Grief is a Vessel

Grief is a Vessel

Grief is a vessel that carries you through your transition keeping you safe.  A very profound and powerful perception of grief, imagine instead of feeling you have a process you need to go through, milestones you need to meet you can just feel held.

Held moment to moment, knowing within your vessel is everything you need to move through your transition.  Grief is a transition, you are adjusting to a new normal.

On the podcast alongside sharing with you the concept of viewing your grief as a gift and what you can put in your vessel to aid you in your transition, I also share a beautiful meditation to help you envision and stock up your vessel with everything you need.  Click below to listen.

When you hear or talk about grief I am sure the first thing that comes to mind is the loss of a loved one, but what is important to acknowledge is:

Grief is the loss of anything that you held dear and was an integral part of your life.

That can be so many things within your life, in the times we are in right now there is a lot of people experiencing grief even if they don’t acknowledge it.  As an empath you may be feeling that collective energy and not necessarily understand what that feeling is.

So many people have been displaced, lost their jobs and of course the loss of loved ones as well on the top of that list.  They are now in a place of having to grieve for the loss of the life they thought they would have and did have only a few short months ago.

There have been times in my life where grief was apparent and where I learned that grief is not only about the loss of a loved one.  When my daughter was diagnosed with a chronic lifelong condition a few years ago I really struggled and it wasn’t until I realised the missing piece to moving forward was grieving for what I had lost.

I needed to grieve for the life I thought I would have and grieve for the life I thought she would have.  This was my turning point, as soon as I acknowledged the grief and gave myself the time to adjust, to grieve and to integrate this experience I was then really able to start to move forward with new plans and new vision for our life.

Another example was the loss of one of our children through a miscarriage, our little boy who would have been between my two girls and would be 17 years old now.  I never took the time to grieve, it didn’t feel acceptable back then, I just got on with life, not giving myself the time to acknowledge my loss and grieve for the life of our beautiful boy.

What I noticed was it really affected so many other areas of my life, because you really can’t go back to normal life after that, you need to grieve and integrate the experience.  I needed to spend some time in my vessel, feeling safe and secure until I was ready to transition back into normal life.

The vessel is your place, your safe space to move through your grieving process and yes it is your grieving process, it doesn’t need to be like anyone else does it, but exactly what you need and when you need it.

You may have noticed in the past people may have said to you, you need to grieve or you are in denial or the good ole you need to move through the five stages.  But you know what it doesn’t work that way, it is not like oh I’m angry, great I can tick that off my list.

Just like our healing journey it is not linear, there will be times where you need your vessel more and times where you need it less.  The importance is to know it is there and you can move back into it at any time, giving yourself the time and space you need to move through your transition.

Just like a caterpillar going into its cocoon where it stays until its wings are ready and emerges as a beautiful butterfly, it is the same for you, your vessel is your cocoon and you can stay in there as long as you need and only when you feel your wings are ready do you emerge.


Grief counselling is something I specialise in and if you are experiencing grief right now and would like to feel supported and having someone who can hear exactly what you are going through without turning away, I am your girl!

You can book your free online strategy session here, where we can talk about what you have been going through and I can share with you how we can work together.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

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