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connect to your intuition

4 ways to connect to your intuition

Connect to your Intuition

 

Intuition is a natural skill we all have access to, just like a muscle it needs training and regular maintenance.

Similar to how we train our physical muscles there are different ways to get to your end result.

in this article I am going to share with you 4 ways to connect to your intuition.

  1. Clairvoyance
  2. Clairaudience
  3. Clairsentience
  4. Claircognizance

First let’s understand what the term ‘Clair’ means, clair is French word for clear.

Clairvoyance = Clear Seeing

Clairaudience = Clear Hearing

Clairsentience = Clear Feeling

Claircognizance = Clear Knowing

Now each person will have one or two senses that are stronger, ones that you naturally tune into.

Which one are you drawn to?

My two strengths are claircognizance and clairsentience.

No matter which one you feel is your strength you can power them all up with regular practice and exercises.

In my online DIY course ‘Awaken Your Intuitive Senses’ I teach you about each sense and exercises to strengthen and power up all four senses.

connect to your intuition

 

I would love to hear which clair you feel is your strength, comment below.


Nicole Ivens | Holistic Counsellor

Did you know you can work with me privately in a secure online setting?  To book your session click here or to learn more about me click here

How I Learned That I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

I had a question recently on Instagram about my journey to uncovering that I was a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and as it is quite in-depth I felt writing an article was in need.

As a Kid – I didn’t know

As a Teenager – I didn’t know

As an Adult in my 20’s and 30’s – I didn’t know

HSP

What I did know through all of these transition periods of my life was that I was overly emotional, too sensitive and suffered with severe anxiety.  I guess you could say all of these things should of led me to know that I was a “HSP”, but you know what it didn’t, all it did was made me feel different, unworthy, unlikeable and a difficult daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend.

I worked as hard as I could throughout my life to mask and to hide my true feelings, my true emotions and my true self, because life had taught me that person was a problem, that person was not good enough and frankly that person was kind of annoying.

It really wasn’t until I started to experience physical ailments that I had to start to take a hard look at my life and how I was living it and what I was accepting.  At the time I was working in a demanding job where I needed to be available 24/7 and when I went to see my doctor I remember him clearly saying you can’t do this anymore, your body can not handle it.  He even shared his own personal experience with me when he was an on-call doctor in a busy emergency department and he too had to quit and move on.

HSP

My hair was falling out (I have thin hair anyway, so not helpful), I was experiencing migraines that were affecting my vision, my energy levels were depleted, I was exhausted all of the time.  After having all the medical tests nothing showed up to explain my physical ailments and it was at that time that I truly started to understand the cost of not living for myself, but for other people.

I had been living for others my whole life, doing exactly what they wanted me to do, even at my own detriment.  As a kid I was always the good girl, doing whatever I could to please my parents and teachers alike.  Trying to get my siblings to like me, to want to play with me, doing things for them and the same in friendships.

As I write about this now it makes so much sense as to why my body was like okay enough is enough, we are not doing this anymore, we can’t take anymore, we are done.  I have noticed this with my private clients as well, our bodies know exactly what they need to do, to either stop us in our tracks or get us to finally pay attention.

This all started for me 2012, I left my job and I felt quite lost, I didn’t know what to do, I still needed to work but what was next for me.  At the time I had no idea it was the start of my spiritual awakening and I know now that if my body hadn’t given me signals I couldn’t ignore, I would probably still be living my life for others.

The first thing I did was I enrolled in a course I had been wanting to do for quite some time and that was “Angel Card Reading with Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentine”, I had always loved angels and now I had the time to learn more about how I could connect with them.

I definitely got a lot more than I bargained for, on the surface it was learning about using angel oracle cards, which was so much fun.  Even deeper than that it was a journey of learning to trust myself, and for someone who had been a people pleaser for so long, starting to trust myself, who by the way I didn’t even know at that point was a big task.

So I began starting to peel back the layers to start to understand who I was, why I felt the way that I did, why I seemed different to everyone else in my life.  That is when I came across the concept of HSP and Empath and it was like a light bulb moment, one that explained so much of my life experience.  Other HSP’s had also been told their whole life “they were too sensitive or too overly emotional or cried too much”, yes I always cried at the drop of a hat and I still do.

If you are wondering whether you too are a HSP or Empath, I have another article that lists 27 traits that can help you to see if it fits for you too.

As I started to learn more about a “HSP” I could finally start to understand myself at such a deep level and even more than that, I could stop explaining away my sensitive nature.  There was no more “I am sorry I am too emotional” or “I am sorry I am crying again”, it shifted into my emotions are my guide and my tears are cleansing.

