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Author: Nicole Ivens

PTSD

PTSD – It Doesn’t Discriminate!

PTSD – It Doesn’t Discriminate!

PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or now known as PTSS – Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome has always been something associated with the armed forces, that is where you would hear about it the most. In our men and women returning from war, from all the awful things they had to endure, makes sense right?

If we look at what PTSD or PTSS stands for there is no where in there that it says anything about who does or doesn’t suffer from it, not like it is labelled PTSDM – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in the Military.  It is really just a societal belief that those that have gone to war are most likely going to suffer from it due to the experiences they have endured.

But PTSD Does Not Discriminate, it doesn’t care what your job is or even your experience it just comes from a time where your brain has been overwhelmed by an experience and a trauma capsule is formed to protect you.

I learned this of course in my studies and working as a Counsellor and EFT Practitioner who happens to specialise in Trauma, but most recently PTSD snuck up on me personally.

My daughter was diagnosed with Epilepsy in 2015, with her first tonic clonic seizure in December 2014, I remember bringing her home from the hospital and her lying on my lap and thinking to myself it is my responsibility to keep her safe and alive.  For three years I was on high alert never far from her and if she was at school my phone was glued to my hand, I was on call 24-7.

PTSD

 

I remember going to the gym and participating in cycle class and my phone would sit on the bike and between songs I would always stop to check it, to make sure I hadn’t missed a call from school.

During that time I also had to monitor her at night time for any seizure activity on instruction from the doctor, on our first appointment with her neurologist I remember him saying “You are aware she can die in her sleep, right?”  My husband and I were like a deer in the headlights, um no we weren’t aware of that.  So commenced nightly monitoring and no restful sleep for me.

We finally found a great combination of anti-seizure medication for her a couple of years ago and her seizures settled for the most part, still having some but nothing like they were in the beginning.  So I was able to start to stand down a little, not be on such high alert, able to breathe a little easier.

Fast forward to a couple months ago where her neurologist wanted to wean her off one of her medications, slowly we reduced her medication and this week she was completely off the medication and then whammo the seizures returned with a vengeance.

It hit me really hard, so many tears and breakdowns, I was feeling so worried and of course as a mum to a kid with epilepsy that makes sense right?  I could have easily just left it at that, she is having seizures it’s fair enough to be upset and worried.  But as I looked around both at her and my husband, they were not having the same reaction, they were still upbeat, coping reasonably well.

PTSD

So I had to look deeper at my reaction, why was I feeling this way?  Why was I responding differently?  What were these breakdowns really about?

In steps my PTSD, this experience was reminding me of a time where she was experiencing so many seizures, they were out of control.  So not only was I dealing with what was right in front of me in my present reality, I was also burdened with the past experiences.

It was time to heal what I had experienced previously so I could then deal with just what was happening in the present, without the burden of the past events.  Thankfully I knew exactly how to do that, EFT was and is my saviour, providing me with the emotional freedom I needed to continue to be able to cope with her Epilepsy.

I allowed the memories to come through showing me what parts of me, experiences and events I needed to start to heal.  The first one was as I mentioned earlier in this article, the time when we came home from hospital and she was laying on me and I made the promise to always keep her safe.

I tapped on that promise, on that heavy burden I had been carrying to keep her safe and alive.  Bit by bit, memory by memory and layer by layer I healed and released all that was burdening me and causing the decrease of my ability to cope in the present moment.

I am still a work in progress and as every memory surfaces I will heal and release, not forcing anything or having a timeline but knowing I have the perfect tool to help me to heal my PTSD.

If you can take anything away from this article and my personal experience, I want you to know that each of us can only deal with so much at any one time and if life is overwhelming you or you are finding your reactions feel unbalanced it is not because there is anything wrong with you but you have just dealt with too much for too long.


Please reach out to me if this article resonates with you, I would love to support you and help you to start to heal and release and achieve beautiful emotional freedom.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

How to Boost Your Immune System

How to Boost Your Immune System

How To Boost Your Immune System

 

This is a topic and question on everyone’s mind right now on a global scale, how can I boost my immunity?  I know for me when this global pandemic started my first thoughts went to how am I going to keep my girls safe, especially my eldest who is immunocompromised.

We went through all the normal steps that were being recommended by medical experts, social distancing, personal hygiene, hand sanitizer and vitamin supplements.

As an energy healer I was very aware that there was more too it, there were other things that had the capacity to be lowering our immunity.

According to the Centre for Disease Control (CDC) there is and emotional component in 85% of all illnesses.

Stress and anxiety can have a huge impact on your physical health, especially chronic levels and during this time there is unprecedented levels of stress in people on a global scale.

To add to that is not only your own stress and anxiety, but what you as an Empath are feeling from not only those in your physical presence but the overwhelming vibration of our planet right now.

You may look at your own circumstances and feel you know what it’s okay, I am doing fine, yet still experiencing a low grade anxiety.  The issue I have noticed with that is, when it is your own stress and anxiety you can use your coping tools but when its coming from something you know nothing about, now that is challenging.

Just the awareness of the vibration that the planet is operating at right now can be a huge help to you, knowing that you may feel a low grade anxiety that is not yours helps you to cope.

Connecting in with your cosmic team and always asking the question “is this mine?” If not ask them to release it from your auric field.  Due to the high levels of anxiety right now, it is important to add this to your tool box and use it regularly.

