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Boundaries

How to Implement Boundaries without Changing who you are!

How to Implement Boundaries without Changing who you are!


You are not here to save anyone or anything!

This is a topic that I have noticed showing up in private sessions with my clients, a big fear for empaths is “if I put boundaries in place I will lose what I feel is me, my need to help others, how do I do that if I have boundaries?”

When I see these themes occurring I know it’s something that more than just my clients are experiencing, so felt it was an important topic to talk about.  I would love you to consider this for yourself, when you think about putting boundaries in place, what do you feel?  Do you worry about having to change who you truly are by putting boundaries in place?

Many empaths logically know that they need to put boundaries in place but on a deep core/soul level they feel a sense of obligation and even guilt to continue to be an open door to help people.

I get this completely as this was me, I was told so many times, you need to put boundaries in place and I was like nope not doing it.  I too felt that to put boundaries in place I would need to change who I was, I am a caring and kind person, I help people, with boundaries I can’t do that……Sound familiar?

I came to a place where I no longer had a choice, I could not continue to be a door mat, to have a revolving door for people.  They would come in dump everything on me and feel so much better and then walk back out my revolving door, leaving me feeling exhausted, drained and overwhelmed.

Then the next time would come, again walk in, dump, walk out and I wouldn’t hear from them again until the next time and the next time and the next time.

I had to finally put a stop to it realising I could no longer be the door mat, and have the revolving door to these people.  Whilst it was not their fault, I had allowed them to do that, always being there for them, dropping everything every time they needed me.  Putting a stop to it was important, both for me and for them, constantly fixing things for people is not doing them any favours, it was in actual fact dis-empowering them.

boundaries

An important thing to understand is, as empaths and as sensitive souls we have an innate need within us to serve others.  We are here to help people and the thought of putting in boundaries mean I won’t be able to help them anymore and then I won’t get to feel fulfilled because I can’t do the one thing that my soul craves and that is to help and serve.

For a lot of you I know that it can feel selfish and what I learned about that personally was, if I didn’t put boundaries in place I then wouldn’t be available for anybody.  As a mum to two teenage girls, my medical warriors as I like to call them as they have both been through some pretty dire medical emergencies over the years.  They are the ones that deserve my energy more than anybody else.

Being a revolving door or a door mat meant I didn’t have the energy for the people that truly deserved it.  The people that are the most important to me, not only the ones that are there for me, but the ones that continually show up, they prove themselves over and over and over again.  They are the ones that deserved my energy.

Not the people that would come and go only when they either needed me for something or needed something from me, then they would leave and I wouldn’t hear from them again till the next time.

I then learned that I could actually be more powerful and have more influence, one because my energy was higher as I was no longer being a door mat, not been the person that they would come to and I would fix it for them or save them from something.  This was a big lesson I had to learn, I am not here to save anyone or anything.

“You are not here to save anyone or anything”

I am here as a place where people can start to unload but then find the power and healer within them so they can help themselves.  So if you can go from saying I am here to help people, to save people or to fix people to I am here to empower people.  You will have so much more influence on people, the people in your life and people you don’t even know, you are going to have more power in that, more influence in that if you choose to work to empower them.

I’m not going to save them, I am not going to fix it for them, I am not going to do it for them, I am going to empower them to do it for themselves.

They are then going to be able to go on in their life been able to take care of themselves, empower themselves and be more independent.  It was a time of reminding myself by saying “Nicole remember where your power is, remember your power is within empowering them to do it for themselves, in holding the space for them to find all they need within them”.

As empaths and sensitive souls we do that very well, I am sure you have noticed in your life that people, strangers even come up and just unload, telling you their life story and usually without any prompting.  That is because that is your power,  your power to allow people to feel like you are their safe space to finally let go of what they have been carrying around.

The mistake we tend to make and I made it very early on as well, is that we don’t feel like that is enough.  How is just listening enough, I have to do something about this, and that is a human need, feeling we need to fix it and make it better.

But if we can start to understand just how powerful that is, just listening.  If you have ever had an experience where someone just listens to you, not listening to respond but really listening to hear you, focusing wholly on you, not distracted by anything else, you would know just how impactful that is.