I can now say with no shame at all, “Yes I am emotional, Yes I am sensitive, Yes I cry – It is an amazing Super Power!”

I hope this article gives you some insight into my journey of finding out that I was a HSP, I would love to hear about your journey – comment below.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

I love my work supporting women and female adolescents in accepting and understanding their true self, if my story resonates with you and you would like to start to embrace your sensitive nature, then I am your girl!  You can book your online appointment here.

Balanced Friendships

Balanced Friendships as an Empath

Do you know what balanced friendships look like?

 

As empaths we are naturally caring and giving, always wanting the best for those around us and of course we can feel when that is not the case.  We tend to leap into action doing what we can to help and support that person to feel better, because as they feel better we feel better too.

What happens in the aftermath is a clear indication of the health and balance of the friendship, once they are feeling back to their old self and the issue is solved, what actions do they then take?

In balanced friendships there will be gratitude for the support you have provided, there will be no silence or ghosting, there will be no lack of contact until the next time you are needed.  Most importantly when you are in need of support, they will be right there holding you up in your time of need.

Balanced Friendships

 

Unfortunately empaths and highly sensitive souls have a tendency to be used in relationships and friendships because they give their everything and don’t always have that favour returned.  I know I have experienced this in my life time and time again, I would be the go to person when life got messy, I would drop everything and be there to support them through.  The storm would pass and I would be dropped like a hot potato and not hear from them again until the next storm.

I would always ask myself “why does this keep happening, I am a good person, do I not deserve to have contact with them outside of their storm?”  Of course when I started to unpack it, I could see it as a pattern within me that needed healing, my walls were down there were no boundaries to be seen, it was like open season.

As a recovering people pleaser I would always do whatever I could do to please others and of course that meant doing so much more for them and being there at the drop of a hat with no consideration for my own needs.  All that did was allow them to then also have no consideration for my needs, why would they, I sure didn’t.

I’ll be honest with you until very recently I didn’t even know what a balanced friendship looked like or felt like, thankfully I do now and do you know why I now know that and feel that?  I healed the part inside of me, my inner child who had been hurt so many times by people she thought were friends, that I finally felt deserving of a balanced friendship of someone that cares for and believes in me wholeheartedly.

I will take a shot in the dark and say this is probably your experience too, you may have been hurt by people in the past and now its hard to trust, hard to believe that having people in your corner is even a possibility.

“I am here to tell you right now, you are deserving, you are worthy and your soul-friends are just waiting for you.”

Balanced Friendships

 

The path to your soul-friends is to be open, to be very open to the people you are surrounding yourself with right now.  Disclaimer: It doesn’t mean they are bad, they are not, from your unhealed place you have welcomed in behaviour that is no longer acceptable to you.

Just because you have been friends since school or maybe it’s “but they are my family” or “its just the way they are” or “its just always been this way”.  These are all beliefs that have most likely been placed on you and they are beliefs that are keeping you from being your true self, because that true self is exhausted under the weight of carrying the burdens of others.

Wouldn’t you just love to let all that go?  Start to feel free and know that balanced and soulful connections are possible for you too.

You don’t have to be a doormat, you don’t have to be a sponge.  What if the way in which you have been allowing others to treat you is in fact not only stunting your spiritual growth but theirs as well.  As empaths we are all about helping, so what if just for a moment you could entertain the idea that there is another way to help those around you.

It is not our job to carry the burdens for others but help, teach and support them to carry it for themselves.  Now I know we have a tendency to fix, it’s a natural human desire to take pain way from our loved ones, but in pain lies growth.  I see this so much in the work that I do with my private clients, pain moves them to action so much quicker than pleasure ever does.

If you do everything in your power to take away their pain, you are interfering in their growth process, in the growth of their soul.  I envision our souls sometimes acting like Homer Simpson saying “DOH” we were so close.

So let’s look at this in the concept of balanced friendships, so of course you are going to want to be there for your friends in their times of need, it is your natural state of being but the question is “is it theirs?”.

There may be a number of reasons as to why it is not theirs, seeing the pain in others isn’t easy, being able to hold space for another in their time of need isn’t easy as I am sure you know all too well.  But for empaths we do this naturally, it is our natural state of being, but it isn’t for everyone.

The question you want to ask yourself is “if my friend is unable to hold space for me when I need it, am I okay with continuing to do it for them?”

You might be and that is 100% okay, if you are not if you have had enough, then it is time for change.  Like I said earlier in the article, it doesn’t make them bad or you bad, it is just your expectations have changed and you now require more from your friendships and that is also 100% okay.

