What I have been noticing is that a lot of people will excuse how they are feeling, because they feel like there are other people out there that are worse off.
It doesn’t matter what other people are going through, it is all relative, your experiences are relevant to you as their experiences are relevant to them.
This is about you and how you are feeling and about what you are experiencing.
Now you pushing down and not expressing or processing how it is that you are feeling and what it is that you are experiencing is not helping anybody.
Not helping you and not helping the other people you’re seeing that you are empathising with.
You not expressing your own feelings does nothing for them, it’s not going to help them on their path at all.
All it’s going to do is to cause you to feel worse because you’re not going to be expressing or processing how you are feeling.
You’re going to be putting on that mask like we pretend to do to say you know what everything is okay, I am fine.
That is obviously a big statement that empaths tend to use and females especially tend to use, we use that statement of I’m fine.
I think I have mentioned this before in a previous article. I am fine is a statement that is banned in my household because it’s not a true statement.
When someone says they are fine, majority of the time they are not fine, they are just saying I don’t want to burden you with this, so I am going to say that I am fine.
All you’re saying is I can’t feel what I feel because the person over there has got it worse than I do.
All that is doing is pushing it down and not processing, and what not processing does is that it fills you up on the inside.
And if you are filled up on the inside then it reduces your capacity to help other people.
If you are seeing someone else going through a tough time, and you feel that what you’re experiencing is less than.
This then has a ripple effect that causes you to not process what’s going on for you, that means you are minimising your capacity to help them with whatever they’re going through.
So, why would you want to do that? Why would you want to look at their situation?
That is really bad, so what I’m going through that is nothing in comparison so I’m not going to deal with it.
All you are doing is just reducing that space that you have within you to help them with whatever they are going through.
I know for me I wouldn’t want to do that, in my role obviously as a counsellor I have to have the capacity to help my clients.
It’s important that I always deal with my stuff and I can tell you the things I hear from my clients are one hundred times worse than what I go through.
But it doesn’t minimise what I experience, I need to be processing and expressing that for myself, so then I still have that capacity to help them and that is the same for you.
Make sure you’re always expressing your own feelings, giving yourself permission to feel.
You then have that space to help other people that are going through some tough times.
I hope that helps you understand the importance of giving yourself the permission to feel.
It’s important for you to start to know:
- it’s okay to feel what you feel.
- It’s okay to express what you feel.
- It’s okay to process what you feel.
Blocking that and pretending to feel okay, is not helping you to grow it’s stunting your growth, your spiritual growth.
It’s important for you to give yourself the permission to feel.
I really want you to go ahead and be doing that, to start to process or to express what you feel.
Journaling is a great way to do that, it’s like a brain dump, open the page and writing about truly how you are feeling.
What’s been happening? Who is part of the story? What’s the environment it’s happening in?
Writing all of it out, getting it out of your brain, it’s going to help you to express and process it. To see the truth of what is really going on.
Because when we leave things up in our mind, they tend to gain momentum and the story can have things added into it that aren’t necessarily true.
This will really help you to express, process and move through whatever it is you have been experiencing.
That is my tip for you today to start to understand what is you are feeling. I am going to leave you with a question:
“When was the last time you gave yourself the permission to feel what you feel?”
How you can work with me privately:
“I am a Holistic Counsellor and Accredited & Certified Clinical EFT Practitioner based in Pimpama, Gold Coast, Australia.
My approach is to bridge traditional and alternative therapies, my experience has shown me that being a bridge between the two worlds and combining talk therapy with EFT Tapping is very effective.
You don’t have to wait till all the wheels fall off to ask for help, I have noticed with some of my clients that this is where they have to get to before they will reach out.
My role is to provide a safe space for you to express how you are feeling, knowing I will hear you; I will understand you and I will validate how you are feeling.
I help you to find what is causing you to feel the way you do and using EFT to help heal the underlying cause.”
Sessions available in person on the Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia and online worldwide.
