Expectations can be the source of your pain and disappointment
A very normal part of life is having expectations!
- How your life should look
- How others behave
- How people in positions of authority should act
- Yourself and what you need to achieve in your life
- Your loved ones
As you can see we can have expectations in so many areas of our life, now those expectations can be balanced, low or high. Which of those do you think can cause you pain and disappointment?
High expectations can let you down, especially within relationships. Expecting something from another person and then they don’t deliver can set you up for disappointment and cause you hurt and pain.
So, what should you do? Have low expectations? Because having low expectations would mean you would never be disappointed or hurt right? Well, no because then you are not going to have the life you want and deserve as you are worth so much more and capable of so much more.
The answer is balanced expectations, so what does that even mean? Balanced expectations is having a look at what you expect of yourself and what you expect of others and ask yourself the following questions:
- Is this realistic?
- Is this possible?
- Am I asking too much?
- Will this bring me happiness?
- Is this fair?
It is important to remember, no one else has your heart, so they are not going to respond in the same way. Having thoughts like “if it was me, this is what I would of done”, can be a cause of pain and disappointment.
As the way we would respond is due to our past experiences and our caring heart, just because others respond differently doesn’t mean they are wrong and we are right, it just means they have a different heart and different experience.
At this time of year it is important to check your own expectations before interacting with family and friends, emotions can be heightened and cause unnecessary drama-filled interactions.
It is also good to remember if you don’t have a good relationship with all of your family members, that is okay, we tend to all come together at this time of year and expect to get on with people we don’t normally see.
If you need some space, take it, for your sake and for theirs. Giving your self an adult time-out is perfectly acceptable and this comes from someone who has had some blow-ups with family members at Christmas time.
I am wishing you a beautiful Christmas Day filled of love, respect and understanding.
Written by Nicole Ivens
Nicole Ivens is an experienced Professional Counsellor, Wellness Coach and EFT Practitioner.
Nicole helps women to reduce fear and anxiety and take back control of their life by kicking fear to the kerb and getting back in the driver’s seat of their life.
Learn more about Nicole www.nicoleivens.com/about