That is the gift you give to other people, just listening, focusing on them and them only and that in itself is enough, you are enough.  You don’t have to do anything else, you don’t have to fix anything and you don’t have to have all the answers.

boundaries

I know when I first started in my Counsellor studies that was my biggest fear, that I wouldn’t know the answers, what the right advice to give would be.  The first thing my teacher said to me was “being a Counsellor is never about giving advice, we don’t give advice, we help our clients to find the answers for themselves”, boy was that a huge weight off my shoulders.

It is the same for you, you don’t need to have all the answers, you just need to listen and care and as an Empath my love, you have that in the bag.

Now within that an important point and something I really want you to understand is, the process is:

  1. You listen
  2. Allow them to release what they need to let go of
  3. You also let it go, you do not absorb it, you do not carry it

As empaths we can have a bad habit of feeling that if someone is sharing it with me then that must mean I am supposed to carry it, or I am strong enough to carry it.  No, that is not the reason, the reason is like I said before you are the safe place for them to unload, not to absorb and not to carry.

An analogy for you:  When you are going on a trip and you take your bags to the departure desk at the airport, you don’t give the bag to the customer service officer do you, you put it on the conveyor belt.  The person serving you and getting you booked in, isn’t going to then carry your bags for you, are they?  Of course not they are just the safe place for your bags to go, knowing that they are in the right place and will be boarded onto the plane.

It is the same for you when people unload, it’s not because they want you to carry it, it’s because they just need to stop carrying it themselves.  So you allow them to unload and as I said that is a huge service you are providing right there and then you allow the baggage to be on its way.

Remembering:

  • You are not fixing
  • You are not saving
  • You are not giving advice
  • You are not absorbing

You are allowing that person to feel freer, to feel lighter, to feel heard and to feel understood and that is such a powerful gift you can give to people.

Now to bring all of this back around to the idea of boundaries, you are going to see that implementing boundaries is actually two fold:

  1. We are implementing those boundaries so people don’t feel that they can walk all over us, or they can’t take up all of our time.  They need to start to respect us and respect our time.
  2. It is also a boundary for yourself, you also do not step over that line.  You hold the space for them, but you do not absorb and you do not step over that line into their energy field and try to fix or save them.

I hope you can start to see that if we do it in that way, that we are not changing who we are, we are still the same person you don’t have to be different.  You don’t have to stop being who you are or fulfilling that innate need of wanting to help people.  It is changing what helping people means, changing what serving people means.

It is changing what helping and serving people means.

What you are now doing is just holding that container, that allows people to feel safe in unloading and letting go of what is just too damn heavy to continue carrying around, emptying it into the container, you are closing the lid and then its done.

boundaries

Instead of being completely open and having no boundaries and allowing them to step over that, then feeling they are telling me this, so it must be my job to fix it.  It must be my job to save them, NO it is not!

If you continue to do that, continue to not have any boundaries, continue to be the person that fixes everything for people or having to save people all of the time.  You are actually doing them a dis-service, we are all here to have our lessons, for our soul to grow but if you are continually going out of your way to fix and save people you are removing that opportunity of growth for them.

If you can think about it in that way, that by putting these boundaries in place I am actually helping them, I am empowering them for learning and growth the boundaries will no longer feel like you are doing something wrong or being selfish.

You are not losing your ability to help people, you are helping them in a different way.

You are going to help them to grow and a great example of this is when our kids start to grow, when they are little you are leading them along their path but as they become older, teenagers and young adults its time for us to step off their path and walk along side them.

Another great way to look at boundaries from an empowered place is to look at the role of our guardian angels, if you have been with me for a while you will know that your guardian angel can not step in and help you unless you ask aka boundaries.  So if you start to see yourself as an Earth Angel just walking along side people, guiding and helping them without stepping over yours and their boundaries, you are going to be one powerful earthly being.

Put your boundaries in place, Be their Guide and watch both yours and their lights start to shine like never before.

If you are having trouble putting your boundaries in place and are noticing you are feeling guilty or selfish and left feeling exhausted, drained and overwhelmed. I can help you to heal those emotions and allow you to become that powerful earthly being.  Click here to book your appointment.


Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

words affecting your energy

How Your Words Are Affecting Your Energy

How Your Words Are Affecting Your Energy


“With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility” – Spiderman

A quote that came to me when I started to think about the power of the word, clearly being married to a sci-fi geek for the past 20 years is finally rubbing off on me.

Words are so extremely powerful and with that does come a lot of responsibility, as the words you use determine your reality.

Whether it is the words you use when you are talking to yourself, the words you use to describe yourself or the words you use when you are communicating with others.

The words you use when talking to yourself are the most powerful, as you are the person that one you spend the most time with and two listen to the most.

The words you use to describe yourself also have such a big impact on you, if you think about the way in which you describe yourself you can either empower or dis-empower yourself.

This is where you can start to see the affect that your words have on your energy, when you are feeling empowered and confident your energy levels are high.  But when you are feeling dis-empowered due to the words you are using, your energy is going to be low.

I always remember been told as a young mum of two girls that I am their biggest influence as the same sex parent, the way in which I describe myself to them can have a huge affect on how they then see themselves.

For example, say I say something like “I look fat today”, they can then internalise that and think if mum thinks she is fat, maybe I am too.

This really leads into the power of the word when you are also communicating with others, you have an affect on those around you, even if you are not aware of it.  I know for me my kids don’t seem to be listening for the most part, teenage girls for you.  But there will be times where I hear my words coming out of their mouth, so clearly they are listening.

I feel this is very well demonstrated in our current issues in schools around bullying, for the most part for our kids, it is the words that are being said as opposed to physical bullying.  All you have to do is look at the rate of teen/kid suicide from being bullied at school and online, again the power of the word.

The old saying goes:

“Sticks and Stones may break my Bones but Words will never Hurt me”

Boy is that all kinds of wrong, the emotional trauma that comes from the words used against you, words used to describe you and words used to hurt you is so so damaging.

Emotional wounds take so long to heal and unfortunately are not given enough attention in today’s world, if you are emotional you are seen as weak, if you are sensitive, you are seen as weak.

We need to start to give our words more attention, to really understand their power, their influence and their affect not just on us but on those that we interact with.

A great way to start to connect in more with your words is to allow them to move through the following pathways:

words affecting your energy

Making this a habit is going to help you so much to spend more time feeling empowered and influential, using your words for good.  Knowing you have the power to decide how it is you want to feel and how it is you want to make others feel when they are in your presence.  Because not only will the use of your words make a difference, your energy level will be different and those around you will feel it.


It is my honour to hold a safe space for you as you discover, heal and release your past and move towards a place of happiness, peace and serenity.

Together we will:

Unlock the Healer Within, Heal Past Traumas, Understand your Gift and Strengths as an Empath, Heighten your Self-Worth and Self-Confidence, Uncover the Culprit behind your Patterns, Uncover and Release Limiting Beliefs, and Create space for your dreams to manifest

Click here to book your appointment

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

Which Moon Phase is Your Friend?

Which Moon Phase is Your Friend?

Contrary to popular belief the full moon phase is my friend.

I am sure you have heard all the bad things about the full moon phase, like all the crazies are out or it is hard to sleep during the full moon phase.  Whilst I am sure these things are true, they just aren’t true for me.

Would you like to know how I found this out?

I remember before I really knew much about the moon phases or cycles, it was all about the full moon and believing the hype about it and what other people had experienced.

So what happens when you take on the beliefs of other people?  You start to see that happening in your life too, because your brain is very good at always proving to you that you are right, that what you believe is true.

So yes you would of seen some crazy people about or you would have had trouble sleeping.  Why?  Because that is what you believed.

But what if you could actually truly learn about each of the moon phases from an individual stand point, not what other people have told you, not what popular belief is but what you truly experience through each moon phase or cycle.

This is exactly what I did, I could no longer fool myself into believing what I was been told I should feel or experience.  So I went to work and charted out the moon cycles for 30 days and paying very close attention to my thoughts, feelings, experiences, energy levels and moods.

Moon Phase

Each day I would journal about how I was feeling, what I was experiencing both internally and externally and I used a system to indicate my energy levels.  So for low energy medium energy and for high energy.  I also noted what moon phase or cycle we were in, this gave me a good indication of which moon cycles were my friend and which were not.

Once I learned what was good for me and what wasn’t I was then able to plan my schedule around it.  For example I learned I am super energised on the full moon, very creative and can get so much done and yes I sleep very well.