Lets look at how stress effects your immune system:

“Since emotions run every system in the body, don’t underestimate their power to treat and heal” – Dr Candace Pert

What we think and what we tell ourselves can either support or undermine our health.  Because the immune system is so sensitive to thoughts, emotions, and subtle energies, energy healing can be an extremely useful tool in supporting wellness, fighting illness and speeding healing.


According to Neuroscientist Dr Joe Dispenza – You can read full article here

How to Boost Your Immune System

“As people begin to overcome emotional states that keep them connected to past experiences—as they break out of redundant habits and automatic programs, as well as change certain self-destructive attitudes and beliefs—aspects of their immune system up-regulate genes. This means that their thoughts and feelings are signaling cells within the body’s internal defense system to turn on healthy genes to make better proteins—otherwise known as healthy anti-bodies—as well as a host of other beneficial chemicals to balance and regulate the body. This process in turn reduces inflammation, suppresses tumors, mobilizes enzymes, and so on.

So the next time you sit down to create a better life, a healthier body, or a new experience, just remember that your brain and body have never been separate and the bridge between them is your immune system. You see, your body has always been spying on your brain. So why not use your nervous system—the greatest pharmacist ever—to activate your body’s internal army to create order for you every day? You don’t even need a prescription.”


Understanding the effect of stress on your physical body is the first step but as we all know stress is a constant in all of our lives.  So the important thing is to learn how to navigate it in your life, finding, understanding and implementing coping tools that help to reduce your stress levels.

EFT has been shown through scientific studies to have a great effect both on lowering stress levels but also the physical effects of stress on the body, including the immune system.  The following physical improvements have been recorded:

  • Lowers your blood pressure
  • Boosts your immune system
  • Reduces inflammation
  • Lowers your level of stress hormones
  • Boosts your metabolism
  • Counters aging
  • Improves your resting heart rate
  • Helps your cells fight cancer
  • Counters insulin resistance
  • Improves your neural signaling
  • Counters autoimmune disease
  • Strengthens your cell membranes
  • Reduces oxidative stress

How to Boost Your Immune System

EFT Tapping has been scientifically proven to rewire the brain to bring both the body and mind back into balance!

“The most revealing studies of the physiological aspects of EFT have examined its epigenetic effects. A population of veterans with PTSD received 10 EFT sessions. It found regulation of 6 genes associated with inflammation and immunity. A pilot study comparing an hour-long EFT session with placebo in 4 nonclinical participants found differential expression in 72 genes. These included genes associated with the suppression of cancer tumors, protection against ultraviolet radiation, regulation of type 2 diabetes insulin resistance, immunity from opportunistic infections, antiviral activity, synaptic connectivity between neurons, synthesis of both red and white blood cells, enhancement of male fertility, building white matter in the brain, metabolic regulation, neural plasticity, reinforcement of cell membranes, and the reduction of oxidative stress. The broad function of this suite of genes is similar to that found in Church et al, confirming the association of EFT with the downregulation of inflammation and stress markers and the upregulation of immune markers.”  You can read the full scientific study here

Whilst seeing the scientific studies is needed and fantastic to see, I have found both my own personal experience and those of my clients is the most powerful. Just a short three years ago I was very unwell physically after many years of chronic stress levels due to my daughters seizures.

Through the use of EFT to navigate my stress levels, I was able to not only cope with what I needed to deal with I was able to heal events, memories and words of my past that were having a large impact on my body.

I went from getting sick all the time, a new cold or infection every week to feeling well and not catching any colds or infections.  I was amazed to see the difference in how I was feeling just by healing emotionally.

“Our emotional wellbeing has a massive effect on our physical wellbeing” – Nicole Ivens


To start to learn how to navigate your stress and anxiety levels and learn the wonderful and effective technique of EFT, you can book your session here.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

Independence a Trauma Response

Is Your Independence a Trauma Response?

Is Your Independence a Trauma Response?

 

Something I have witnessed over the years working with my clients is the “Strong Woman” essence.  A facade that sensitive women in particular wear and present to the world to cover up what they are truly feeling below the surface.

Independence a Trauma Response

Strong women are fiercely independent not needing anyone or anything to help them, they use statements like “I can do it myself”.  It is a bit of a joke in our family here as when my husband would ask if I needed help, I would always say “No I can do it myself”.

I would see needing help as a weakness, like there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t handle it myself.  If I showed weakness that would open me up to feeling vulnerable and then essentially heartbreak.

Thinking about children, asking for help is not something they struggle with, if you are anything like me I have said to my kids “if I hear mum one more time, I’m going to change my name”.  So clearly kids are very good at getting their needs met, so when does that change?

When do we go from getting all our needs met and being okay with it, to seeing independence as strength and receiving help and support as weakness?

Experiencing trauma can cause you to do whatever you need to, to feel safe and sometimes that includes shutting yourself off, building that wall and the only person you rely on is YOU.

Telling yourself that you prefer it this way, it’s just easier to do it yourself because then there is no risk of been let down, disappointed or hurt.

This can come from all those times in your life where you were let down, disappointed and hurt by people you trusted.  It may have been a parent saying they will pick you up and then forgot, a sibling saying they will always have your back and then don’t show up, a friend that takes more than they give.

All these experiences add up to you losing trust in people and learning that the only person you can trust is yourself and in steps independence and your strong woman essence.

Whilst your independence may feel like it is protecting you from the outside world it is wearing away at the trust you also have of yourself.