Now of course in any friendship there are going to be up and down times, back and forth, times where you need more support and times where they need more support.  Even periods where it may feel that either you or your friend is needing more and that is okay, the important focus is if the tables were turned would it look similar?

I hope this article helps you to start to assess your friendships and gain an understanding as to whether they are balanced and above all know that you are worthy and deserving of balanced friendships with others where you feel supported and held.

I would love to hear your experience within your friendships, comment below you never know who needs to hear it.


I work with empaths and highly sensitive souls providing support, guidance and healing.  To book your online or in-person session click here.


Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

Brain fog

How to Deal with Brain Fog as an Empath

Does it feel sometimes like your brain is sitting behind a veil?

Brain fog is real thing that many empaths suffer from, it can feel like confusion and the inability to focus.  It has also been described as a feeling of just not being here, or off with the fairies is another term that has been used to describe the feeling.

In a world where we are continuously being told to practice mindfulness and meditation, not being able to just be present in the current moment and have the ability to concentrate can be extremely frustrating.

There are three parts of us that are contributing to this ‘brain fog’, mind, heart and body.  When all three of these are working in unison, you will feel grounded, balanced and wholly here in the present moment.

What reasons could there be as to why they are not working in unison?

Each part of you has its own job and sometimes those jobs can be in conflict with each other, for example the mind has its own idea of what needs to happen but that may differ from the yearning of the heart.

The body is a place of wisdom and holds the truth and the trauma of the sum of your experiences.

So if you are connecting with just one of those areas you will start to experience an imbalance and as the other areas work to be heard it can feel overwhelming and you may feel a sense of confusion.

Most people consistently operate from their mind, leaving out the wisdom of the body and the connectedness of the heart.  This will cause your body and your heart to become louder and louder, trying different things to attain your attention.

Can you imagine three parts of you, all using different signals to grab your attention at the same time?

It is no wonder that you are experiencing brain fog, confusion and an inability to focus in the present moment.  It reminds me as a mum when all the kids are vying for my attention at the same time, can anyone say ‘save me’?

So of course we want to bring these parts of you back into unison, but first we need to look at this from the unique perspective of being an empath.

As an empath you are very connected to the energy around you but also to higher planes of consciousness as well, and this can cause you to have an out of body experience.  This in and of itself can cause your brain to feel like it has been left behind and is essentially sitting behind a veil.

You are a spiritual being having an earthly experience and let’s get real, it is not an easy experience, earth isn’t exactly an easy place to inhabit as a sensitive being.  So you may be doing what you can to escape that uncomfortableness at every chance you get, elevating to the higher planes where you feel beautiful energy that aligns with yours perfectly.

Whilst this is an amazing gift that we have, to be able to elevate our energy to these beautiful higher realms, we did choose to come to earth at this time and we do have a job to do, lessons to learn for our soul.

So we do need to learn how to exist on this plane, on earth whether it is easy or not.  I can promise you the more time your consciousness spends on this plane, earth and implementing the strategies I am going to share with you, it will become easier and you will notice your brain fog, confusion and ability to focus improve.

5 Ways to Ground Your Energy to Earth

  1. It is time to renew your oath that you made before coming to earth.  “I {insert your name} pledge to come to planet earth, to learn my soul lessons, to support my soul mate family and raise the vibration of the planet”
  2. Daily practice to bring the consciousness of higher realms to you, instead of you feeling the need to shift your consciousness to the higher realms.  Connect with nature, barefoot on the earth is a wonderful way to ground your energy to mother earth, to connect with her, to bring the support and guidance from the higher realms that you need.
  3. Golden Shower.  As empaths we tend to pick up and absorb the energies around us from both environments and people, so it is imperative that you are cleansing that energy from your aura and physical body.  The golden shower is a wonderful way to do just that, standing under the water, envision the water falling is a golden waterfall and it is cleansing all of the energy you have picked up throughout the day.
  4. Angel Mist.  An aura spray is a wonderful product to carry with you, so anytime you feel a disconnection or you have picked up energy from others, this amazing spray will cleanse you in the moment.  Giving you the opportunity to feel present and the ability to focus in the moment.  Click here to purchase your own Angel Mist Spray.
  5. Meditation.  Sitting quietly and just envisioning the white light coming in through your crown chakra, bringing in the light codes and guidance from the higher realms, allowing you to still receive exactly what you need without having to feel ungrounded, confused, lost and unable to focus in the moment.

 

 

Now of course it is wonderful to visit the higher realms and our ability to do that is such a gift and I am not saying you shouldn’t be doing that, what I am suggesting is that if it is starting to affect your day to day life, then it may be important to look at the reason why you are spending more time in the higher realms.

