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Love Thyself

Happy Valentines Day!

Whether this day fills you with excitement or dread, it’s important to remember the message of this special day.

LOVE!

Valentines

Whilst Valentines Day is now heavily commercialised and aimed at intimate couples, there is no reason to not make this a day of love, kindness and compassion towards yourself.

Now showing love to yourself and being #1 in your life may feel strange at first, it is essential to your emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing.

You may be having thoughts of “yeah right, like I have time for that.”  But what if I told you, you can show yourself love, kindness and compassion right now as you read this article.

Are you IN?

Wonderful let’s get to work.  In every minute of every day you have thoughts slipping past your awareness and I can guarantee they are not all good for you.

So right now I want you to think, say out loud or write down something nice about yourself.  It could be a physical attribute, a personality trait or a strength.

Ready…..Set……GO!

Did you do it?   I am trusting that you did, so imagine spending all of Valentines Day just being kind and compassionate to yourself.  How do you think  you would experience the day?  To go one step further, envision doing this every day, just saying some kind words to yourself.  Your life would start to change in ways that you can’t even imagine right now and all from a few simple kind words.

Be Kind

Our journey here on Earth isn’t one that is supposed to leave us feeling in pain, not good enough or worthy of love.  It is to spread love and joy not just to our fellow human being but most importantly to ourselves first.

Can you imagine if you spoke to your children, the way you speak to yourself, what would their life be like?  How would they feel about themselves?  Exactly, not great right.

So your mission for this Valentines Day and beyond if you choose to accept it, is to just share some kind words and thoughts with yourself.

Do you accept your mission?

Leave a reply below and let me know and if you feel up to it, share with me the kind words you are sharing with yourself today.

Nicole Ivens | EFT Practitioner

To support you in showing kindness and compassion to yourself I also offer 1-1 individual sessions.  You can book your private session here.

Universe

The Universe is a Mirror

The Universe is a Mirror

Looking over my life, I have at times wondered what is the universe doing

Have you found yourself asking that question – Universe what are you doing?

 

I could never really understand why some people seem to do things very easily, have everything they could possibly want and more and then others struggle to meet even their basic needs.  So, why is that?

The universe is a mirror, it is merely reflecting what you are sending out.  Sending out you ask, not like you are sending a letter?  Everything on earth is made up of energy, including you.  So at each moment you are sending out an energy whether negative or positive and are known as vibrations – vibes for short.

Try this little exercise to help you to understand this energy or vibes I am talking about.  Rub your hands together for 20 seconds, now pull them apart, feel that buzzing feeling, that is your energy.  So, now that you are aware of your energy what can you do about it?

This is the good news, you are in control and can have some say in how your life looks and the results you are seeing in all areas of your life.

Now, I know this can be a hard pill to swallow, to have this responsibility for how your life looks.

As scary as it can be when you first learn this, it is also great news, because you can change the way your life looks.

But, how do you know whether you are sending out a negative or positive vibe?

Well, this all comes down to how you are feeling and the mood you are experiencing.

A good feeling aka happy, excited = positive vibe and a bad feeling aka sad or angry = negative vibe, so with this you can be in control and change your mood or feelings to ensure you are sending out what you want to receive back.

The universe aka Law of Attraction has only one job and that job is to match vibrations

I like to call the universe a mirror, reflecting exactly what you are sending out.  So sending out a positive vibe will see you experiencing more positivity in your life and sending out negative vibes will see you experiencing more negativity.  Pretty simple right?

Well yes and no, being in touch with your feelings will really help you to start to see great things happening in your life and on the other hand if you have been shutting down your feelings for quite some time this will take some work, but is by no means impossible.

Over the next few weeks I am going to share with you strategies to help you to attract the things in your life that you want as opposed to the things you don’t want.

Make sure to subscribe to my newsletter to ensure you receive each strategy to your inbox.

Today, I will leave you with some homework before we get started with my first strategy in next weeks blog.

Over the next week I want you to remove the words “Don’t, Not and No” from  your vocabulary and that includes verbal communication with others and the thoughts you are having and stories you are telling yourself.

universe words

This homework is going to get you on the right path to start to get back in the driver’s seat and take back control of your life.

                                 Written by Nicole Ivens

Nicole Ivens is an experienced Professional Counsellor, Wellness Coach and Law of Attraction Facilitator Law of Attraction Facilitator

Nicole helps women to reduce fear and anxiety and take back control of their life by kicking fear to the kerb and getting back in the driver’s seat of their life.

Learn more about Nicole www.nicoleivens.com/meetnicole

New Years Resolution

5 Steps to a Successful New Year’s Resolution

Happy New Year!

Welcome to a new year, where you have 365 new chances to build a new life.

365 New Chances for 2018

 

How many year’s past have you set a new year’s resolution and found it amounted to less than you had hoped for?

 

Why not make 2018 your year and do things differently, make a change in your behaviour and see the difference in your life over the next 365 days.

