The good ole adage of "asking for help shows a sign of weakness", where do you sit on this statement?
Let’s hash out this statement and I will give you my perspective and how I feel it fits into today’s modern world.
A common belief states: Asking for help shows a sign of weakness, the inability to do things on your own and always having the need to rely on others shows a sign of weakness.
Really? Let’s look at two people we will call them Mary & Molly.
Mary goes about her day doing everything for herself, she is very self-sufficient and others observe this and are in awe of her self-sufficiency.
So much so that they then start to give her more work to do, more responsibility and their expectation of Mary is quite high.
What happens when Mary starts to fall behind and is struggling with her new work load? How will others now view Mary and her self-sufficiency?
Molly goes about her day asking for help with everything she does, Can you help me with this task? Can you show me how to do this task? Would you mind doing this for me?
Others view Molly as someone who they would like to be like, as she will always ask for help and in turn also has extra time available for other tasks, as she is a pro at delegating.
Two extreme examples, but can you start to see how “asking for help” is actually a very supportive behaviour for both you and those that are ready and willing to support you.
Asking for help can bring up all sorts of feelings for us, depending, on past experiences.
A high level of independence can also be a sign of trauma and I have another article on this topic. “Is Your Independence a Trauma Response?”
This is a time to really take note of what is going on for you, connect in with your body, thoughts and feelings to gain clarity as to why “asking for help” is something you struggle with.
Vulnerability is a big one that many people experience, as we are so used to doing things ourselves the thought of “asking for help” may make you feel open and exposed and losing that wall of protection, that we tend to put up with our strong facade we show the world.