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What is Maladaptive Stress?

What is Maladaptive Stress?

The term maladaptive is the opposite of adaptive and the dictionary term is “not adjusting adequately or appropriately to the environment or situation.”

Whereas adaptive is described as “having an ability to change to suit changing conditions”.

Maladaptive stress comes from using coping methods that at first seem to work very well, for example avoiding something that causes you high levels of stress, anxiety or even an uncomfortable feeling.  Whilst you may no longer experience those uncomfortable feelings you will have to work hard to avoid the experience or anything similar to that first experience and enters maladaptive stress.

The stress of having to manage your life in a way that avoids any possible chance that you are going to feel that high level of stress or anxiety can be exhausting, overwhelming and a sense of sadness of missing out on living your life the way you truly want and deserve to.

What if you were able to adapt to the situation or experience and using coping methods for the high stress or anxiety?

Like a chameleon changing to suit the environment, it would allow you to step out of avoidance and into acceptance.  Acceptance of your ability to cope with any situation as you have the strategies and coping skills you need.

In a way maladaptive stress is something we swap for that initial stress and anxiety isn’t it?  It feels easier because it is of our choosing, we choose to do it in this way, to not do certain things due to previous experiences.

What if those choices means you have put yourself into your own self-imposed jail?  It is essentially living in a big castle with lots of different rooms, all decorated differently, but you have chosen to live only in the smallest room in the castle, as you know that room, every part of it, no part of that room can ever surprise you.

Whilst that room feels safe to you, it takes a lot of work and energy to stay inside that room and to not allow in any outside forces that would threaten or change that room and the comfort you feel within there.

So the question is do you want to continue to cope with your maladaptive stress and stay within the confines of your self-imposed jail or are you ready to step out and learn some new adaptive coping skills that will allow you to explore all there is for you to experience within your life?

If you are ready to step out I encourage you to give the following exercise a try:

Easy vs Reset Buttons

Easy buttons are the things you do that make you feel instantly better or a fake better but doesn’t last and can actually end up making you feel worse.

Reset buttons are the things you can do that will actually have a deeper affect on you and truly bring you a bigger and longer lasting feeling of peace and happiness.

I’ll share my easy and reset buttons and then I encourage you to write out your list.

Source: Glennon Doyle – Untamed

Now it is over to you, think about and write out your buttons and keep them in a place where you can refer to them in the times where you are likely to turn to the easy buttons.


When you are feeling ready to embark on your healing journey, I can help you!

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Work with me privately online.  Book your Online Appointment.


Brain fog

How to Deal with Brain Fog as an Empath

Does it feel sometimes like your brain is sitting behind a veil?

Brain fog is real thing that many empaths suffer from, it can feel like confusion and the inability to focus.  It has also been described as a feeling of just not being here, or off with the fairies is another term that has been used to describe the feeling.

In a world where we are continuously being told to practice mindfulness and meditation, not being able to just be present in the current moment and have the ability to concentrate can be extremely frustrating.

There are three parts of us that are contributing to this ‘brain fog’, mind, heart and body.  When all three of these are working in unison, you will feel grounded, balanced and wholly here in the present moment.

What reasons could there be as to why they are not working in unison?

Each part of you has its own job and sometimes those jobs can be in conflict with each other, for example the mind has its own idea of what needs to happen but that may differ from the yearning of the heart.

The body is a place of wisdom and holds the truth and the trauma of the sum of your experiences.

So if you are connecting with just one of those areas you will start to experience an imbalance and as the other areas work to be heard it can feel overwhelming and you may feel a sense of confusion.

Most people consistently operate from their mind, leaving out the wisdom of the body and the connectedness of the heart.  This will cause your body and your heart to become louder and louder, trying different things to attain your attention.

Can you imagine three parts of you, all using different signals to grab your attention at the same time?

It is no wonder that you are experiencing brain fog, confusion and an inability to focus in the present moment.  It reminds me as a mum when all the kids are vying for my attention at the same time, can anyone say ‘save me’?

So of course we want to bring these parts of you back into unison, but first we need to look at this from the unique perspective of being an empath.

As an empath you are very connected to the energy around you but also to higher planes of consciousness as well, and this can cause you to have an out of body experience.  This in and of itself can cause your brain to feel like it has been left behind and is essentially sitting behind a veil.

You are a spiritual being having an earthly experience and let’s get real, it is not an easy experience, earth isn’t exactly an easy place to inhabit as a sensitive being.  So you may be doing what you can to escape that uncomfortableness at every chance you get, elevating to the higher planes where you feel beautiful energy that aligns with yours perfectly.

Whilst this is an amazing gift that we have, to be able to elevate our energy to these beautiful higher realms, we did choose to come to earth at this time and we do have a job to do, lessons to learn for our soul.

So we do need to learn how to exist on this plane, on earth whether it is easy or not.  I can promise you the more time your consciousness spends on this plane, earth and implementing the strategies I am going to share with you, it will become easier and you will notice your brain fog, confusion and ability to focus improve.