 

5 easy steps to a successful new year’s resolution

Smart Goal

 

Step #1  – S = Specific

In setting your goal for your new year’s resolution it is important to be specific, being very vague or global about your new year’s resolution is going to set you up for failure.  As the saying goes “Failing to plan is planning to fail”, taking the time to really jot down what it is you want to achieve is the first step to success.  Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. How do I want to feel once I achieve my goal?
  2. How will my life be different?
  3. What will this do for me on a personal level?

Step #2 – M = Measurable

The next step is to ensure your goal for your new year’s resolution is measurable, you need to be able to see the  progress you are making towards your goal.  This will help to keep you on track and provide you with the motivation to ensure you achieve your goal.  Research shows that the majority of new year’s resolutions are done and dusted by 15th January due to old habits re-surfacing and not having a plan in place to keep you motivated.

Step #3 – A – Achievable

This step helps to keep you accountable to what is possible for you right now, don’t get me wrong thinking big and outside of your box is important, however it is also essential to start with something that you know is achievable with the resources that you have available to you right now.  Making your goal achievable is another great way of motivating you, seeing small steps towards your goal will keep you going way past previous attempts.   Asking yourself, what resources do I have available to me right now to attain my goal?

Step #4 – R – Rewarding

What is the point of doing anything if it isn’t rewarding in some way, right?  This step is going to help you to stay motivated and inspired to stick to your plan and have the best chance of being successful in the area  you have chosen for your new year’s resolution.   So ensure your goal is for you and not because someone else or society dictates you should, it needs to mean something to you.  This will help you to keep at it, taking the action steps required to get you there and in the hard times something to push you across the finish line.

Step #5 – T – Timely

The final step is to make your goal timely, how long will it take you to achieve your goal?  6 weeks, 12 weeks, 6 months or 12 months, knowing this will help you to plan out your action steps and have points along the way that show you that you are well on your way to achieving your goal.  Seeing your progress and taking the time to bring awareness to how far you  have come will definitely keep you going and well on your way to having a successful new year’s resolution for 2018.

 

This 5-step process is really going to help you to make 2018 your year, how great will it feel at the end of the year and you can say ‘YES’ I achieved my goal and actually followed through with my new year’s resolution for possibly the very first time.

Go after what you want, keep it in your view and do it just for YOU!

Written by Nicole Ivens

Nicole Ivens is an experienced Professional Counsellor, Wellness Coach and EFT Practitioner.

Nicole helps women to reduce fear and anxiety and take back control of their life by kicking fear to the kerb and getting back in the driver’s seat of their life.

Learn more about Nicole www.nicoleivens.com/meetnicole

Thought

Are your thoughts betraying you?

What is a thought?

A thought is made up of words, words you have spoken and words you have heard.  Within your mind this then becomes a thought that can either be taken at its ‘word’ or be subject to assessment.

How often are your thoughts subject to assessment?  Do you just believe everything you think?

Your thoughts can be very convincing and feel very true, you can even convince yourself of things that once spoken out loud may seem outrageous?  This just shows how powerful your thoughts are and how they can betray you.

The thoughts that you think are reliant on the experiences that you have had and your level of self-confidence and self-esteem, look at the two following people and decide which one you can identify with.

Person A is walking down the street and sees a friend walking towards them, the friend is looking straight at them but then ducks into a shop without acknowledging person A.

Person A then thinks about this occurrence and starts to think wow that was rude, she didn’t even stop to say hello.  I wonder if I have done something?  Maybe I upset her in some way or said something inappropriate?  Person A then surmises that the friendship is over, if she can’t even be bothered to talk to me than I am done.

Person B is walking down the street and sees a friend walking towards them, the friend is looking straight at them but then ducks into a shop without acknowledging person B.

Person B then thinks how funny, she was looking straight at me and didn’t even see me.  I guess she was busy, I’ll call her later and we can laugh about her not even seeing me.

Person A suffers with low self-esteem and self-confidence and Person B has a healthy level of self-esteem and self-confidence.  Can you see how one situation can be interpreted completely differently depending on the experience of the person?

So, which person can you identify with?  Person A or Person B?

Thought

It can be very helpful to start to have an awareness around how your past experiences can be affecting your current experiences and the affect they may be having on your relationships.

Do you notice a pattern in your relationships and friendships?

Does the same thing tend to happen over and over again and you wonder why?  The reasoning is that your sub-conscious is always looking for past times when you have been in a similar situation to help you to know how to react.  Is this helpful?  Sometimes it can be but sometimes is can feel like a betrayal and you start to wonder what is wrong with you, why am I acting in this way?

So, how do you stop this from happening?

It is important to start to heal past experiences so they stop affecting your current situations and your sub-conscious allows you to respond to only the current situation with no baggage attached.

There are a number of ways to start to heal past hurts and experiences, my number 1 go to modality is EFT/Tapping.  It is such a quick and effective modality that will allow you to release the old patterns and behaviour.  New to EFT?  Learn more here.

Written by Nicole Ivens

Nicole Ivens is an experienced Professional Counsellor, Wellness Coach and EFT Practitioner.

Nicole helps women to reduce fear and anxiety and take back control of their life by kicking fear to the kerb and getting back in the driver’s seat of their life.

Learn more about Nicole www.nicoleivens.com/meetnicole