When someone lets you down and you realise you can’t trust them, what are you equating that says about you?  That maybe you can’t trust yourself to make choices about others and who you can allow into your inner circle.

Losing trust in yourself has a massive affect on every part of your being, internal and external world.  It makes it hard to make even the easiest of decisions like what to eat.

Trust in yourself is imperative to living the life you came here to live at this time, to learn the soul lessons and fulfill both your life and soul purpose.

To start to understand more about your independence and learn whether it is a trauma response, is to ask yourself “what does independence mean to me?” and “why am I so independent?”.

These journaling questions are going to help you to start to know whether there is some healing needed, so you can start to trust in yourself and in others and stop living the lonely life of independence.

“You are worthy of a life that is supported by both fellow earthly souls and of course the universe and your cosmic team”


If you are feeling ready to heal your trauma, I would love to support you as you heal and release those events, moments and words of your past.  Click here to book your session.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

Who Am I? – A Journey to Reclaim Your Self-Worth

Who Are You? – A Journey To Reclaim Your Self-Worth

 

Who are you is something that has been surfacing in private sessions with clients over the last couple of weeks, so I thought it must be an important topic to write about.

So let’s think about that question “who are you?” I am sure you are probably thinking of all the ways you can describe yourself to me, so using myself as an example I would say “I am a mum to two teenage girls, wife, sister, daughter and holistic counsellor”.  But you know what, what does that truly tell you about me, it doesn’t tell you much about my true essence does it?

It just tells you about the labels I have either put on myself or have been put on me by other people, as women that is something that happens to us a lot.  We are given these labels that we then need to live up to, for example I am a mum, so I am constantly doing what I can to live up to that label to be what my kids need, to be a good mum.

Again that is just a label, it doesn’t really tell you anything about my true essence, and the same goes for all the other labels that have been put on me.  Things that have been put on me to help describe who I am to people and that is a societal thing.  We all do it, put labels on ourselves and others so we can put each other in these little files, to know what or who each person is.

Today I was listening to a podcast episode with Dr Wayne Dyer and he said something that really struck a chord with me, and what he said was:

“Your Excitement Is Who You Are” – Dr Wayne Dyer

What he was really talking about was that when we look at ourselves and that comes back to how we describe ourselves, looking at a photo of ourselves or our physical presence, we can say that is who I am.  That person in that photo, yes that is me, or that person I see in the mirror, yes that is me.

But really none of the cells that our physical presence is made up of is older than seven years old, as each of our cells regenerates every seven years.  So he was talking about a photo he was looking at of himself at 21 years old and thought at the time, yes that is me.  He was now in his 50’s when he recorded this talk and was saying no physical cell from that photo was left in his body now at age 50, so he was none of those things anymore.

Dr Wayne Dyer

The person he thought he was at that time no longer exists, so he asked himself the question “who am I truly?”  So when you think about that inner essence, it doesn’t have any of those labels.  That inner essence is something that has been with you always, you can call it all different things, whether it is soul or spirit, it has been there all along and it will continue to be there.

Thinking about when you were a child, you didn’t have the label of being a parent did you? Or being a wife/husband/partner, you didn’t have the label of the job or career you are in.  But that essence that was in you then is still in you now, that is who you are.

It is when we start to look at ourselves, look at who we are and look at our self worth from an external point, from what your body looks like or the job that you do or the things that you have (material possessions).

If you attach yourself to those things that that is who I am, that is when you are going to get yourself in to trouble, because you know what with all of those things they can be taken away in a second.  Your material possessions can be taken away in a second, your job can be taken away in a second, I mean look at us right now during this global pandemic, people have literally lost their jobs in a second.

They are struggling not just financially but in their self-worth in who they are without their job title, if I don’t have a job to go to who am I? If I am not a ……………, then who am I?

Coming back to that statement from Dr Wayne Dyer, “Your Excitement is Who You Are”, when you read that statement, what does it do for you?  Are you getting a feeling within you that says yes that really makes sense, really resonating with you.

When something resonates with you it is like your soul saying “yes that is truth”, as when we come to earth we experience what I like to call a form of amnesia.  As we go through our journey we slowly start to remember, the knowledge and wisdom starts to surface and that is when you will feel those moments of resonation.

So if that is really resonating with you – my excitement is who I truly am – what is that? Think about in your life what gets you truly excited, what gives you that all over body tingles, when you are doing it, or thinking about it, or watching it?  What is that for you?  It is going to be very different for each person.

Dr Wayne Dyer also talked about our purpose, that search to find what it is we are here to achieve in this lifetime, he said that is put into us from the beginning.  Remember that inner essence I was talking about, it holds that music within you to be expressed, the trick is getting out of the way.

I also watched a movie with Dr Wayne Dyer called “The Shift” on YouTube, as you can see below.  In this movie he talked about the nine months from conception to birth, we just let everything go, not trying to control anything.  We don’t try to change anything, so as the baby we aren’t trying to control the colour of our eyes, or the colour of our hair or how we look, we just allow everything to happen, just growing along.

 

Then as we are born we are like okay Creator/God great job but I’ll take it from here, when he said that I was like okay yeah I get that.  We tend to try to control everything and then wonder why things are difficult, if we could just get out of the way.

If we could just allow things to be like we did in that time between conception and birth, imagine how different our life could be, because we would have that strong connection with source like we did when we were growing inside the womb.