5 Ways to Ground Your Energy to Earth

  1. It is time to renew your oath that you made before coming to earth.  “I {insert your name} pledge to come to planet earth, to learn my soul lessons, to support my soul mate family and raise the vibration of the planet”
  2. Daily practice to bring the consciousness of higher realms to you, instead of you feeling the need to shift your consciousness to the higher realms.  Connect with nature, barefoot on the earth is a wonderful way to ground your energy to mother earth, to connect with her, to bring the support and guidance from the higher realms that you need.
  3. Golden Shower.  As empaths we tend to pick up and absorb the energies around us from both environments and people, so it is imperative that you are cleansing that energy from your aura and physical body.  The golden shower is a wonderful way to do just that, standing under the water, envision the water falling is a golden waterfall and it is cleansing all of the energy you have picked up throughout the day.
  4. Angel Mist.  An aura spray is a wonderful product to carry with you, so anytime you feel a disconnection or you have picked up energy from others, this amazing spray will cleanse you in the moment.  Giving you the opportunity to feel present and the ability to focus in the moment.  Click here to purchase your own Angel Mist Spray.
  5. Meditation.  Sitting quietly and just envisioning the white light coming in through your crown chakra, bringing in the light codes and guidance from the higher realms, allowing you to still receive exactly what you need without having to feel ungrounded, confused, lost and unable to focus in the moment.

 

 

Now of course it is wonderful to visit the higher realms and our ability to do that is such a gift and I am not saying you shouldn’t be doing that, what I am suggesting is that if it is starting to affect your day to day life, then it may be important to look at the reason why you are spending more time in the higher realms.

 

I would love to hear how this article has resonated with you and your experience as an empath.  Comment below, you never know who your experience may help.


I specialise in supporting Empaths and Highly Sensitive Souls, if you are finding it hard to cope with your sensitivity, I would love to help you.  Helping you to embrace the super power that is your sensitivity and knowing it is your gift and how you can use it to support yourself.  Book your session here.


Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

 

 

How to Boost Your Immune System

How to Boost Your Immune System

How To Boost Your Immune System

 

This is a topic and question on everyone’s mind right now on a global scale, how can I boost my immunity?  I know for me when this global pandemic started my first thoughts went to how am I going to keep my girls safe, especially my eldest who is immunocompromised.

We went through all the normal steps that were being recommended by medical experts, social distancing, personal hygiene, hand sanitizer and vitamin supplements.

As an energy healer I was very aware that there was more too it, there were other things that had the capacity to be lowering our immunity.

According to the Centre for Disease Control (CDC) there is and emotional component in 85% of all illnesses.

Stress and anxiety can have a huge impact on your physical health, especially chronic levels and during this time there is unprecedented levels of stress in people on a global scale.

To add to that is not only your own stress and anxiety, but what you as an Empath are feeling from not only those in your physical presence but the overwhelming vibration of our planet right now.

You may look at your own circumstances and feel you know what it’s okay, I am doing fine, yet still experiencing a low grade anxiety.  The issue I have noticed with that is, when it is your own stress and anxiety you can use your coping tools but when its coming from something you know nothing about, now that is challenging.

Just the awareness of the vibration that the planet is operating at right now can be a huge help to you, knowing that you may feel a low grade anxiety that is not yours helps you to cope.

Connecting in with your cosmic team and always asking the question “is this mine?” If not ask them to release it from your auric field.  Due to the high levels of anxiety right now, it is important to add this to your tool box and use it regularly.

Lets look at how stress effects your immune system:

“Since emotions run every system in the body, don’t underestimate their power to treat and heal” – Dr Candace Pert

What we think and what we tell ourselves can either support or undermine our health.  Because the immune system is so sensitive to thoughts, emotions, and subtle energies, energy healing can be an extremely useful tool in supporting wellness, fighting illness and speeding healing.


According to Neuroscientist Dr Joe Dispenza – You can read full article here

How to Boost Your Immune System

“As people begin to overcome emotional states that keep them connected to past experiences—as they break out of redundant habits and automatic programs, as well as change certain self-destructive attitudes and beliefs—aspects of their immune system up-regulate genes. This means that their thoughts and feelings are signaling cells within the body’s internal defense system to turn on healthy genes to make better proteins—otherwise known as healthy anti-bodies—as well as a host of other beneficial chemicals to balance and regulate the body. This process in turn reduces inflammation, suppresses tumors, mobilizes enzymes, and so on.

So the next time you sit down to create a better life, a healthier body, or a new experience, just remember that your brain and body have never been separate and the bridge between them is your immune system. You see, your body has always been spying on your brain. So why not use your nervous system—the greatest pharmacist ever—to activate your body’s internal army to create order for you every day? You don’t even need a prescription.”


Understanding the effect of stress on your physical body is the first step but as we all know stress is a constant in all of our lives.  So the important thing is to learn how to navigate it in your life, finding, understanding and implementing coping tools that help to reduce your stress levels.

EFT has been shown through scientific studies to have a great effect both on lowering stress levels but also the physical effects of stress on the body, including the immune system.  The following physical improvements have been recorded:

  • Lowers your blood pressure
  • Boosts your immune system
  • Reduces inflammation
  • Lowers your level of stress hormones
  • Boosts your metabolism
  • Counters aging
  • Improves your resting heart rate
  • Helps your cells fight cancer
  • Counters insulin resistance
  • Improves your neural signaling
  • Counters autoimmune disease
  • Strengthens your cell membranes
  • Reduces oxidative stress

How to Boost Your Immune System

EFT Tapping has been scientifically proven to rewire the brain to bring both the body and mind back into balance!