Whereas on the Gibbous moon cycle, this one is not my friend, I would feel exhausted, low mood, low energy, low everything, so this was my time of rest where I would lay low.

So as you can see if I went on the popular belief on each moon cycle I wouldn’t be doing myself any justice, trying to do things at the wrong times and wondering why I wasn’t getting anywhere.

I challenge you to do the same, get yourself a book and chart out the moon cycles for the month and just start to see the pattern and gain a deeper understanding of the moon cycles as they apply to you and your energy.

Have a listen to the podcast episode where I briefly share with you each of the moon cycles.

 

I can promise you it will start to make a big difference in your life and help you to start to understand your own cycle too.


Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

If you need extra support in understanding the moon cycles and how they apply to you, book a free call with Nicole.  You can book in here.

Is Your Undercurrent Running the Show?

“Is Your Undercurrent Running the Show?”

To quote the description from the dictionary “an undercurrent is a hidden opinion, feeling, or tendency often contrary to the one publicly shown” and when I read this, I thought yes that makes so much sense.

We tend to put out into the world how we want people to perceive us or how we feel others expect us to be, but it isn’t always congruent with what is going on within you or who you truly are at your very core, your souls essence.

That is all fine and good until you start to notice it affecting your life and not been able to achieve the things in your life that you truly want and deserve.  So the question remains “is your undercurrent running the show?”

“There is more going on than meets the eye”

 

One very simple question is going to answer that for you ~ are you receiving the things in your life that you want and deserve?  If the answer is yes then you are all good and your surface and undercurrent are congruent and you can keep doing what you are doing.

If the answer is a resounding NO then there is a gap between what is happening on the surface to what is happening under the surface, aka your undercurrent.

As a Law of Attraction Trainer (yes another hat I wear :)) I teach a three step process to manifesting the things that you want into your life, it is quite simple:

Step 1: Identify Your Desire 

Step 2: Give your desire attention

Step 3: Allow

You can click on the links above to learn more about the process.

Through my own experience what I noticed was there was a step missing, whilst I was attracting great things into my life, they felt a little inconsistent.  This is when I decided to dig deeper and see the cause and of course I came across my undercurrent.

Just like when people place timestamps on their YouTube videos and you can see the little dashes and you can jump to the different parts of the video, it is the same with your past experiences, each of your experiences are like a timestamp and each timestamp can have an affect on your current experience.

Within that current are all the beliefs you hold about yourself, about the world and about what you think is possible.  If you can imagine that say your belief is “I am not worthy” then that belief in and of itself is going to have a huge affect on what you can manifest into your life.

When you are not feeling worthy of something or someone then it would be very hard for you to believe that it is possible and of course that is then the message you are sending out to the universe.  So no surprise that you are not attracting the things into your life that you want and deserve.

So as you can see this missing piece can have a massive affect on your life, so its important to start to look at your beliefs, pull them apart and start to understand where they stem from, so you can then go to work on healing and releasing them from your energetic body.

As you do that you will start to notice that you are able to attract and manifest things, people and experiences into your life very easily.  As easy as thinking about it and bam there it appears right in front of you.

Step 4: Heal and Release

In the podcast episode I shared an energy healing to help you to start to access these beliefs, heal and release them, so you can start to manifest what is you want and deserve.


Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

 

To work with me privately, click here to book your free online discovery session and we can talk about what you have been experiencing and how I can support you.

 

Grief is a Vessel

Grief is a Vessel

Grief is a Vessel

Grief is a vessel that carries you through your transition keeping you safe.  A very profound and powerful perception of grief, imagine instead of feeling you have a process you need to go through, milestones you need to meet you can just feel held.

Held moment to moment, knowing within your vessel is everything you need to move through your transition.  Grief is a transition, you are adjusting to a new normal.

On the podcast alongside sharing with you the concept of viewing your grief as a gift and what you can put in your vessel to aid you in your transition, I also share a beautiful meditation to help you envision and stock up your vessel with everything you need.  Click below to listen.

When you hear or talk about grief I am sure the first thing that comes to mind is the loss of a loved one, but what is important to acknowledge is:

Grief is the loss of anything that you held dear and was an integral part of your life.