You know we are still growing now but we are getting in the way, saying no I have a better way, what would the creator know? But you know what the Creator designed you and look at you, you are amazing, so maybe they know a thing or two.

So it is about really starting to tap into that essence that is within you, what is that essence, how would you describe it?  So if I asked you now, tell me about you, tell me about your essence, what is that essence made up of?

Now I know that may feel like we are still labeling, using labeling to describe your inner essence, but what is important here is the shift from labeling to describing.  I’m not asking you to live up to anything, to a label, but to describe what your inner essence is made up of.

Right now you may not know who that person is and that is okay, that is what our growth is about, that is what our discovery on this journey is about.

So your role is starting to be open to that, saying I am so much more than my body, I am so much more than my job, I am so much more than the physical things I have in my life, the material things I have in my life don’t mean anything.

Like I always say it is about turning inside, everything you need is within you, if you are game enough and have the courage to look. It’s not easy to do that internal work, it is so much easier to focus outside of yourself, to focus on the external.  This is who I am this is my job, this is who I am this is the house that I own, this is who I am this is what my physical body looks like.

Being a mum of course is part of my purpose, but it is not all of me and I have seen this time and time and again and was also reflected in the YouTube movie above.  As women we tend to lose ourselves in that role, we become a mum and then we can lose our true selves within that role.  All our kids know us as their mum, they don’t see past that role, past that label.

I would love you to start to think about that discovery this week, I want to leave you with a journaling question to help you:

I Get Excited When…….

who am I

A pretty simple prompt, write it at the top of the page and just allow it to flow.  Allow that creative side of you to have some air time, because we tend to shut down that side of us because we are in control mode.  If you can come out of control mode, like I said before, get out of the way, you will be amazed at the things that start to happen.

So just step out of the way, there are no rules, just see what flows, allowing it to happen.  You might be surprised at what comes out, it may be something that comes from when you were a child, I know for me when I was first listening to the podcast with Dr Wayne Dyer and he said “Your Excitement Is Who You Are”, the memory I saw was playing teacher as a kid.

Allow that to come and you might think wow that came out of left field, good, pay attention to that, write that down and then see what comes from that.  It isn’t something that has to happen in a certain time frame, just allow yourself to open up to it, and as you open up to it then the universe is going to see that and start to respond.

You will then start to see things coming into your life, signs, opportunities, confirmations and synchronicities.  Be aware and open to that, stepping out of the control mode and just getting yourself out of the way.

Who am I is a big topic and not something that will happen overnight but just being open to learning, to growing and embracing:

I am not my body – I am not my job – I am not what I own

To work with me privately you can book your session here, either online or in-person on the Gold Coast.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

what is energy healing

What is Energy Healing?

What is Energy Healing?

Another great question sent in by one of our loyal listeners of “The Nurtured Empath” Podcast

 

This is a question I do get asked a lot and it is a broad topic as there are so many different types of energy healing that come under the umbrella “Energy Psychology”.

I am going to talk to you about the type of energy healing that I am trained, certified and have experience within and that is EFT-Tapping.

what is energy healing

EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques and also well known as Tapping as we tap on the upper body and face.  It is quite self-explanatory, it is giving you freedom from your emotional disharmony.

As I mentioned it is commonly referred to as tapping because we do a gentle tapping or percussion of the fingertips on the skin.  It is also described as a form of psychological acupressure, if you have ever had acupuncture, it is like that but without the needles.

It is tapping on the specific meridians on the upper body and face whilst you think about a problem you are experiencing.  What we have found with the combination of the tapping and the voicing of what is going on for you is a clearing of the short in the energy circuit, or better described as clearing out the emotional energy block.

Helping your mind and body to restore its balance, which helps you to gain and maintain optimal health.

Everything here on earth is made up of energy including us, so all that is within us is energy, and if you have blocks within your energy field it is going to have an impact on you in mind, body and spirit.

Energy healing and specifically what I do – EFT-Tapping – it really helps to release those blocks, allowing them to find their way out.  Because if you continue to hold these blocks within your system, it is not just going to affect your energetic system it is going to start to affect you on a physical level as well.

What I have learned and noticed through my training, the healing I have done on myself but also my clients is there always seems to be an emotional component to any physical issue or chronic disease.

It has come from something and stress is a very big indicator with that, and what we have found with EFT-Tapping is that it lowers the stress hormone – cortisol.  Tapping really helps you to return to a calm and relaxed state, instead of staying within a stressed and anxious state.

If you think about a time where you have been through a really rough time,  you are in a very heightened stressed state and it can be hard to come back to the beautiful calm and relaxed state due to what you have experienced.

what is energy healing

What I have found with energy healing and EFT is that it is just such a simple thing that you can do, it is essentially right at the end of your fingers, you don’t need to go and grab anything it is right there.  You can just start tapping on the upper body and face and start to release out some of that anxiety and stress, so you are not carrying that around with you for a long period of time.

Energy healing really is a tool to ensure you are not continuing to carry around heavy energy that is only doing you a disservice, mentally, physically and emotionally.

In a previous article and podcast episode I talked about the energetic body vs the emotional body vs the physical body and energy healing and EFT-tapping is really going to help you to support each of those bodies individually and holistically.

Our body is very wise and very good at healing things for us including chronic disease, if we allow it to get into the right environment to be able to do that and heal itself.