“The most revealing studies of the physiological aspects of EFT have examined its epigenetic effects. A population of veterans with PTSD received 10 EFT sessions. It found regulation of 6 genes associated with inflammation and immunity. A pilot study comparing an hour-long EFT session with placebo in 4 nonclinical participants found differential expression in 72 genes. These included genes associated with the suppression of cancer tumors, protection against ultraviolet radiation, regulation of type 2 diabetes insulin resistance, immunity from opportunistic infections, antiviral activity, synaptic connectivity between neurons, synthesis of both red and white blood cells, enhancement of male fertility, building white matter in the brain, metabolic regulation, neural plasticity, reinforcement of cell membranes, and the reduction of oxidative stress. The broad function of this suite of genes is similar to that found in Church et al, confirming the association of EFT with the downregulation of inflammation and stress markers and the upregulation of immune markers.”  You can read the full scientific study here

Whilst seeing the scientific studies is needed and fantastic to see, I have found both my own personal experience and those of my clients is the most powerful. Just a short three years ago I was very unwell physically after many years of chronic stress levels due to my daughters seizures.

Through the use of EFT to navigate my stress levels, I was able to not only cope with what I needed to deal with I was able to heal events, memories and words of my past that were having a large impact on my body.

I went from getting sick all the time, a new cold or infection every week to feeling well and not catching any colds or infections.  I was amazed to see the difference in how I was feeling just by healing emotionally.

“Our emotional wellbeing has a massive effect on our physical wellbeing” – Nicole Ivens


To start to learn how to navigate your stress and anxiety levels and learn the wonderful and effective technique of EFT, you can book your session here.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

The Three Ingredients you need to let go

The Three Ingredients You Need to Let Go

The Three Ingredients You Need to Let Go

The three ingredients you need to let go

I am sure you have been told time and time again “you just need to let go”, I know I have heard those words more times than I care to count.

It may also have been worded in such a way that made you feel there was something wrong with you, like “you need to get over it” or “build a bridge” is another one I have heard.

Now if you are anything like me you may have been left feeling unheard, misunderstood and maybe even a nuisance to those around you.

I am here to tell you with the assistance of Archangel Azrael, there is a process to letting go and there are certain things that need to happen before you can “just let go”.

Archangel Azrael

On the podcast alongside the three ingredients you need to let go, the difference between walking away and letting go, I also share my very own personal experience of letting go of a 20 year relationship. Click below to listen.


 

Let’s talk about the three ingredients that you need to let go:

1.Heal 2.Grow 3.Let Go

So as you can see the process of letting go isn’t as easy or simple as people in your life and influence may have made out.

To ever have a hope of letting go of something that has caused you pain in some shape or form, you need to take the time to heal.

If you think about a physical injury, one that can be seen by the naked eye, are you ever told to get over it or let it go?  Of course not, because they can see the pain.

Emotional pain like chronic pain and invisible illnesses that can’t be seen by the naked eye, it can cause people to want you to just move on.

Now the kicker here is something that I really want you to understand, this isn’t about you.  This is about them and the uncomfortable feeling they are experiencing in not being able to soothe your hurt, to make you feel better to heal you.

So now you understand that part is not about you, lets chat about the part that is……the healing is your part, your responsibility.  Its giving yourself the time to heal, to work through the pain you have experienced and able to integrate it into your experience, where it no longer causes you pain in the present.

Note: This isn’t about letting anyone but yourself off the hook.

Through this process of healing you won’t have a choice but to grow, as you heal from the experience you are going to grow, you are going to learn things about yourself that you didn’t know before – aka growth.

One of the biggest parts of being on Earth at this time is for your soul to learn lessons and for the most part unfortunately those lessons come with pain.  Your role is to move through the experience, heal what you went through, take the lesson and then yes then and only then are you ready to let go.

These three ingredients are your key to starting to let go of things, people and experiences that have caused you pain and are still carrying it around.  Pain is heavy, whether that is physical or emotional, it is exhausting.

If you are ready to heal, grow and let go then its time for you to book your free call.  You can book it right here and I will share with you how I can support you as you start on your healing journey and let go of all of that pain that is weighing you down and leaving you feeling exhausted.


Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

surrender

Surrender your Stranglehold on the Universe

“All we have is this moment, yesterday is gone and tomorrow is yet to arrive”

 

Surrender

The attempt and effort to control each moment is an exercise in futility, there are way too many forces at play at any given moment to have full control over anything.  As you do make this attempt instead of gaining the outcome you are looking for, you are in actual fact, cutting off the flow from the Universe.

 


Surrendering to each and every moment, releases anxiety and worry, in this moment you can breathe.  You can handle this moment!  Surrendering is letting go of control, relinquishing the idea that all you have is your own power that there is no-one else.

You can handle this moment! 