 

I would love to hear how this article has resonated with you and your experience as an empath.  Comment below, you never know who your experience may help.


I specialise in supporting Empaths and Highly Sensitive Souls, if you are finding it hard to cope with your sensitivity, I would love to help you.  Helping you to embrace the super power that is your sensitivity and knowing it is your gift and how you can use it to support yourself.  Book your session here.


Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

 

 

How to Start Your Day

The Power of Morning Rituals

The first 20 minutes of your day are the most potent and have the biggest effect on what you experience in the hours ahead of you.

This gives you an amazing opportunity to hop in the drivers seat and decide how it is you would like your day to be.

Morning rituals are a wonderful way to get you started on setting up your morning in the best way possible to support you towards feeling and experiencing what it is you want for your day.

I just want you to think about when you wake up in the morning, do you really think about it that much or are you just on auto pilot.

Just waking up getting done what you need to get done and getting out of the house.  Or have you been able to be more mindful and really starting to notice how your morning can affect the rest of your day.

I have really noticed in my own life when I set up my morning in a certain way, it can really make a difference in my day but that can go in either direction.

If you have the habit when first waking up in the morning of grabbing your phone, ipad or laptop and whether that is going through emails or going straight on social media, you are deciding in that moment how you are going to set up your day.

When you start the day in that way sometimes it can have a really negative effect on you, because you are starting out your day externally, really looking at what is happening in the world outside of you.

This is all before your feet have even touched the ground, before you have even had a chance to connect with the energy of mother earth.  Instead of spending that sacred time turning inside, seeing what is going on for you.

To help you start to get into the habit of starting to implement a morning ritual, to set your day up in a good way and reduce the effect the external world may be having on you, I am going to share with you some different morning rituals.

Morning Rituals Morning RitualsMorning Rituals Morning Rituals

Each morning ritual is very powerful on its own, so don’t worry you don’t need to do all of them.  I would urge you to give each of them a try and really feel into which one is feeling the most supportive for you.

Personally I use all of them at different times, intuitively feeling into which one I need, depending on what is going on for me at the time.  I would also recommend you start to take note of how your day starts to flow by starting your day in these ways, instead of focusing on the external world first.

What you may start to notice is that things flow a little easier because the universe is always responding to us, so if you can imagine for a moment the vibration you are emitting when you are in a hurried state, a stressed state or an anxious state.

This is what the universe is reflecting back to you, so for example, if you are feeling hurried then the universe will provide more things to make you feel hurried.

Whereas if you are able to start your day in a more calm, relaxed, aligned state then the universe has no choice but to still respond to you, reflect back to you what it is you are emitting, so you will experience more things that allow you to feel more calm, relaxed and aligned.

I know it is not easy to always find the time in the morning, but I can guarantee you, if like me you were jumping on social media, that will save you tons of time.  I was amazed at how much more time I had in the morning for my morning rituals.  Of course I am only human so I fall back sometimes into that old habit, but it quickly reminds me when I am noticing a negative shift in my mood and as such my day.

Give these morning rituals a go, reminding yourself that you are worth it and social media and emails will wait, they will still be there waiting for you once you are ready to face the external world.

I would love to hear how these feel for you, comment below and let me know and share any rituals that you find are helpful.


I offer private holistic counselling sessions online and in-person at my Gold Coast Clinic.  To book your session, click here.


Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

 

Honour Your Sensitivity

Have you ever been told “you are just too sensitive”?

 

Yes, me too.  I have been told this a number of times, usually by those closest to me.  This for a very long time caused me to feel really bad about myself and like there was something very wrong.

On my journey of getting to know the true me, I have learned that actually my sensitivity is my strength.  I was given this gift for a reason and it is my responsibility and purpose to share it with the world.

 

What is Sensitivity?

Sensitivity is feeling everything at a very deep level, it is not something you have a choice in and at times you may have no idea why you are even feeling emotional.  Another way to describe sensitivity is caring about others very deeply,  have you found yourself crying or feeling really emotional and attached to people on TV?

Yes, me too.  I have got to the point now where I don’t watch the news because it is just too overwhelming and overloads my system.  Sound familiar?

So, you know that you are a sensitive soul, what now?  It is extremely important that you protect yourself, as a sensitive soul you will pick up on other people’s feelings even if they themselves are not aware of them.

I am going to share some simple exercises with you to protect your energy and minimise your system being overloaded.