The problem with that is, if we are carrying around high levels of stress, high levels of trauma from past experiences in our body then it can’t heal itself.  It just doesn’t have that capacity, because it has all those blocks sitting in its system, so it needs us to help it and that is where energy healing and EFT-tapping comes in.

Now as an energy healer and certified EFT Practitioner I am working in this area each and every day, both on myself and with my clients.  Guiding my clients to release experiences of the past that are holding them back, gently of course.

On top of that EFT-Tapping empowers you to take back your life.  Obviously for the deeper wounds and traumas it is important that you are working with me in private session, as I will guide you and keep you safe.  But for day to day experiences, such as anxiety, stress, overall emotions that you encounter, EFT-tapping will help to keep you in a calm state despite what is going on around and outside of you.

A question I get asked a lot especially from my private clients is always “but what if I don’t know the words”, the good thing is, if you are in that emotion already, you are feeling sad or angry, stressed or anxious.  You are already in it, so you don’t need the words, just start tapping and you will start to notice the emotion dissipate and bring you back to a state of calm.

If you haven’t done tapping before, I have done a short video as an introduction to tapping for you to check out.

 

You can also book in with me for a private session either online worldwide or if you are local to the Gold Coast, Australia I also offer in-home sessions.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

 

 

 

how long does healing take

How Long Does Healing Take?

How Long Does Healing Take?

 

Thank you to one of my listeners of The Nurtured Empath Podcast for sending in this question.

 

A very popular question that I get asked a lot, so I know there are many of you that have wondered about this at one time or another.

First thing I am going to say is “how long is a piece of string”.  What I really want you to take away from this article is it is very different for each person, but also flip that around and instead of putting a time line on how long healing is going to take understand it is a lifetime process.

how long does healing take

Healing is a Life Long Process

If you can take that approach that coming to Earth at this time, or at anytime, is about growth, it’s about lessons and it’s about healing.  If you can have that perspective you are not always going to be looking and asking where is the finish line, how long till I’m fixed, how long till I’m healed?

Honestly you are not someone that needs to be fixed, there may be things in your life that you have experienced that are now causing certain patterns to be appearing but it doesn’t mean that you are broken.  It just means that you are carrying around some heavy stuff and it is weighing you down.

It is about taking that time for yourself to start to heal.  I was talking to one of my clients just the other day, because this is a question I get a lot in client sessions as well.  When am I going to be fixed, when is this going to be over?  I have to break the news to them that this is never going to be over and the look on their face is like I just took away their favourite puppy dog.

But it is the truth, healing is an ongoing process, we are always going to be healing.  Even for me I am continually healing each and every day, I am journaling each and every day, I am tapping each and every day.

how long does healing take

Obviously when we start on our healing journey it is a little bit heavier, a little bit more work to be done because we are bringing up things from the past, traumas from the past that we have been carrying around for so long and that can be some heavy and deep work that we need to be doing.

As we are moving forward we don’t want anything that is happening in the present to then be something we need to heal down the track.  So that is what I mean when I say this is a lifetime process of healing and if you can take this approach, you are never going to get to that place again where you have been carrying around all the heaviness because you would of been doing it all along.

I feel that is important to understand why I say it is a lifelong process, so no I can’t tell you an exact timeline for your healing to be done.  It is very different for different people, some clients come to me and are just ready to heal everything, they are done carrying it around and are just ready to finally let it all go.

That takes time, some have been working with me on a weekly basis for over 12 months, they have experienced heavy traumas and we are working on them one by one, layer by layer.  Some clients just stay with me because they love their weekly session, knowing they have an hour that is just for them, no other demands on their time, this is their time.

It is important for you to determine what is it you are looking for, what is it you are wanting to heal?  As I mentioned I have clients that come to me and want to heal everything and then there are some clients that are like there is just this one event that keeps popping up and I just really want to stop thinking about it, or they want to forgive someone or forgive themselves.

They come for a couple of sessions and we heal that event and then they are on their way, but what I notice with these clients as well is they tend to come back.  They heal that one event and are good for about 6 months to a year and then they will reach out to me again and say I need to book in, I have another event surfacing that I would like to heal.

So it depends on the person and what it is that is happening in their life, where they are at and what it is they really want to achieve.  As how long their healing takes and the time that they are working with me 1-1.

As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, one thing I really want you to take from this is, healing is a lifelong process.  It is not always deep heavy stuff, if you are healing on a regular basis, every day.  You are not going to come 10 years down the track and find you have this heavy load you have been carrying around and needs deep and heavy healing.

Take the approach I am going to heal each and every day, I am going to take care of myself in the ways that I know are going to help me (however that looks for you).  As I mentioned I am journaling, tapping (EFT) and meditating everyday and that helps me to heal anything in the present whilst I’m also healing things from the past as they surface from my subconscious mind.

To answer your question “how long does healing take?”  It is a lifelong process but of course we can chunk that down into little bits, healing different events at different times to really help you to start to feel lighter, to feel more relaxed, to feel calmer and to start to achieve things in your life that you truly desire and deserve.

If you have any questions you would like answered, certainly let me know, you can comment below or send me an email.


To work with me privately and start on your healing journey, you can book your online session here.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

Empaths and Trauma

Have all Empaths Experienced Trauma?

Have All Empaths Experienced Trauma?

“All Empaths Have Suffered Childhood Trauma or Have They?”

In the Empath community there is a lot of talk and even debate about this blanket statement, I have heard many Empath Coaches state that all empaths have suffered childhood trauma and that is why they are empaths.