In a place of control you are cutting off the power of the universe, a stranglehold on your life and then wondering why it’s not working out how you envisioned.  It reminds me of a saying:

“If you love something, let it go and if it returns, it is yours forever”

surrender

Whilst surrendering and letting go is frightening, the immense relief you will feel is more than worth the moment of fear.  Remember as a child you didn’t have to worry how things happened,  you could rely on a bigger power – Your Parents.

It is no different now, there is a bigger infinite power at play – The Universe.  You just need to trust in her, like you trusted in your parents to never lead you astray.

When we are continuously worrying about things, whether it’s about what has been or what has yet to come, it’s like we are really putting a stranglehold on the Universe.  Not allowing it to flow through us because we are strangling it, strangling it with worry, strangling it with anxiety and strangling it with stress.

If we can surrender to the current moment, surrender to right now that is like us just releasing that stranglehold.  It is allowing us to really trust in the Universe, trusting that she knows what we need in each and every moment, trusting that she will provide for us in each and every moment, financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Providing us with everything we need in each and every moment, imagine living from that place, how different would your life look if you did that?  If you just surrendered, surrendered to each moment, not worrying about what has been, not worrying about what is yet to come, just surrender to NOW.

Having unwavering faith and unwavering trust, that everything you need is going to flow to you.  In actual fact what we have been doing by having the stranglehold is not allowing those things to flow to us, we are really putting a kink in it, making it extremely hard for information, guidance and physical items to flow through to us.

Just like when you put a kink in a hose, the water just stops flowing doesn’t it, there is no where for it to go, it certainly can’t flow through to the end of the hose.

surrender

 

All the Universe wants is to flow through you, your source is infinite, so you are infinite.  We are all connected, so if we can allow ourselves to be in the present moment to surrender to that, to lean in to that then things are going to flow with so much ease.  There won’t be that constriction, there won’t be that kink, it is just going to flow very easily.

“Have unwavering faith and unwavering trust, that everything you need is going to flow to you”

Take on the challenge of surrendering to each and every moment, letting go of the past and not worrying about the future.  How much will you surrender to the current moment?

To feel supported as you learn to live in this new way, our Mystical Membership is the perfect place for you to start to explore, Your Way and Your Path.  You can learn more here.

The Traits of an Empath

The Traits of an Empath

The Traits of an Empath

Have you ever wondered why you feel different to those around you?

Noticing that you experience the world in a different way, feel more sensitive to the energy of your environment and people around you, well you may in fact like me be an Empath.  I am going to take you through 27 different traits of an empath that will explain to you why you feel they way you do.

 

1. Knowing

Have you felt like you just know things without being told?  You just know something when you probably shouldn’t know it, and I feel this goes even deeper than intuition, it is just a real knowingness, deep in your core.  Coming from our ability to sense energy and being highly attuned.

2. Being in public places can be overwhelming

This is a big one for empaths, it can feel so overwhelming.  When you think about going shopping, attending sports event or concert, you feel all the energies coming at you at once.  This can feel so overwhelming and confusing, as  you have so many different energies and emotions coming at you.  You may find yourself feeling extremely tired and exhausted after only a short time in the space of other people and energy.

3. Feeling the emotions of others

You feel how other people are feeling and this can lead to confusion once again because it can be hard to determine and differentiate between your own feelings and those of other people that you are picking up.  You are absorbing the emotions of others and thinking that they belong to you, so think about a time where you have really noticed your mood change for no apparent reason.  This is due to you absorbing the emotion of another person and taking it on as your own.

4. Watching violence on TV

This one affects me as an Empath on quite a deep level.  Have you noticed when you are watching TV, it may be the news or just a drama, thriller or horror movie and start to feel the affects of what the actor is experiencing.  This is another sign that you are an Empath, as you are literally soaking up the emotions of the person on the TV be that real or fiction.

The traits of an empath

5. You know when someone is being dishonest

As an empath you are like a human lie-detector, you just know when someone isn’t being truthful with you, whether its a white lie or a big whopper they are trying to pull over on you.  This can be a challenging one especially in relationships, is this something that you have noticed?

6. Picking up physical symptoms off others

You may notice when you are around other people all of a sudden you notice a physical ailment, such as a headache or stomach pain or any physical pain really.  This is you absorbing the energy off others and taking on their physical pain.  This is one to be aware of and learning how to release that energy aka physical pain back to its owner.

7. Digestive disorders and lower back problems

As we pick up the energy of emotions of others, it can really cause you to suffer with these issues due to your system being weakened.  Lower back problems are connected to you being ungrounded and that’s why as an empath its super important to have a routine of keeping yourself grounded, allowing you to cope with the energies and emotions coming at you from others.

8. Always advocating for other people, especially those in need.

Empaths can sense those in need, zone in on those who are in need of your support and protection.  It really comes from our strong compassion and we can’t help but step in and help and advocate for them.

9. Others will tell you their life story

You may have noticed that people just open up to you really easily, even strangers, you may be at the supermarket and next thing you know the cashier is telling you their life story and you now probably know way more about them than you needed to.  We tend to become a dumping ground for others problems, as we are very compassionate and with our open hearts people just feel comfortable off loading on us.