That can be so many things within your life, in the times we are in right now there is a lot of people experiencing grief even if they don’t acknowledge it.  As an empath you may be feeling that collective energy and not necessarily understand what that feeling is.

So many people have been displaced, lost their jobs and of course the loss of loved ones as well on the top of that list.  They are now in a place of having to grieve for the loss of the life they thought they would have and did have only a few short months ago.

There have been times in my life where grief was apparent and where I learned that grief is not only about the loss of a loved one.  When my daughter was diagnosed with a chronic lifelong condition a few years ago I really struggled and it wasn’t until I realised the missing piece to moving forward was grieving for what I had lost.

I needed to grieve for the life I thought I would have and grieve for the life I thought she would have.  This was my turning point, as soon as I acknowledged the grief and gave myself the time to adjust, to grieve and to integrate this experience I was then really able to start to move forward with new plans and new vision for our life.

Another example was the loss of one of our children through a miscarriage, our little boy who would have been between my two girls and would be 17 years old now.  I never took the time to grieve, it didn’t feel acceptable back then, I just got on with life, not giving myself the time to acknowledge my loss and grieve for the life of our beautiful boy.

What I noticed was it really affected so many other areas of my life, because you really can’t go back to normal life after that, you need to grieve and integrate the experience.  I needed to spend some time in my vessel, feeling safe and secure until I was ready to transition back into normal life.

The vessel is your place, your safe space to move through your grieving process and yes it is your grieving process, it doesn’t need to be like anyone else does it, but exactly what you need and when you need it.

You may have noticed in the past people may have said to you, you need to grieve or you are in denial or the good ole you need to move through the five stages.  But you know what it doesn’t work that way, it is not like oh I’m angry, great I can tick that off my list.

Just like our healing journey it is not linear, there will be times where you need your vessel more and times where you need it less.  The importance is to know it is there and you can move back into it at any time, giving yourself the time and space you need to move through your transition.

Just like a caterpillar going into its cocoon where it stays until its wings are ready and emerges as a beautiful butterfly, it is the same for you, your vessel is your cocoon and you can stay in there as long as you need and only when you feel your wings are ready do you emerge.


Grief counselling is something I specialise in and if you are experiencing grief right now and would like to feel supported and having someone who can hear exactly what you are going through without turning away, I am your girl!

You can book your free online strategy session here, where we can talk about what you have been going through and I can share with you how we can work together.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

The Three Ingredients you need to let go

The Three Ingredients You Need to Let Go

The Three Ingredients You Need to Let Go

The three ingredients you need to let go

I am sure you have been told time and time again “you just need to let go”, I know I have heard those words more times than I care to count.

It may also have been worded in such a way that made you feel there was something wrong with you, like “you need to get over it” or “build a bridge” is another one I have heard.

Now if you are anything like me you may have been left feeling unheard, misunderstood and maybe even a nuisance to those around you.

I am here to tell you with the assistance of Archangel Azrael, there is a process to letting go and there are certain things that need to happen before you can “just let go”.

Archangel Azrael

On the podcast alongside the three ingredients you need to let go, the difference between walking away and letting go, I also share my very own personal experience of letting go of a 20 year relationship. Click below to listen.

 

Let’s talk about the three ingredients that you need to let go:

1.Heal 2.Grow 3.Let Go

So as you can see the process of letting go isn’t as easy or simple as people in your life and influence may have made out.

To ever have a hope of letting go of something that has caused you pain in some shape or form, you need to take the time to heal.

If you think about a physical injury, one that can be seen by the naked eye, are you ever told to get over it or let it go?  Of course not, because they can see the pain.

Emotional pain like chronic pain and invisible illnesses that can’t be seen by the naked eye, it can cause people to want you to just move on.

Now the kicker here is something that I really want you to understand, this isn’t about you.  This is about them and the uncomfortable feeling they are experiencing in not being able to soothe your hurt, to make you feel better to heal you.

So now you understand that part is not about you, lets chat about the part that is……the healing is your part, your responsibility.  Its giving yourself the time to heal, to work through the pain you have experienced and able to integrate it into your experience, where it no longer causes you pain in the present.

Note: This isn’t about letting anyone but yourself off the hook.

