The human experience is certainly no joke, I ask myself many times “what were you thinking coming to Earth at this time?”
What we see as reality can be hard to stomach and this in and of itself is extremely challenging.
Our experience is asking so much of us right now, to look deeper, to trust in ourselves more and question what our physical eyes are seeing.
Recently I’ve had a very challenging experience that brought me to my knees more than once. It saw me questioning everything I thought I knew, about myself and about my faith.
My husband and I have been renting for the past 18 years and through that time I always felt safe, like we would always have a home.
We had been renting this one home for five years with no sign of that changing. Our landlord had owned the home from day 1 approx. 16 years, he lived overseas and never showed any interest in selling.
He renewed our lease with a small $10 week increase like each year before, all seemed fine until 1 short week later as I was taking my daughter to school and I received a phone call that took the wind out of my sails and shattered the ground below me.
It went like this “Hi Nicole this is Jo from Personalised Realty I need to inform you that your landlord has instructed us to put the property you are renting up for sale”.
To say the least I was gobsmacked, stating but we just signed a 12 month lease. Jo was yes I know we were unaware he was going to sell. Your lease will be honoured even when the house sells.
We had a little bit of breathing room and this was back in February 2021 and the rental market had already started to explode here in Queensland.
We started to look for a new home but the market was so crazy busy and expensive, we thought we have time, we will let it settle down. 😏
Why pay an extra $150 week for a year when we don’t have to, we have a lease for 12 months.
Fast forward about 10 months we start to look again and we soon realise the market is so much worse, so busy, so expensive.
We started applying for properties no matter the cost, telling myself it will be okay, we are always taken care of. The universe will provide for us like it always has.
Much to our surprise that wasn’t an option, we would not be approved on a property that cost more than 30% of our net income.
This whittled down the size of our property pool in our area and since we had lived there for the past five years, property prices had doubled in price and so did rental costs.
This meant I had to expand our search area outside of where we had been living and the place we had known for the past 12 years.
We applied for every property possible 100’s of applications and still nothing. We were 6 weeks away from our lease ending on the current property.
This is where my faith in the face of adversity entered, for the first time in my life I didn’t feel safe, homelessness was a very real possibility.
Looking at our realistic situation screamed at me, you are going to be homeless, you can’t protect your children.
Everywhere I looked was supporting this view and these beliefs, I was seeing families just like ours losing their homes and living in their cars.
I have a child with epilepsy, we can’t live in our car, this is ridiculous I would think to myself. We have the money to pay rent and we are going to be homeless, this is just wrong.
The stress I was carrying isn’t even something I can describe to you, unless of course you have been in a similar situation. Which sadly is becoming more common across Australia.
As a regular follower of Thrive with Nicole you would know I am a person of faith. Through this experience I questioned it all, I felt so unsupported by the universe, by my angels and by God.
I dropped to my knees so many times, balling my eyes out and begging God to help me to take care of my children, his children. I couldn’t do it alone I needed him to help me.
I remember one time in the early hours of the morning curled up in a ball on my bathroom floor just wailing and screaming that I can’t do this, this is too hard.
My reality was so bleak that all I could do was talk to God every minute of every day, pleading for an answer. Because I didn’t know what the answer was, I had no answers for the first time in my adult life.
Some moments I felt like it would be okay, it had to be and then other moments where I felt like it wasn’t. Looking with my physical eyes how could it possibly be okay.
I would have thoughts of the universe/God has always taken care of us, so we can’t possibly be homeless. I used to joke and say ‘homelessness is not part of my journey’.
As I would see it happening to others, I would lose faith, why would we be saved if those families aren’t.
Honestly I still struggle with the answer to that question, but that fits in so many things that happen here on earth. It is very similar to survivors guilt/grief.
All I could do was focus just on myself and my family, a foreign concept to me as a nurturer, I have always put others before me.
I put my blinders on and pulled on every spiritual tool, every self care tool, every counselling strategy to pull me through.
I made a decision that I feel was the turning point for me and that was:
”I am capable of making this happen”
For a lot of my adult life I have leaned into my angels, guides, ancestors and God to make things happen. Whilst this is great and you will know I do say to you to call in support, we still need to be in the drivers seat, they can’t do it for us.
I am a very capable person and I had to own that, looking back over my life I had experienced a lot, I had handled a lot and I had achieved a lot even in the face of adversity.
2014 was a year where we experienced both of our daughters having severe medical traumas. I got our family though that, if I could do that I could secure us a home.
So as I said this decision was a turning point for me and my family.
Only a few days later I was getting ready to meditate and I had the thought to check the app realestate.com.au. Not something I would normally do before meditating, not exactly congruent with relaxing.
The urge was so strong I decided to do it and right there at the very top of the page of listings was a house listed by our old agent, yes the one who made that phone call that took the wind out of my sails and crumbled my foundation.
I couldn’t believe it, I ran out of our bedroom downstairs to where my husband was sitting and showed him. He called her straight away, booked us in to see the house the next day and just two days later we had secured our new home.
Our new home where I am writing this blog from, turned out to be only $65 more week and double the size. It is a little further out than I wanted to live, but hey beats living in our car. 😏
I want to finish up this article with the message for you that faith will help you though the dark times by reminding you of the strength that you had all along.
I am sure my spirit team of supporters were and still are jumping for joy, that I have embodied my ability to achieve anything I set my mind to and in saying that I remember my grandmother used to always say that to me.
”Nicole you can achieve anything you set your mind to”
I guess she was right, thanks Mim.
How you can work with me on a deeper level:
I offer a free online 20 minute video consultation to give you the opportunity to talk about your unique challenges and I will share with you how I can support you.
You will walk away with a plan that will include your intentions and goals for our time together.