10. Feeling tired and exhausted all the time

Feeling fatigue constantly comes from taking on the energy of others all the time, as an empath you are like a sponge, just soaking up all the energy around you.  This is why its so important to take time for yourself, away from others, having that quiet time and that is ok.

11. Addictive Personality

To cope with absorbing the energy of others we turn to a drug of sorts to help protect us against the pain we are experiencing, especially when we don’t know what it is they we are protecting against.  The addiction may be food (my drug of choice), alcohol, drugs or even shopping (which can be a double edged sword with shopping equaling people), each of these distracts you and protects you from all the energy and emotions coming at you.  Good news is once you learn about being a empath and learn the coping skills you can become reformed on your drug of choice, such as emotional eating for me.  I am now a recovering emotional eater.

12. Healing and Holistic Therapies resonate with you on a deep level

You may feel you radiate towards energy healing in different shapes and forms, this is all part of your path as an empath being drawn to and resonating with healing modalities that are going to support your gift as an empath.  For me I was very drawn and resonated with the Law of Attraction, oracle cards and Emotional Freedom Techniques.  What do you feel drawn to or resonate with?

13. Creative Flair

Empaths tend to express themselves in a creative way and even more than that it is an important outlet for the energy they have absorbed, as I was talking about in trait #11, this is a more healthy way of releasing energies and emotions from others.  I know sometimes when I say creative, people feel like no I am not creative at all, but the fact is, we all are in one way or another.  You have the obvious creative paths like dancing, singing, painting etc but then there are other not so obvious ways such as thinking in more creative ways about a problem, re-organising your space (empaths love this).

14. A love of nature and animals

Nature is a real solace for empaths, it is where we go to balance, ground and rejuvenate our energy.  You may notice you just feel so calm when you are in nature and whilst you’re there notice animals are attracted to you.

15. Need for alone time and solitude

As an empath it is so important to have your down time, you may notice if you don’t get alone time you start to feel exhausted, overwhelmed, confused and lost.  Taking time out is #1 important task for an empath.

16. Get bored very easily

You may notice you get bored very easily if you are not doing something that really stimulates you.  When an empath becomes un-stimulated that is when you may find yourself daydreaming or doodling and really not paying attention, not the best thing at work or school.

17. Find it hard to do things you don’t enjoy

I have noticed this one within myself, its a real struggle to do things I don’t enjoy and one of those things is small talk.  It just really doesn’t do it for me and feels like a waste of time and energy.  Have you noticed that within yourself?  Bring me a deep conversation and I’m all in, just don’t talk to me about the weather.

18. Truth is so important, a real deep core value

As empaths truth is so important, honesty for me is a top deep core value, I don’t cope well with people that are not being truthful.  As in an earlier trait #5 we know when people are being dishonest and this explains why we find this so difficult.

19. Always on the search for more knowledge, wisdom and answers

An empath is always on the search for answers and if they are not given a good explanation they have to keep searching until they feel comfortable with the answer or it resonates with them on a deep level.   As I mentioned in an earlier trait #1 when an empath has a knowingness they will search for confirmation on what they know to be true.

20. Adventure and travel is an empaths soul food

Travel, freedom and adventure is so important as an empath, we need to have a lifestyle that allows this to happen on a regular basis otherwise it can start to feel like in trait #15 no alone time, a sense of overwhelm, exhaustion and a bit like a trapped animal that wants to roam free.

21. A dislike of clutter

This is something that empaths really can’t handle, clutter, we need to have a nice clean, organised and crisp space that is cleansed of any negative energy.  I know for me I am always de-cluttering and re-organising our home and I just love that feeling when our space is clear of clutter and cleansed of any negative and stuck energy.

22. A love of daydreaming

Does this sound like you?  Finding yourself off with the fairies, daydreaming the time away.  Yes me too, my husband used to call it “she’s zoned out again”, this is a great sign that you are an empath, a love of daydreaming.

23. Great listener

As empaths our sensitivity makes us great listeners, we don’t just hear the words, but we notice the body language and of course sense the energy behind the words.  Making us great listeners and explains trait #9 why others tell us their life stories.

24. Struggle to cope with narcissism

This is something that unfortunately empaths have to deal with quite a lot, as people that have narcissistic tendencies actually seek out those that are empaths.  Yet empaths detest narcissism, so it can be a real challenge to deal with these people when they are craving you and you just want them to get out of your space and take their narcissistic energy with them.

25. Antique furniture is a no-go

Like in many of the traits above where I have talked about the absorbing of energy, this is no different, we tend to not like antique or pre-owned furniture because we feel what the previous owner was feeling when they were in contact with the furniture.  For me I also avoid library books for the same reason otherwise I am flooded with the energy and emotions of the previous reader/s.

26. Sense the energy of food

Have you noticed some foods affect your body in strange ways?  This can be a sign that you are an empath and picking up on the energy and emotion of the animal, especially if it is a meat product.  Pay attention to this and make adjustments if needed.

27. Appearing moody, shy or disconnected

Like I mentioned earlier in trait #22 my husband thinking I was zoning out, this is how we can come across due to different reasons, maybe we are daydreaming or maybe we are distancing ourselves as a form of self-protection and this can come across as us being in a bad mood, or shy or sometimes even arrogant.  A cross we bear as an empath and trying to have a balance between protecting ourselves and still being available for others.

