How you can help your children with their big emotions...
I am going to start with asking you a question that might be a little difficult…
“What happens within you when your child is experiencing big emotions?”
This is a tell tale sign of actually what needs to be dealt with first…
For example if you get a gut wrenching feeling or feel pain in your heart, this is your subconscious reminding you of a similar time when you experienced big scary emotions as a child.
I know for me prior to working on my own issues from childhood with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) I would be triggered every time one of my girls experienced big emotions.
If they cried, I would cry, if they were anxious, I would be anxious, but clearly that wasn’t any help to them and what they were experiencing.
Working on yourself first can have a profound affect on your child as well, also putting you in a better space to support them through what they are currently experiencing.
Seeing yourself as Switzerland, a place of neutrality is a great place to operate from when it comes to helping your child.
Neutrality gives you great insight and the space to be objective in any situation that presents itself, both in your own personal experience and experiences with your children that present themselves.
"When our little ones are overwhelmed by big emotions, it's our job to share our calm, not join their chaos"
EFT Tapping is very effective at helping to regulate your nervous system and as parents it is our job to help calm our children’s big emotions, not accentuate their overwhelm….
Your Regulated Nervous System can help regulate your childs nervous system...
That is why I feel it is imperative to use EFT Tapping on yourself first….
Like I mentioned earlier, how their outbursts is affecting you is important. You may think well they are the ones having the emotional outburst, what does it have to do with me?
And yes that is true, but there are a couple of reasons why I recommend tapping on yourself first…
- You can respond to their emotional outburst in a calm manner
- Ensure nothing you are carrying within you is affecting or adding to their current level of emotional instability
You are then just responding to what is happening for your child, instead of any additional layers that may come from any energy they feel from you.
How to use EFT Tapping with your children...
As you can see we adjust the tapping points for kids, we tap on just four points instead of eight.
- Eyebrow
- Under the eye
- Collarbone
- Hug under both arms
When it comes to teaching or using this with kids, we want to make it fun…
Using a soft toy, like the teddy bear in this image to emulate the tapping points can also help your children to feel empowered.
You can then move from them tapping on their soft toy, to tapping on the soft toy and tapping on themselves…
For example:
- Tap on teddy
- Tap on me
- Tap on teddy
- Tap on me
- Tap on teddy
- Tap on me
- Tap on teddy
- Tap on me
As they are comfortable tapping on themselves you can slowly remove their soft toy, you will know when the time is right…
To make it even more fun, at the collarbone point you can have your child use their fists and pound on their chest like tarzan.
The great thing about doing tapping with your children is they are already in their emotional state so you don’t need to focus on the words.
Just sitting with them tapping on you and having them tap on themselves and/or soft toy, this will help to regulate their emotions and bring them a sense of calm.
What I find this does as well, is this calming of their nervous system and emotions then allows them to cognitively share with you what may have caused the emotional overwhelm (depending on their age of course).
I encourage you to give this a try with your children and comment below with your experience, you never know who it might help.
How you can work with me privately:
“I am a Holistic Counsellor and Accredited & Certified Clinical EFT Practitioner based in Pimpama, Gold Coast, Australia.
My approach is to bridge traditional and alternative therapies, my experience has shown me that being a bridge between the two worlds and combining talk therapy with EFT Tapping is very effective.
You don’t have to wait till all the wheels fall off to ask for help, I have noticed with some of my clients that this is where they have to get to before they will reach out.
My role is to provide a safe space for you to express how you are feeling, knowing I will hear you; I will understand you and I will validate how you are feeling.
I help you to find what is causing you to feel the way you do and using EFT to help heal the underlying cause.”
Sessions available in person on the Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia and online worldwide.