You only have to look at the comments in these communities to see that that this isn’t necessarily the whole truth.  I know from my own personal experience that it isn’t true for me, I didn’t suffer from major childhood trauma, yet I am an Empath and always have been.

So, what is your view or opinion on this?  Do you feel your gift as an Empath came first or did you experience childhood trauma and that caused you to now have the traits of an Empath?

For me my experience and personal view and guidance on this topic is that I was given this amazing gift as an Empath from God.  I didn’t suffer any major traumatic experiences as a child, but I do feel my gift of being an empath did make me more susceptible to trauma.

I was talking to my brother just the other day about this, I am 1 of 5 children, the middle child, yes middle child syndrome.  I have two younger brothers and two older sisters and as we spoke about our childhood, I noticed how he interpreted certain experiences very different to me.

I started to notice that even though we grew up in the same house with the same parents and had similar experiences, we interpreted them very differently.  It wasn’t like there was anything bad, it could of been something simple like the way in which our dad might look at me and that could be traumatizing to me due to my sensitivity as an empath.

Where as that could happen to my brother and he wouldn’t even notice, it didn’t affect him in any way at all, he would just brush it off.  So as you can see it was not the trauma that caused me to be sensitive, but my sensitivity that caused me to experience certain events, actions, words, energy as a traumatic event.

Let me be very frank here, I am not saying that you may not have experienced trauma, many of my clients have, unspeakable acts of trauma that no person should ever experience.  This is just what I have experienced personally and noticed within the empath community.

Trauma is definitely something I see amongst the majority of my clients and 95% of my clients are Empaths, some have experienced as I mentioned unspeakable acts against them, but there are also those that just like me were traumatised due to their sensitive nature.

Either way there is a way home, back to your true self, to heal and release the hurt, pain and trauma.  You don’t have to keep carrying around that heavy weight, that burden is not yours to carry.


To begin on your healing journey, I am here for you, to be your companion walking along side you as you start to heal and release your trauma.  Book your online appointment here.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

Energetic Body

Which Body is the Most Important? Energetic | Emotional | Physical

Which Body is the Most Important?

Energetic | Emotional | Physical

 

As an energy healer I spend a lot of time working on and talking about my energetic body, sharing ways to keep it clear from the energy of others.  I also focus a lot on both mine and my clients emotional bodies, healing from past experiences, releasing the emotional charge.

I’ll be honest my physical body hasn’t always been given the attention that she needs and deserves and I learned that lesson as my physical body started to break down after many years of chronic stress.

When my daughter started having seizures and was diagnosed with epilepsy, my stress levels went through the roof along with elevated cortisol levels.

Having high cortisol levels for a long period of time wreaks havoc on your physical body, 6 years on I am slowly recovering from adrenal fatigue.

So as you can see my energetic and emotional bodies had plenty of attention but my physical body did not and it showed.

There are three bodies you need to be aware of and give equal attention to:

  1. Energetic Body
  2. Emotional Body
  3. Physical Body

The energetic body can be seen as your spirit, as your aura, the first line of defence.  Your energetic body is the first one to be hit and as you start to know your energetic body so well, you will know when other energy has invaded it.

The emotional body is very closely linked with your energetic body, yet stands on its own as well.  Its about paying attention to and honouring your emotions, allowing them to flow through, to not get stuck, but to move through you.

As kids you may have been taught not to be emotional, hearing things like:

  • You are too sensitive
  • You are too overly emotional
  • We don’t talk about our feelings
  • Don’t air your dirty laundry
  • Don’t be silly
  • You want something to cry about, I’ll give you something to cry about

You know all those statements that were thrust upon us due to our sensitivity.  So it’s no wonder your may have a habit of suppressing your feelings and emotions.

As you continue to do that your emotional body will start to swell and when something starts to swell, it just gets bigger and bigger until it explodes or the tension is released.

I can promise you from personal experience when your emotional body swells, it will explode at the most inopportune time.  Sound familiar?

The physical body is affected by your energetic and emotional bodies, stuck energies and stuck emotions are going to have a negative affect on your body.  You may start to experience tension, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, adrenal fatigue, thyroid issues just to name a few.

The Body Holds The Score!

The traumas you have experienced will always be remembered by your physical body, your mind may forget but your body will always remember.

So even if you say “oh I’m fine, I’m past that, I don’t even really think about it”.  What does your body say about that?  Is it still holding the pain, the trauma and the hurt?  Is it screaming at you asking you to give it some attention?

Below the surface is information and guidance for you that is going to let you know the truth of what is truly going on.

The work I do with my clients is guiding them gently below the surface to find the truth, to find the core of what is truly happening and why.

“Leave the Surface to Find the Core”

Energetic Body

Overall well-being isn’t just about taking care of one part of you, it is taking care of all of you, of all of your bodies.

Which of these are you paying attention to? All three, just one or two or none of them. Together they are responsible for your overall well-being.


Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

I would love to support you to start to heal what you have been carrying around, be that trauma, hurt, pain, anxiety or stress.  Click here to book your appointment.

Boundaries

How to Implement Boundaries without Changing who you are!

How to Implement Boundaries without Changing who you are!


You are not here to save anyone or anything!

This is a topic that I have noticed showing up in private sessions with my clients, a big fear for empaths is “if I put boundaries in place I will lose what I feel is me, my need to help others, how do I do that if I have boundaries?”