Well done on getting to the end of our 27 traits you are an Empath!  So how many did you resonate with?  I would love to hear, you can comment below.


Nicole Ivens | Nurtured Empath Academy


 

Energy of the Week ~ Ask Your Angels Episode 16

ASK YOUR ANGELS ~ EPISODE 16

Energy of the week for 18th-24th November 2019

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.

Ask Your Angels Episode 16

 

Your Guidance Revealed

Ask Your Angels Episode 16

Card 1:

Your guidance starts at 2:16 in the video below.

No Need To Worry – It’s time to hop off the worry wagon, chronic worrying can become a way of life, your brain can become wired to worry even when there isn’t anything to necessarily worry about.  I remember seeing a post on social media that said “I stress about stress before there is anything to stress about”, this is a good example of what is happening for you right now.  Your angels are asking you to step back, they are showing me a guard, you know like the ones at Buckingham Palace, never moving or relaxing even for a moment, they are saying this is you right now.  There is a fear if you relax or let go even for a moment something might happen and you are like “not on my watch”, they want you to know they have your back, you can step down, take your hand of the reigns and breathe.

As you take this time to breathe, you will open up space for guidance to come through to show you new ways to be, that help to reduce your minds state of constant worry even before there is something to worry about.

Card 2:

Your guidance starts at 4:40 in the video below

It’s up to You – This is one card that I know you hate and you know what so do I, but it is a card of empowerment, your angels want you to know you have the power my dear.  Showing me a vision of “The Wizard of Oz”, when the good witch tells Dorothy “You always had the power my dear”.  As you start to believe this and believe in yourself, then you will see how much of your life really is up to you and  you can start to make decisions and take action from a place of empowerment, of choosing what it is you truly want for your life.

How amazing is that feeling, to know life is there for the taking, you can take the reigns and say we are going here today and its going to be a beautiful calm and relaxing experience.

Card 3:

Your guidance starts at 6:25 in the video below

Abundance – The world is your oyster, you just need to decide to be open to the possibilities.  You are receiving this message because you have asked for guidance and your angels want you to know that a bit like Card 2, it is up to you.  The experiences we have in our life all comes down to the level of our energy, are you ready to uplevel your energy and change your results and the reality you are seeing, are you ready to say yes I am open to new possibilities and opportunities?

Your Angels want to remind you that you are extremely powerful,  your energy can bring you all that you desire once you are open to it.  Also want to remind you that Abundance and Prosperity is at your fingertips, but you need to remember its not an action but a feeling.  The thoughts that you think, cause the feelings that you emit and produce the results you are seeing.  So as you change your thoughts aka ready for opportunities, your feelings uplevel aka your energy and BAM check out the great results and new reality you experience.

Card 4:

Your guidance starts at 9:03 in the video below

Compromise – Oh dear well haven’t you been compromising a little too much lately, allowing others to take the lead and have the limelight.  Its time to bring yourself back to the top, to use that voice and stand your ground a little more.  You my lovely deserve that, you deserve to be heard, you deserve time, you deserve love and friendship that is balanced.  Your angels are showing me that you are standing back taking behaviour that you know is not right, you know that feeling in your gut that is telling you “Hmm that doesn’t feel right”, yet you brush it off, feeling like its just you, maybe your too sensitive, maybe they didn’t mean it that way.

You my dear deserve better and you know this on a deep level, your sensitive energy is not something you need to explain away.  Listen to that gut feeling and start little by little to make some ground by setting boundaries and teaching those how you deserve to be treated.

 

You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, comment right here on the blog.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.


 

Nicole Ivens | Gold Coast Counsellor

 


I offer 1-1 Local & Online Holistic Counselling to support you in Mind, Body & Spirit, Book your Complimentary Discovery Session Here.

Energy of the Week ~ Ask Your Angels Episode 14

ASK YOUR ANGELS ~ EPISODE 14

Energy of the week for 4th-10th November 2019

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.

Ask your Angels Episode 14

 

Your Guidance Revealed

Ask your Angels Episode 14

Card 1:

Your guidance starts at 2:00 in the video below.

Thankful – When things are going wrong the best thing you can do to shift your energy and results and what you are seeing is gratitude, I know that probably sounds counter-intuitive and maybe even impossible when you are experiencing hardship, but it will actually help to shift your focus from what is going wrong allowing you to receive guidance on creative ideas to assist you.   A statement I heard the other day was “Rejection is the best form of Guidance”, I thought wow yeah that is so true, how many times have there been where you were set on doing something, whether it be a new job, a business idea, or maybe even a holiday and then it doesn’t work out, but down the track you become so thankful for that rejection as what eventuated was so much better than you could have imagined for yourself.

This week its all about finding the good within the bad, what can you find to be thankful for in the moment, it can be as simple as nice weather, or a smile from a stranger or the rejection that brought you something so much better.

If you would like me to prompt you each day to think about something to be grateful for, let me know by commenting below and I’ll start doing that for you over on Facebook.