Through this process of healing you won’t have a choice but to grow, as you heal from the experience you are going to grow, you are going to learn things about yourself that you didn’t know before – aka growth.

One of the biggest parts of being on Earth at this time is for your soul to learn lessons and for the most part unfortunately those lessons come with pain.  Your role is to move through the experience, heal what you went through, take the lesson and then yes then and only then are you ready to let go.

These three ingredients are your key to starting to let go of things, people and experiences that have caused you pain and are still carrying it around.  Pain is heavy, whether that is physical or emotional, it is exhausting.

If you are ready to heal, grow and let go then its time for you to book your free call.  You can book it right here and I will share with you how I can support you as you start on your healing journey and let go of all of that pain that is weighing you down and leaving you feeling exhausted.


Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

how to help your sensitive child

How to help your Sensitive Child

How to help your Sensitive Child

 

Looking at this image can you pick or feel the energy of the child that is more sensitive than the others?

Let’s break it down, the older child on the left is exuding confidence and the youngest feels like she has a real mischievous spirit and the middle child she is the beautiful sensitive soul not really sure what she is feeling, or why this is uncomfortable for her.

 

As a sensitive soul yourself it is very likely that one or more of your children are highly sensitive or even an empath.  For me I have two girls, one is a highly sensitive soul and the other one is an empath, no surprises there.  So it has been challenging to raise them in such a way that their sensitivity isn’t something that they feel is wrong with them, but instead a powerful part of their spirit.

So I felt guided to share with you some ways how you can help your sensitive child:

  • Understanding

Starting to understand your child is the first step, becoming an observer of how they react and behave in different social settings and environments.  How do they cope at parties?  What happens for them in large gatherings, such as shopping centres?  Take note of their energy levels, their mood swings and behaviour that is unacceptable and with no real cause.

This is going to help you to determine where it is that they need extra support and guidance, they are not going to be understanding either why they feel the way they do and this is where you can offer so much support and guidance to them.

I am sure you know for yourself growing up as a sensitive soul, it was not easy and if you had support and guidance it would of made your childhood a whole lot easier and fruitful.

  • Explaining

Now that you have a deeper understanding of your child and how their sensitivity is affecting them and expressing itself in their life, you can explain it to your child, to help them to understand why they feel the way they do.

It is important when explaining it to them that you never preface sensitivity with “it’s just because you are sensitive”, that can be construed as something bad, that there is something wrong with them.  We want to make sure that all sensitive beings kids or adults understand that their sensitivity is their gift, not a curse.

You can start out by asking them questions, depending on their age of course.  When you go to a party with your friends, how do you feel afterwards?  Do you notice you feel tired?  When we go to the shops, how do you feel when we are there?  Does your tummy start to hurt, do you start to feel tired?

These are all great questions to help them to start to get to know themselves better and what a powerful gift you are giving your child.

You can then start to explain to them why it is they feel this way.  Check out this article “The Traits of an Empath” which will also help you to determine their levels of sensitivity and what areas of their life are affecting them negatively.   I also talked about this topic on “The Nurtured Empath” Podcast – see below.

 

 

How to help your sensitive child

  • Shielding

Now you have a deeper understanding of how your child’s sensitivity is affecting them you can now help them to cope in those situations and environments.  Shielding is one of those ways, it is a great way for your child to feel protected from the energy of other people that has been affecting them probably throughout their whole life.

When my girls where younger we used to play this fun game on the way to school and we called it “Shields Up”, they were both into sci-fi shows so this was an easy sell.  I taught them to envision a big bubble surrounding them from the top of their head all the way down and under their feet, whilst they were inside this bubble none of the energy that made them feel sad, angry, anxious or tired could get to them it would just bounce straight back off.

To invoke the energetic shield of protection, we would just say “Shields Up” and they would put their hands up on either side of their head – see image of my youngest daughter showing it in action.  This is enough for their energy shield to be protected and reducing the amount of energy they are absorbing from other people around them.

 

 

  • Body Scan

This is a very powerful exercise to put your child back in charge, allow him/her to know their body and their energetic system so well that when any other energy comes close they will be aware of it. (You can do this for yourself too)

It is a very simple yet powerful and effective technique.  It is an envisioning exercise, just like an x-ray machine, you are going to get them to scan their body from head to toe and noticing any areas of tension, tightness or pain.