When I see these themes occurring I know it’s something that more than just my clients are experiencing, so felt it was an important topic to talk about.  I would love you to consider this for yourself, when you think about putting boundaries in place, what do you feel?  Do you worry about having to change who you truly are by putting boundaries in place?

Many empaths logically know that they need to put boundaries in place but on a deep core/soul level they feel a sense of obligation and even guilt to continue to be an open door to help people.

I get this completely as this was me, I was told so many times, you need to put boundaries in place and I was like nope not doing it.  I too felt that to put boundaries in place I would need to change who I was, I am a caring and kind person, I help people, with boundaries I can’t do that……Sound familiar?

I came to a place where I no longer had a choice, I could not continue to be a door mat, to have a revolving door for people.  They would come in dump everything on me and feel so much better and then walk back out my revolving door, leaving me feeling exhausted, drained and overwhelmed.

Then the next time would come, again walk in, dump, walk out and I wouldn’t hear from them again until the next time and the next time and the next time.

I had to finally put a stop to it realising I could no longer be the door mat, and have the revolving door to these people.  Whilst it was not their fault, I had allowed them to do that, always being there for them, dropping everything every time they needed me.  Putting a stop to it was important, both for me and for them, constantly fixing things for people is not doing them any favours, it was in actual fact dis-empowering them.

boundaries

An important thing to understand is, as empaths and as sensitive souls we have an innate need within us to serve others.  We are here to help people and the thought of putting in boundaries mean I won’t be able to help them anymore and then I won’t get to feel fulfilled because I can’t do the one thing that my soul craves and that is to help and serve.

For a lot of you I know that it can feel selfish and what I learned about that personally was, if I didn’t put boundaries in place I then wouldn’t be available for anybody.  As a mum to two teenage girls, my medical warriors as I like to call them as they have both been through some pretty dire medical emergencies over the years.  They are the ones that deserve my energy more than anybody else.

Being a revolving door or a door mat meant I didn’t have the energy for the people that truly deserved it.  The people that are the most important to me, not only the ones that are there for me, but the ones that continually show up, they prove themselves over and over and over again.  They are the ones that deserved my energy.

Not the people that would come and go only when they either needed me for something or needed something from me, then they would leave and I wouldn’t hear from them again till the next time.

I then learned that I could actually be more powerful and have more influence, one because my energy was higher as I was no longer being a door mat, not been the person that they would come to and I would fix it for them or save them from something.  This was a big lesson I had to learn, I am not here to save anyone or anything.

“You are not here to save anyone or anything”

I am here as a place where people can start to unload but then find the power and healer within them so they can help themselves.  So if you can go from saying I am here to help people, to save people or to fix people to I am here to empower people.  You will have so much more influence on people, the people in your life and people you don’t even know, you are going to have more power in that, more influence in that if you choose to work to empower them.

I’m not going to save them, I am not going to fix it for them, I am not going to do it for them, I am going to empower them to do it for themselves.

They are then going to be able to go on in their life been able to take care of themselves, empower themselves and be more independent.  It was a time of reminding myself by saying “Nicole remember where your power is, remember your power is within empowering them to do it for themselves, in holding the space for them to find all they need within them”.

As empaths and sensitive souls we do that very well, I am sure you have noticed in your life that people, strangers even come up and just unload, telling you their life story and usually without any prompting.  That is because that is your power,  your power to allow people to feel like you are their safe space to finally let go of what they have been carrying around.

The mistake we tend to make and I made it very early on as well, is that we don’t feel like that is enough.  How is just listening enough, I have to do something about this, and that is a human need, feeling we need to fix it and make it better.

But if we can start to understand just how powerful that is, just listening.  If you have ever had an experience where someone just listens to you, not listening to respond but really listening to hear you, focusing wholly on you, not distracted by anything else, you would know just how impactful that is.

That is the gift you give to other people, just listening, focusing on them and them only and that in itself is enough, you are enough.  You don’t have to do anything else, you don’t have to fix anything and you don’t have to have all the answers.

boundaries

I know when I first started in my Counsellor studies that was my biggest fear, that I wouldn’t know the answers, what the right advice to give would be.  The first thing my teacher said to me was “being a Counsellor is never about giving advice, we don’t give advice, we help our clients to find the answers for themselves”, boy was that a huge weight off my shoulders.

It is the same for you, you don’t need to have all the answers, you just need to listen and care and as an Empath my love, you have that in the bag.

Now within that an important point and something I really want you to understand is, the process is:

  1. You listen
  2. Allow them to release what they need to let go of
  3. You also let it go, you do not absorb it, you do not carry it

As empaths we can have a bad habit of feeling that if someone is sharing it with me then that must mean I am supposed to carry it, or I am strong enough to carry it.  No, that is not the reason, the reason is like I said before you are the safe place for them to unload, not to absorb and not to carry.

An analogy for you:  When you are going on a trip and you take your bags to the departure desk at the airport, you don’t give the bag to the customer service officer do you, you put it on the conveyor belt.  The person serving you and getting you booked in, isn’t going to then carry your bags for you, are they?  Of course not they are just the safe place for your bags to go, knowing that they are in the right place and will be boarded onto the plane.

It is the same for you when people unload, it’s not because they want you to carry it, it’s because they just need to stop carrying it themselves.  So you allow them to unload and as I said that is a huge service you are providing right there and then you allow the baggage to be on its way.