 

Card 2:

Your guidance starts at 4:00 in the video below

You’ll know in the morning – Your angels are guiding that before going to sleep at night lately, your mind has been full of so much worry and concern and this is stopping you from getting deep rest – sound familiar?  No matter how much you think about it, worry about, have angst around it, this is not going to bring resolultion, you know what will?  Feeling rested, your vessel being full and in the morning when you feel rested and rejuvenated the creative ideas to your problem will magically appear, all of a sudden you will have a solution.  All the worrying in the world will not bring that to fruition, only stopping, being quiet aka deep rest will bring you to this place.

I’m sure you are thinking great, how do I do that?  Well you are going to write it all out on paper or in your journal before your head hits the pillow, a brain dump if you will.  As you put it out on paper and the air hits it, it won’t seem as bad as what your mind was telling you, and puts a pin in it getting worse, gaining momentum.  So that is your job this week, every night before bed, I want you to be journaling all that you are thinking and worrying about.

If you would like a journal prompt, comment below and I will do that for you over on Facebook.

Card 3:

Your guidance starts at 6:24 in the video below

Curiosity – You wonder what is next for you, unsure what to do, unsure where to go and feel like you are just going around in circles in your mind.  Your angels are guiding the way forward for you right now is through your curiosity, trying new things, seeing how they feel and knowing if they are right for you.  There is no failure in trying new things, so what if they don’t work out, then try something different.  Our spiritual path is all about stepping outside of our comfort zone (that the ego has made us feel is the place to stay), learning new things, gaining new knowledge and wisdom and re-awakening to the truths our soul already knows.  You know when you learn something new or have a new experience and you get what I call angel chills (goosebumps all over), that is your soul showing you that this is truth, truth you already knew but forgot as you entered you current vessel in this lifetime.

So your goal for this week is to try something new, something that makes you a little frightened and gets you out of your comfort zone.  Comment below and let me know what you are going to do this week.

Card 4:

Your guidance starts at 8:20 in the video below

Listen to your true feelings – You know the answer, it is within you if you just listen and trust.  As humans we tend to look outside of ourselves for the answers, asking this person and then that person and maybe a few more people too and then end up feeling so lost and confused.  It is no wonder because no person knows you like you do, even if they say “I know you better than you do”, they don’t, all they know is what you have chosen to show them.  You are the only person on this earth that knows you truly, knows your truth and knows what is right for you in each and every moment.

Your role this week is to “TRUST” trust your feelings and you know what you already started by choosing this card, no one else chose this card for you, so you are well on your way, now its time to keep it up for this week and every week to come.  Comment below with the word “TRUST” to let me know and honour your gift of intuition.

 

You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, comment right here on the blog.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.


 

Nicole Ivens | Gold Coast Counsellor

 


I offer 1-1 Local & Online Holistic Counselling to support you in Mind, Body & Spirit, Book your Complimentary Discovery Session Here.


 

Energy of the Week ~ Ask Your Angels Episode 13

ASK YOUR ANGELS ~ EPISODE 13

Energy of the week for 28th October – 3rd November 2019

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.

Energy of the Week - Ask your Angels Episode 13

 

Your Guidance Revealed

Energy of the Week - Ask Your Angels Episode 13

Card 1:

Your guidance starts at 1:50 in the video below.

Surrender to Setting Limits – As sensitive souls and empaths boundaries are one of the most important things you can do to protect your energy, and also one of the hardest things you will ever have to do.  As an empath and sensitive soul it is our purpose to help others, so having to set boundaries can be both hard and scary at the same time, thoughts of who will I be without being there for everyone all of the time and what will people think are sure to bubble to the surface.

What I would like you to think about is the times where you feel really energised and what that means for the energy you are putting out into the world and then when you are depleted what energy is being received by the world.  Another way to consider enforcing boundaries is how you view others that have boundaries, what do you think about them?  I am sure it isn’t anything bad, if anything you probably envy their ability to do that.

With all that in mind, how do you feel now about placing some boundaries to protect your beautiful sensitive energy?  Let me know in the comments below, I would love to hear your experience and I can then offer you some support in putting your boundaries in place guilt free.

 

Card 2:

Your guidance starts at 3:34 in the video below

Surrender the Habit of People Pleasing – This is a habit that many sensitive souls aka helpers and nurturers tend to have, we love to be able to help others and in that we can get stuck in the habit of doing exactly what they want to make them happy.  The problem with that is it can cause others to never actually be able to get to know us, because all we are ever doing is what they want and it really leaves no room for your beautiful unique light and gifts to shine.

Now people pleasing isn’t something you just stop doing, it is more of a recovery, “Hi I’m Nicole and I’m a recovering People Pleaser”.  Little by little you can adjust your behaviour, not doing things for people just to please them, not holding back when you know there are either words or actions that would really help this person on a deeper level.  Trust me as you start to do this, what you feel and experience will be so much more and benefit you so much more on a soul level.

You will soon notice the adjustment of others behaviour towards you as well, they will be coming to you because they know you can really help them on such a deep growth level as opposed to “oh she will just do this for me”.

How does starting to reduce your habit of people pleasing, are you ready to join me in recovery as a people pleaser?  Comment below and let me know what your experience is and how you feel about starting to make changes?  I can then support you with ways to help in your recovery.