What this does is allows your child to then know what is theirs and what is not, so for example if they are feeling completely fine at home and then leave the house to go to school and start to feel pain or tension anywhere in their body, they will know it doesn’t belong to them.

how to help your sensitive child

The action then becomes:   “This isn’t mine, I let it go”

Arming your child with this simple yet powerful technique is going to help them so much in embracing their sensitivity and will see them through not only their childhood years but through adulthood as well.


 

Are you feeling more prepared now in how to help your sensitive child?  I would love to hear your experiences in raising a sensitive child, comment below and let me know.  I respond to every comment.

 

Nicole Ivens | Gold Coast Counsellor

When life gives you lemons

When Life Gives You Lemons

When Life Gives You Lemons…

 

 

“When Life Gives You Lemons You Need To Dig Deep”

It is in times like this where you can feel unsupported by the universe and your cosmic team and that they have left you to suffer, when in actual fact they are right by your side, just waiting for you to ask for their help.  As you may or may not be aware your cosmic team needs permission to step in and support you, so ask yourself the question “have I put myself in a position where they can help, assist and support me?”.

A lot of the time we can feel abandoned and unsupported and as the sensitive beings that we are, we can have the mindset of “I can do it myself, I don’t need help” or “I am the helper, I can’t possibly burden another person with my problems”.  So by asking yourself that question, you are opening up your awareness to your part in this situation or any situation where you have felt left behind and unsupported.

Your cosmic team will help you by taking your hand and leading you out of the darkness if you let them, it may look a little something like this:

You may start to notice little signs of light that grab your attention, for example:  When my daughter was diagnosed with Epilepsy five years ago, we spent many days and nights in hospital and what a drab and depressing place that is.  My cosmic team helped shine the light for me by reminding me of the wonderful support of her medical team and the brand new children’s hospital that had been opened not long before her first seizure.

So as you can see they were shining the light by showing me the good within the situation, without that awareness and asking for help, I would of stayed in the darkness of what we were experiencing.

What light is your Cosmic Team bringing into your current situation?


Are ready to Connect to Yourself, Connect to your Soul Tribe and Connect to your Cosmic Team?

I am extending the invitation to join “The Mystical Membership” as a Founding Member, you will get lifelong access at the Founding Member price of just $22 per month.  You will get to be a part of a community of like-minded sensitive women that understand you on a deep core level and experience the world just like you do.

 

Join the Mystical Membership


Nicole Ivens | Gold Coast Counsellor

What you can learn from the Unearthing of the Golden Buddha

What you can learn from the Unearthing of the Golden Buddha

 

“The Quality of your Life comes down to the Quality of your Foundation”

Many years ago in Thailand was a temple with a huge Golden Buddha. Word came to this village that an army was about to invade, so they covered the Golden Buddha with mud and concrete so it looked like a stone Buddha and the invading army would perceive no value in it.
 
Sure enough, the army rolled in and passed by the stone Buddha and had no reason to plunder it. For many years, the army occupied the village with this temple and Buddha. And there was a time where nobody remembered that the Buddha was golden.
 
And then one day, a young monk was meditating at the base of the Buddha, and a little piece of gold chipped off. The monk excitedly told the other monks and they started hammering at the statue and realized it was a Golden Buddha.
 
The metaphor is that each of us is golden by nature.

We are born knowing everything. But then we go to school and learn a certain way to live, and put a ‘casing of mud stone over the Buddha.’ And we start to believe we are the stone Buddha, not the golden one.

Then something comes along that cracks our casing and knocks off a piece of our armor and in that moment, we look inside and see the gold. At that moment, all we want to do the rest of our life is pick away the stone because the gold is so much more fun!”


Your life is a series of experiences that piles on top of each other, as each one layers up the foundation can either stay firm and solid or it can start to shake and wobble.

The more you add the bigger the chance that the foundation is going to start to crack and break away.  The more it breaks away the less it can handle.

You know how you can handle some really big things in your life and then small incidents seem to rock you to your core, this is your foundation cracking and rumbling.