  1. Surround yourself in white light
    Imagine you are inside of a white bubble, that covers you all the way from your head right down to your feet, ensuring it goes underneath your feet as well.  As you imagine this bubble it is important to ensure you have the intention of deflecting negative emotions whilst still allowing in guidance and abundance.
  2. Body Scan
    Before going out anywhere, do a body scan.  This involves closing your eyes and just scanning your body, noticing any tightness or aches and pains.  What this does is helps you to distinguish between your own body feels and those that are coming from another person.  If you notice body feels that are not yours, you can simply ask your angels to remove this from you as it doesn’t belong to you, it is not yours to carry.
  3. Boundaries
    As a sensitive soul it is paramount that you have boundaries and adhere to them with each and every person you interact with, I don’t care if they are a stranger or your family and closest friends.  To be honest with you it is the ones closest to us that are the biggest offenders of stepping over the line.   Lay out your boundaries and they are non-negotiable, as you treat yourself in a caring and loving way, so will others.

Your Sensitivity is your Strength

Now you have a good understanding of what sensitivity is and how to recognise it within yourself and how to protect this vulnerability.  Now it is time to understand that this is a gift, being sensitive is not a negative trait, if only there were more sensitive souls the world would be a very different place.

Caring deeply for others is not a bad thing as long as you protect yourself.  Staying grounded and recognising what you are picking up on, will make a huge difference in how you view your sensitivity.  There are always going to be people that will step over your boundaries and try to take advantage of this sensitivity and this is where your protection needs to kick in big time.

Using these techniques is going to ensure that your sensitivity is a strength and something you can use to your advantage in being able to help others and serve the world as a light worker.   There is already too much darkness in our world, your light is needed.

A fun way to deal with the negative nellies who say “You are just too sensitive”

I have had a lot of these in my life, so I know exactly how you are feeling when experiencing this statement.  I love to say “really wow thank you so much, what a beautiful compliment.”   It will put them on the back foot real quick and chances of them saying it again is very minimal.

I no longer want you to feel bad about yourself or feel like your sensitivity is a negative trait.  You are a beautiful strong sensitive soul that is needed in the world – Shine Your Light Baby!


 

Are you finding it hard to set your boundaries and deal with being a sensitive soul?

I offer individual online sessions that are individualised to your needs, supporting you to restore your peace of mind.

Book Now


 

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

 

 

Friendships

How To Help Nurture Your Child’s Friendships

How many times have you heard from your child “We are not friends anymore”?

I know for me I have heard that more times than I can count from my two girls and there has been times where I have just said “don’t worry I am sure you will be friends again tomorrow”, majority of the time this works out to be the case but sometimes it can be the start of something bigger.

I am going to start with asking you a question that might be a little difficult, “What happens within you when your child tells you about their friend problems?”  This is a tell tale sign of actually what needs to be dealt with first.  For example if you get a gut wrenching feeling or feel pain in your heart, this is your subconscious reminding you of a similar time when you were younger having trouble with your friends.

I know for me prior to working on my own issues from childhood with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) I would be triggered every time one of my girls had problems with their friends at school.  If they cried, I would cry, if they were anxious, I would be anxious, but clearly that wasn’t any help to them and what they were experiencing.

Working on yourself first can have a profound affect on your child as well, also putting you in a better space to support them through what they are currently experiencing.  Seeing yourself as Switzerland, a place of neutrality is a great place to operate from when it comes to helping your child.  Neutrality gives you great insight and the space to be objective in any situation that presents itself, both in your own personal experience and experiences with your children that present themselves.

As parents it can be our first reaction to jump to conclusions that may be flawed due to the lack of information we are been provided with, obviously we want to believe everything our child is telling us and that their version of events is the complete truth.  A good thing to remember is each person has their version of events and the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

A process that I find works very well is to sit with your child and ask them to share with you exactly what happened, who said what and then help them to think about why their friend may have said different things and how they may have contributed to the situation.  I find helping your child to gain an understanding and awareness around another persons behaviour is a big step forward in them healing from the experience.

Another great way I find to help my girls is using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or Tapping to process what they are feeling and release the experience from their energy field, unprocessed feelings and experiences can go on to cause other problems further on in your child’s life.   Check out Episode 1 of Empowering Kids TV to learn more about how you can use EFT with your child.

Supporting your child from home can make all the difference in the interactions they have with their friends and the confidence they portray in themselves and their social interaction skills.  As a Professional Family Counsellor I work with Families to help them to empower, educate and encourage each child to be their true authentic self, building each child’s confidence and social skills is just a small part of that.

If you are noticing your child is struggling with their social skills or friendship issues, reach out and I can support both you and your child to more fruitful friendships.