Have you ever had the thought "I feel like I've lost myself?"
As a deeply empathic and highly sensitive woman your attention for the most part is spent in your external world.
Your attention is on others, what they need and how you can help them.
This can become part of your identity, as a carer and nurturer.
In this article I am going to share with you how you can separate out this part of you to ensure it does not swallow you up.
Losing Yourself is a Consequence of Being the 'Nurturer'...
The role of being the ‘carer’ and/or ‘nurturer’ does have consequences and the big one is losing yourself within that role.
It is easy to do and it happens when you aren’t looking, you wake up one day and all of a sudden you are your role instead of your true self.
Using myself as an example:
Instead of being Nicole, I become:
✖️ Carer/Nurturer
✖️ Mother
✖️ Wife
✖️ Daughter
✖️ Sister
✖️ Friend
If we look at all of those labels, where am I within that, it labels my role, not who I am.
It becomes like our professional roles being who we are, which is also not true. I am a Counsellor but that is not who I am, that is my job and a calling.
To reframe we change it to say “I am Nicole and I work as a Counsellor”, see the difference.
Whilst it can feel a little cold to apply that to our roles with our family, it brings space for freedom to enter and your true self to take up more space…
I am Nicole and my roles are:
✔️Carer/Nurturer
✔️ Mother
✔️ Wife
✔️ Daughter
✔️ Sister
✔️ Friend
Whilst these roles are a big part of my life and I have learned so much about myself through these roles, they are not who I am. A part of me yes, all of me no.
I remember sharing this process with my eldest daughter Gabby when she was first diagnosed with Epilepsy, in the beginning it became her identity. We made the shift from saying she was Epileptic to I am Gabby and I have Epilepsy.
Over-identification with our roles is where we can begin to lose ourselves, even if we don’t see or feel it at first.
Your true self is still there, she is just buried...
That ache you feel within you is her sounding the alarm…
It will be quiet and subtle at first, just a gentle hum…
Then she will start to up the vibration to get your attention…
You might start to feel out of sorts…
Tasks or roles you played may start to feel too much…
You might notice a feeling of resentment towards people you once gave all your energy to…
These are signs that you are ready to listen to that ache within you and make space for your true self to emerge.
What does this ache within you need?
This ache is an awakening and a little attention seeking, she is tired of being pushed down and ignored in place of you holding space for others.
She is asking you to make space within your life for her, giving her time, space and attention will allow her to rise back to the surface.
It can be as simple as stopping and dropping in…
🌿 Stop and drop your attention into your body where you feel the ache
🌿 Feel the ache and ask her what she needs from you
🌿 It could be as simple as breathing into that space within you.
🌿 That breath can make space for her to expand and feel seen and heard.
🌿 In this sacred moment you are with yourself and no other person
🌿 It might not seem like a lot, but giving yourself this sacred space and time can be very healing
I take you through this healing process on the Thrive with Nicole Podcast
This is your permission to Pause, Soften and Reclaim your Presence within Your Life.
🌿 Ready to feel held in your healing? 🌿
If you’ve been carrying emotional aches that no one else can see, but your heart feels every single day. You don’t have to hold it all alone…
✨ Anchor for Your Ache is a deeply supportive 1:1 experience designed to meet you exactly where you are. It’s a sacred space where your emotions are honored, your nervous system is gently soothed, and your inner world is held with compassion.
Through a blend of EFT Tapping, intuitive guidance, and energy healing, we’ll tend to the ache beneath the surface and call in the relief, clarity, and peace your soul is craving.
🔗 Click here to book your Anchor for Your Ache session
You’re not too sensitive. You’re sacred. Let’s anchor into that truth together.