Card 3:

Your guidance starts at 5:32 in the video below

Surrender Fear – Fear is something we all have at one time or another and about different things, sometimes fear can be a good thing keeping you safe in times of perceived danger.  The issue comes when that perceived fear is just that, not actual danger, but something due to past experiences in your life making your primitive brain feel like you are in danger.  This is when your body will react within 3 secs of the perceived danger putting you into fight, flight or freeze mode, your conscious mind always takes a little longer to click to what is happening and then confusion sets in, to what is actually happening.

It can be very easy to just allow fear to be in the drivers seat, follow its lead and stop whatever you were attempting to do that your primitive brain felt was a danger.  Whilst that’s all fine and good, its really sucks when it starts to really affect your life on a deeper level, stopping you from really living your destined life and your angels feel sad when they see fear holding you back as they can see what is possible for you and your potential, they are asking you to allow them to help you in times of fear, call them in and ask them to help you to feel calmer and to understand the purpose of your fear mind.

Let me know by commenting below how fear is showing up in your life and then I can provide you with extra support on ways to combat your fear and connect in with the power of your angels.

Card 4:

Your guidance starts at 7:16 in the video below

Surrender Stress – Similar to card #3 stress is something else we all deal with and can also be helpful in times of getting you motivated and moving on a task, idea or your life purpose.  It is when you are experiencing chronic stress that its time to release it and find new and more helpful ways to cope with what you are experiencing in your life.  From personal experience I know what chronic stress can do to your body, I was under chronic stress for about 3 years after the diagnosis of my daughter with epilepsy and it had really been taking a toll on my body causing me to have injuries and also adrenal fatigue.

So I can tell you how important it is for you to surrender stress, to find other ways to ensure no matter what is happening you are not allowing the experience or circumstances to leave you in a place of stress 24/7.  Again like card #3 your angels are asking you to call on them, bring them in when you need support to cope with a difficult situation or experience, they love to be able to help you and can bring you such peace.

Let me know by commenting below how you deal with stress in your life and I can provide extra support and teach you new ways you may not of thought of or known about to help you in reducing your stress.

 

You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, comment right here on the blog.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.

Nicole Ivens | EFT Gold Coast

I offer 1-1 Local & Online Holistic Counselling to support you in Mind, Body & Spirit, Book your Complimentary Discovery Session Here.

Stress Busters For Mums

In my opinion there is one role we choose to take on as women and it is the most difficult, yet the most profound, growth provoking and fulfilling.  You got it, our role as a mother, one day all of a sudden we are responsible for this little human, with no guidelines and no rule book or manual to speak of.

Can you imagine starting a new job and being thrown in the deep end with no instructions, help or flotation devices to speak of.  Just wouldn’t happen right, hello HR we have a problem.

So of course mums experience different levels of stress throughout their child’s life, I’m just learning now with teenagers, one nearly 18, it doesn’t get better, or worry less, it’s just different.

“The older they get, the bigger the age number, the bigger the problems”

Stress Busters for Mums

 

So let’s look at some strategies aka Stress Busters For Mums to help you through some of those stressful periods as a Mum.

  1. Breathe

Breath work is very powerful in lowering your stress levels, helping you to self-regulate your emotions and then respond in a more calm manner.  Ensuring you are breathing deeply, in through your nose and out through your mouth.  Note: Shallow breathing will cause your anxiety to spike, in turn making your stress levels worse.

2. No comparing

STOP comparing yourself to other women and other mothers, even your own.  You are not them and they are not you, also they don’t have your children, they don’t know your children like you do.  You know what your children need, comparing yourself to others is only going to bring more misery and possibly trigger you in ways of self-worth and self-confidence.  You are doing your very best and that is Enough!

3. Adult Time Out

You need some time-out, time to just breathe (see strategy #1), to tend to your needs without being pulled in a thousand different directions.  Time out for you will be different for time out for me or any other woman, you do you and let others do them.  If you could take an “Adult Time Out”, what would that look like for you?

Taking a time out is not neglecting your children or your role as a mum, you are doing it for them not to them.  A calm and relaxed mum is way more fruitful for your children than an exhausted, stressed and overwhelmed mum.

4. Emotion Regulation

You are human despite you proving otherwise with your amazing skills at being in a million places at once and being everything to everyone.  So yes you have needs and you have emotions that need tending to, emotion regulation is going to help you to feel calm within the chaos that is life as a mum.  Along with the first three strategies this is important in keeping you grounded and allowing you to cope with life’s hard knocks.

EFT or Tapping is a great modality to be using to help you self-regulate (you can teach it to your kids too), its easy to learn and very effective at lowering both yours and your children’s stress levels.  In my mind a calm mum is a calm child and a calm child is a calm mum.  Check out the video below where I take you through a quick process of what EFT or Tapping is and how you can use it in your life.

 

 

I hope you enjoy trying out these stress busters for mums, I would love to hear how they work for you, comment below.  Any questions about any of these strategies, comment below or contact me here.

Nicole Ivens Holistic Counselling

I work locally with offices in Burleigh Heads & Robina and also online worldwide.  I support soulful women to cope with the ups and downs of life, releasing negative experiences and processing the grief that comes along with integrating change and embracing your new normal.   Book your free call here.