I Just Can’t Meditate
Have you said that to yourself or others?
Yes you! Don’t worry I’ve got your back, so many of my clients have said this to me when I set them homework of meditating every day. The look of fear on their face is priceless like I have asked them to give me their first born child. Don’t worry I will never ask for your first born child, I have two teenagers and my hands are already full with as much teenage attitude as I can take.
You lay down, close your eyes and all of a sudden you are thinking about the washing you haven’t done or the ironing piling up on the back of the couch and hang on a second did I leave the stove on, oh no it’s okay I haven’t cooked dinner yet. Oh man I really should be cooking dinner, instead of lying here trying to meditate, oh geez I am so bad at this meditating thing, I can’t even stop thinking. Sound familiar?
I get it and trust me I have been there so worried I was bad at meditating because I just can’t stop thinking and drive myself crazy trying to stop my thoughts and then I think about stopping my thoughts, a vicious cycle right?
It always reminds me of the saying “What You Resist Persists”, so resisting your thoughts or thinking actually causes you to think more. Very unhelpful when you are trying to have a nice quiet moment to yourself, very rare I know. So, what is the answer?
I have some great refreshing news for you, stopping your thoughts is very unrealistic, you have over 100,000 thoughts every day so no matter how hard you try you can’t stop them all. Instead of trying to stop them I want you to become an observer of your thoughts, where is your focus right now? What area of your life are your thoughts focusing in on?
That’s a big relief isn’t it, you get to just pay attention to what your thoughts are instead of trying to stop them. I always get my clients to look at it like a courtroom, you are the judge and there is a prosecutor and a defense attorney. You hear each side out and then you get to decide (judge) what you keep and what you toss out and this allows you great information to what is going on in your life and what affect your thoughts are having on your day-to-day life.
The other thing I like to share with my clients is meditation comes in all shapes and sizes, its not a one size fits all. What works for someone else may not work for you, you need to do what feels right to you and something you can fit into your schedule. I want you to think about just for a moment of an activity where you just completely lose yourself, time gets away from you and before you know it, the suns going down and the kids are yelling for dinner.
This is also a form of meditation because you are focusing on the task at hand, losing yourself in the moment and feeling a sense of joy and fulfillment. It’s bringing you out of the external world into your internal world and giving you a break from all the stress and overwhelm that life bestows upon you sometimes.
Follow after me – “I can meditate in my own way and in my own time”
Would you like to feel supported with your meditation? I work with clients 1-1 to support you in learning how to meditate and make it a part of your regular routine. www.nicoleivens.com/services