"Independence can be a learned behaviour"
In a previous article “Is Your Independence a Trauma Response?” I shared that “Experiencing trauma can cause you to do whatever you need to, to feel safe and sometimes that includes shutting yourself off, building that wall and the only person you rely on is YOU.”
An extension to that is also that independence can be a learned behaviour, as children we are exposed to beliefs from other people and we then take them on as our own.
They then become what we believe to be our truth…
Some examples of limiting beliefs around independence are:
- Relying on others can lead to disappointment
- Asking for help shows your weaknesses
- Doing things for yourself shows such strength
- Nothing is free in this life
- If you want something done properly, you have to do it yourself
Do any of these statements sound familiar to you?
As we unpack these beliefs you may have taken on from those you trusted growing up…
We can see how they can be impacting on your life today, stopping you from allowing others into your heart and world.
Not all is lost, as you bring them into your awareness, you empower yourself to heal and release limiting beliefs that are not yours.
EFT Tapping is a great way to change your limiting beliefs with Independence...
EFT Tapping is not only helpful in healing and releasing limiting beliefs, it is also helpful in implementing an expansive belief…
As you release beliefs that are not serving you, it makes for a beautiful space to place a belief that will serve you…
EFT Casestudy: "I have to be independent"
This EFT casestudy will show you how a limiting belief can have many layers and as we unpack it, the limiting belief has a reduced impact and power…
If this limiting belief resonates with you, I invite you to tap along with me through the transcript below, watch YouTube video or listen on the Thrive with Nicole podcast…
Say the belief out loud “I have to be independent” and notice how it feels in your body.
Are you experiencing tension anywhere in your body?
Rate your belief out of 10, how strong does it feel?
Side of the hand:
Eventhough I have this limiting belief “I have to be independent”, I accept myself and how I feel.
Eventhough I have this limiting belief “I have to be independent”, I accept myself and how I feel.
Eventhough I have this limiting belief “I have to be independent” I accept myself and how I feel.
Eyebrow:
I feel I have to do things myself
Side of the eye:
Asking others to help me is unfair
Under the eye:
I should just do it myself
Under the nose:
I’ve always just done things myself
Chin:
I know they will be done right
Collarbone:
If I do it myself, I don’t owe anything to anyone else.
Underarm:
My independence protects me
Top of the head:
I have to be independent
Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Rate your belief again out of 10
As you can see, one simple belief can have many different layers, there are many different reasons that being independent has been important to this person.
Each of the statements needs to be unpacked as a separate EFT tapping round…
For the sake of this article I will share just one of the statements…
In a private session with a client we would work through each of the statements, unpacking, healing and releasing the energy that is holding it in place.
Starting with the statement that triggers you the most, in this case we started with “my independence protects me”.
Say the statement out loud “my independence protects me” and notice how it feels in your body.
Are you experiencing tension anywhere in your body?
Rate your belief out of 10, how strong does it feel?
Side of the hand:
Eventhough I feel that my independence protects me, I accept myself and how I feel.
Eventhough I feel that my independence protects me, I accept myself and how I feel.
Eventhough I feel that my independence protects me, I accept myself and how I feel.
Eyebrow:
I feel safe when I do things for myself
Side of the eye:
It means I don’t have to rely on anyone else but me
Under the eye:
Relying on others makes me feel vulnerable
Under the nose:
When I am vunerable I feel unsafe
Chin:
My independence protects me against vunerability
Collarbone:
It keeps people at arm lengths from me
Underarm:
It makes me feel strong
Top of the head:
It keeps my armour strong
Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Rate the statement again out of 10
As you can see here EFT Tapping allows you to go deeper and really start to understand what is holding the belief “I have to be independent” in place.
It’s not what you may think, you may have thoughts of “I’ve just always been this way”, or “it’s easier this way”.
Staying on the surface with what you think the issue is, keeps you moving in circles and wondering why you aren’t moving forward.
EFT Tapping is like a nurturing friend that helps you to see the truth in a gentle and effective way.
Say the statement out loud “my independence protects me” and notice how it feels in your body.
Are you experiencing tension anywhere in your body?
Rate your belief out of 10, how strong does it feel?
Eyebrow:
I feel safe when I do things for myself
Side of the eye:
It means I don’t have to rely on anyone else but me
Under the eye:
Relying on others makes me feel vulnerable
Under the nose:
When I am vunerable I feel unsafe
Chin:
My independence protects me against vunerability
Collarbone:
It keeps people at arm lengths from me
Underarm:
It makes me feel strong
Top of the head:
It keeps my armour strong
Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Rate the statement again out of 10
In this EFT Tapping round we continued the tapping from the previous round to continue to lower the feelings in your body and the belief “my independence protects me”…
It is important to continue to tap until you notice a drop in the physical feelings around this belief.
I like to see your number drop to 3 or lower…
Once you drop to 3 or lower, this is the opportunity to implement a new belief utilising EFT Tapping…
For this article, we will do that now…
“I am supported and independent”
Say the belief out loud “I am supported and independent” and notice how it feels in your body.
Are you experiencing tension anywhere in your body?
Rate your belief out of 10, how strong does it feel?
Eyebrow:
I choose to implement a new belief
Side of the eye:
I am supported and independent
Under the eye:
I can allow others to support me and also be independent
Under the nose:
I am supported and independent
Chin:
My independence is just a part of me, not all of me
Collarbone:
I am supported and independent
Underarm:
I can feel supported and still be strong
Top of the head:
I am supported and independent
Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Rate the belief again out of 10
This is a new belief and may take a little time to become strong and second nature to you, remember you have been carrying a different belief for a long time.
Use the new belief, tapping on each point and repeating the belief “I am suppported and independent”.
With a new belief and a shift in your energy you may start to notice some shifts in your external world…
Like people offering to help you with things, your job is to allow this to happen, don’t resist it…
Of course that is another area you could use EFT Tapping, if you notice resistance, tap on that resistance.
The possibilities are endless when it comes to EFT Tapping…
I always say “you can tap on that”…
I trust this EFT casestudy has helped you to understand EFT Tapping more and its capabilities for you in your life…
I invite you to download my free EFT Tapping guide to support you in bringing EFT into your life more and more…
How you can work with me privately:
I offer 1-1 private Holistic Counselling locally on the Gold Coast, Queensland Australia and online worldwide.
Giving you the space you need to uncover what is causing your emotional turmoil.
As a highly sensitive woman and/or empath it is important for you to feel supported and learn more and understand more about your unique gift.
I am passionate about supporting you to move through empathy burnout and thrive as the deeply empathic woman you are.