Letting you know it can’t handle anymore, you need to take off some of the layers, put down the burden and release the weight from your foundation.  Your foundation has been building up year by year, layer upon layer.  Issue is with every layer containing small stress fractures, your foundation can become very unstable.

Going through each layer and gluing the cracks, putting it aside until you get to the foundation.  As you reveal your foundation you will see your pure unique essence, your light.  Your essence and your light that has been hidden under all these layers.

Similar to digging for gold and the Golden Buddha that was unearthed, it had been covered in clay/cement to stop it from being stolen.  It’s the same for you these layers have been protecting you, your essence and your light.

Like the Golden Buddha, a time came when it was safe to unearth the gold statue.  Now is the time to unearth/uncover you, allowing your true essence, your true light to shine.

The light that connects you to source, it was always there, you just didn’t know because it was buried so deep in a safe place until you were ready to be truly unearthed.

This brings me to ask the question “Are you ready to unearth the Golden Buddha within you?”

I know there is a beautiful golden light within you, just waiting to be unearthed, the layers to be cracked open to reveal your true essence.

All it needs is one little crack for the golden light to start to seep out, to show you, to fill you with hope and faith that you are so much more than you are giving yourself credit for.


If you are sick of feeling overwhelmed, sick of feeling exhausted, sick of feeling lost and confused then come and join us and know you are becoming a part of something that is going to really help you to move forward, to heal, to feel empowered and to feel nurtured.

 

Join the Mystical Membership


 

surrender

Surrender your Stranglehold on the Universe

“All we have is this moment, yesterday is gone and tomorrow is yet to arrive”

 

Surrender

The attempt and effort to control each moment is an exercise in futility, there are way too many forces at play at any given moment to have full control over anything.  As you do make this attempt instead of gaining the outcome you are looking for, you are in actual fact, cutting off the flow from the Universe.

 

Surrendering to each and every moment, releases anxiety and worry, in this moment you can breathe.  You can handle this moment!  Surrendering is letting go of control, relinquishing the idea that all you have is your own power that there is no-one else.

You can handle this moment! 

In a place of control you are cutting off the power of the universe, a stranglehold on your life and then wondering why it’s not working out how you envisioned.  It reminds me of a saying:

“If you love something, let it go and if it returns, it is yours forever”

surrender

Whilst surrendering and letting go is frightening, the immense relief you will feel is more than worth the moment of fear.  Remember as a child you didn’t have to worry how things happened,  you could rely on a bigger power – Your Parents.

It is no different now, there is a bigger infinite power at play – The Universe.  You just need to trust in her, like you trusted in your parents to never lead you astray.

When we are continuously worrying about things, whether it’s about what has been or what has yet to come, it’s like we are really putting a stranglehold on the Universe.  Not allowing it to flow through us because we are strangling it, strangling it with worry, strangling it with anxiety and strangling it with stress.

If we can surrender to the current moment, surrender to right now that is like us just releasing that stranglehold.  It is allowing us to really trust in the Universe, trusting that she knows what we need in each and every moment, trusting that she will provide for us in each and every moment, financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Providing us with everything we need in each and every moment, imagine living from that place, how different would your life look if you did that?  If you just surrendered, surrendered to each moment, not worrying about what has been, not worrying about what is yet to come, just surrender to NOW.

Having unwavering faith and unwavering trust, that everything you need is going to flow to you.  In actual fact what we have been doing by having the stranglehold is not allowing those things to flow to us, we are really putting a kink in it, making it extremely hard for information, guidance and physical items to flow through to us.

Just like when you put a kink in a hose, the water just stops flowing doesn’t it, there is no where for it to go, it certainly can’t flow through to the end of the hose.

surrender

 

All the Universe wants is to flow through you, your source is infinite, so you are infinite.  We are all connected, so if we can allow ourselves to be in the present moment to surrender to that, to lean in to that then things are going to flow with so much ease.  There won’t be that constriction, there won’t be that kink, it is just going to flow very easily.

“Have unwavering faith and unwavering trust, that everything you need is going to flow to you”

Take on the challenge of surrendering to each and every moment, letting go of the past and not worrying about the future.  How much will you surrender to the current moment?

To feel supported as you learn to live in this new way, our Mystical Membership is the perfect place for you to start to explore, Your Way and Your Path.  You can learn more here.