Remembering:

  • You are not fixing
  • You are not saving
  • You are not giving advice
  • You are not absorbing

You are allowing that person to feel freer, to feel lighter, to feel heard and to feel understood and that is such a powerful gift you can give to people.

Now to bring all of this back around to the idea of boundaries, you are going to see that implementing boundaries is actually two fold:

  1. We are implementing those boundaries so people don’t feel that they can walk all over us, or they can’t take up all of our time.  They need to start to respect us and respect our time.
  2. It is also a boundary for yourself, you also do not step over that line.  You hold the space for them, but you do not absorb and you do not step over that line into their energy field and try to fix or save them.

I hope you can start to see that if we do it in that way, that we are not changing who we are, we are still the same person you don’t have to be different.  You don’t have to stop being who you are or fulfilling that innate need of wanting to help people.  It is changing what helping people means, changing what serving people means.

It is changing what helping and serving people means.

What you are now doing is just holding that container, that allows people to feel safe in unloading and letting go of what is just too damn heavy to continue carrying around, emptying it into the container, you are closing the lid and then its done.

boundaries

Instead of being completely open and having no boundaries and allowing them to step over that, then feeling they are telling me this, so it must be my job to fix it.  It must be my job to save them, NO it is not!

If you continue to do that, continue to not have any boundaries, continue to be the person that fixes everything for people or having to save people all of the time.  You are actually doing them a dis-service, we are all here to have our lessons, for our soul to grow but if you are continually going out of your way to fix and save people you are removing that opportunity of growth for them.

If you can think about it in that way, that by putting these boundaries in place I am actually helping them, I am empowering them for learning and growth the boundaries will no longer feel like you are doing something wrong or being selfish.

You are not losing your ability to help people, you are helping them in a different way.

You are going to help them to grow and a great example of this is when our kids start to grow, when they are little you are leading them along their path but as they become older, teenagers and young adults its time for us to step off their path and walk along side them.

Another great way to look at boundaries from an empowered place is to look at the role of our guardian angels, if you have been with me for a while you will know that your guardian angel can not step in and help you unless you ask aka boundaries.  So if you start to see yourself as an Earth Angel just walking along side people, guiding and helping them without stepping over yours and their boundaries, you are going to be one powerful earthly being.

Put your boundaries in place, Be their Guide and watch both yours and their lights start to shine like never before.

If you are having trouble putting your boundaries in place and are noticing you are feeling guilty or selfish and left feeling exhausted, drained and overwhelmed. I can help you to heal those emotions and allow you to become that powerful earthly being.  Click here to book your appointment.


Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

words affecting your energy

How Your Words Are Affecting Your Energy

How Your Words Are Affecting Your Energy


“With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility” – Spiderman

A quote that came to me when I started to think about the power of the word, clearly being married to a sci-fi geek for the past 20 years is finally rubbing off on me.

Words are so extremely powerful and with that does come a lot of responsibility, as the words you use determine your reality.

Whether it is the words you use when you are talking to yourself, the words you use to describe yourself or the words you use when you are communicating with others.

The words you use when talking to yourself are the most powerful, as you are the person that one you spend the most time with and two listen to the most.

The words you use to describe yourself also have such a big impact on you, if you think about the way in which you describe yourself you can either empower or dis-empower yourself.

This is where you can start to see the affect that your words have on your energy, when you are feeling empowered and confident your energy levels are high.  But when you are feeling dis-empowered due to the words you are using, your energy is going to be low.

I always remember been told as a young mum of two girls that I am their biggest influence as the same sex parent, the way in which I describe myself to them can have a huge affect on how they then see themselves.

For example, say I say something like “I look fat today”, they can then internalise that and think if mum thinks she is fat, maybe I am too.

This really leads into the power of the word when you are also communicating with others, you have an affect on those around you, even if you are not aware of it.  I know for me my kids don’t seem to be listening for the most part, teenage girls for you.  But there will be times where I hear my words coming out of their mouth, so clearly they are listening.

I feel this is very well demonstrated in our current issues in schools around bullying, for the most part for our kids, it is the words that are being said as opposed to physical bullying.  All you have to do is look at the rate of teen/kid suicide from being bullied at school and online, again the power of the word.

The old saying goes:

“Sticks and Stones may break my Bones but Words will never Hurt me”

Boy is that all kinds of wrong, the emotional trauma that comes from the words used against you, words used to describe you and words used to hurt you is so so damaging.

Emotional wounds take so long to heal and unfortunately are not given enough attention in today’s world, if you are emotional you are seen as weak, if you are sensitive, you are seen as weak.

We need to start to give our words more attention, to really understand their power, their influence and their affect not just on us but on those that we interact with.

A great way to start to connect in more with your words is to allow them to move through the following pathways:

words affecting your energy

Making this a habit is going to help you so much to spend more time feeling empowered and influential, using your words for good.  Knowing you have the power to decide how it is you want to feel and how it is you want to make others feel when they are in your presence.  Because not only will the use of your words make a difference, your energy level will be different and those around you will feel it.


It is my honour to hold a safe space for you as you discover, heal and release your past and move towards a place of happiness, peace and serenity.

Together we will:

Unlock the Healer Within, Heal Past Traumas, Understand your Gift and Strengths as an Empath, Heighten your Self-Worth and Self-Confidence, Uncover the Culprit behind your Patterns, Uncover and Release Limiting Beliefs, and Create space for your dreams to manifest

Click here to book your appointment

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor