the person?
So, which person can you identify with? Person A or Person B?
It can be very helpful to start to have an awareness around how your past experiences can be affecting your current experiences and the affect they may be having on your relationships.
Do you notice a pattern in your relationships and friendships?
Does the same thing tend to happen over and over again and you wonder why? The reasoning is that your sub-conscious is always looking for past times when you have been in a similar situation to help you to know how to react. Is this helpful? Sometimes it can be but sometimes is can feel like a betrayal and you start to wonder what is wrong with you, why am I acting in this way?
So, how do you stop this from happening?
It is important to start to heal past experiences so they stop affecting your current situations and your sub-conscious allows you to respond to only the current situation with no baggage attached.
There are a number of ways to start to heal past hurts and experiences, my number 1 go to modality is EFT/Tapping. It is such a quick and effective modality that will allow you to release the old patterns and behaviour. New to EFT? Learn more here.
Written by Nicole Ivens
Nicole Ivens is an experienced Professional Counsellor, Wellness Coach and EFT Practitioner.
Nicole helps women to reduce fear and anxiety and take back control of their life by kicking fear to the kerb and getting back in the driver’s seat of their life.
Learn more about Nicole www.nicoleivens.com/meetnicole