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Ask your Angels Ep21

Energy of the Week ~ Ask Your Angels Ep21

ASK YOUR ANGELS ~ EPISODE 21

Energy of the week for 23rd-29th December 2019

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.

 

Ask Your Angels Ep21

Your Guidance Revealed

Ask Your Angels Ep21

Card 1:

Your guidance starts at 1:44 in the video below.

SELF-RESPECT – A very fitting card for this time and really following on from last week where I was talking about managing expectations, and this week it is all about self-respect and not putting up with bad behaviour.  Not allowing people to treat you in ways that is not okay and doesn’t sit well with you, letting people know that their behaviour is not okay, in a kind and loving way of course.

Just because certain people have known you for a long time, maybe since you were born and they have always acted in this way, doesn’t mean you have to continue to endure it.  As we grow and go along on our spiritual journey, we do get to a point where we will no longer put up with and accept certain behaviours.

As your self-esteem and self-confidence grows and you start to believe in yourself more, you will start to see people in a different light and what you used to accept and deal with, will no longer be okay.  Time to have those conversations, letting those people know that the way in which they interact with you, is no longer acceptable and you are respectfully asking them to shift and adjust their behaviour.

Embracing your new improved self-respect and start showing that to the world, people will start to notice and slowly their behaviour will adjust because they will see how you are treating yourself and what you will and will no longer accept from them.

Card 2:

Your guidance starts at 3:56 in the video below.

MOTHER – It doesn’t matter if your mum is passed or still with you here on the Earthly Plane, the guidance remains the same.  It is about starting to see your mum in a different light, the angels are bringing through the word “Fragile” and showing me an image of a porcelain doll and we all know how fragile they are.  When you can look at your mum through that lens, the experiences, situations and behaviours you have had with your mum will start to look different, you will have a much deeper understanding of the Why!

The big revelation from childhood is when the fog lifts and we start to see our mother as a person, with her own struggles, feelings and emotions, she isn’t just mum anymore.  As you grow and possibly become a mother yourself you start to see her differently and even if there are times where you may have felt pain in your relationship with her, you can now start to see why she may have acted in that way.  Understanding that at the time she was acting through her own lens, of what she had experienced in the past, possibly with her mum and it continues up the ancestral line.  This can stop with you,  you can start the healing process, not just for you, but for her and for her mum and then down the line to your children or children to come.

This is very much about you, healing that pain you have been carrying, whether she is still here or passed, pain doesn’t end with death and pain is heavy, its time to let that go, heal and be able to move forward into our new decade without the weight, that was never yours to carry in the first place.

Card 3:

Your guidance starts at 6:34 in the video below.

FEMININE – The landscape for us as women is really starting to shift, a lot more women are starting to step forward and no longer allowing certain behaviours and imbalances within our world.  You are receiving this card because now its your turn, its time for you to deeply connect to your feminine energy and know that it is okay, safe even for you to embrace your very powerful feminine energy.

For generations there has been a real imbalance between masculine and feminine energy and its not that we want to flip it completely, we don’t want to go from an imbalance of the masculine being stronger and the feminine weaker to feminine becoming stronger and the masculine weaker, we want a balance.

This isn’t about male vs female, this is a balance of energy within each and every person whether male or female.  We all have masculine and feminine energy within us and its time for a balance.  Continuing on from card #2 healing the relationship with our mums is the start, as it then allows you to really step into and shine your strong, powerful feminine energy.

Feminine energy is very powerful and strong if you allow it to be, allowing it to come to the surface and this really is why I do the work that I do.  Supporting you as an Empath and Sensitive Soul to really just be who you are, without feeling the need to hide your sensitivity aka your feminine energy.   That is your guidance this week, to start to allow her to shine through, even just a little bit.

Card 4:

Your guidance starts at 9:11 in the video below.

GIVING & RECEIVING – What a perfect card to round up our guidance this week and at this time of year, it is a traditional time of giving and receiving isn’t it.  Giving and receiving gifts, love and time, but its about so much more that just at Christmas time, this is about the affect across all areas of your life.

As Empaths and Sensitive Souls we are so good at giving, as soon as we see someone in need, we are in there offering our help and compassionate heart, but receiving now that is another whole story, isn’t it?  We are not so good at the receiving or asking for help, we tend to shy away from that, feeling that we are the helpers, so we couldn’t possibly ask for help from another soul.

What you may not realise is that by having an imbalance between giving and receiving, you are essentially turning off the tap to abundance and prosperity across all areas of your life.  A simple act of saying no when someone offers to buy you a coffee, is turning off that tap, stopping the flow of all that you deserve in your life.

You know for you to continue to share your beautiful love with all those around you, you need to be filled up too, we need that tap of abundance, prosperity and guidance to flow.

Think about when was the last time you asked for help and actually accepted the help of another, check out the video below where I talk to you about a big reason you need to be finding a balance between giving and receiving and it is actually providing a service to others.

 

What a lovely nurturing story we have this week from Mother Mary – Queen of Angels, she is really guiding us to look at how it is we are treating ourselves and starting to heal the experiences we have had with our mothers as that leads into just how we are showing up with our feminine energy.

 

You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, comment right here on the blog.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.


 

Nicole Ivens | Gold Coast Counsellor

 


I offer Online Intuitive Readings to provide you with more personal and detailed guidance.  You can learn more and book your Intuitive Reading Here.

Ask Your Angels EP20

Energy of the Week ~ Ask Your Angels Ep20

ASK YOUR ANGELS ~ EPISODE 20

Energy of the week for 16th-22nd December 2019

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.

 

Ask Your Angels Ep20

Your Guidance Revealed

Ask Your Angels Ep20

Card 1:

Your guidance starts at 1:25 in the video below.

RELATIONSHIP HARMONY – A wonderful card to receive right before the Christmas Period, what could be better than feeling the love and peace that comes when each and every person has an open heart.  This is the gift the Angels are giving you, what they are asking from you is that you manage your expectations during this time, Christmas is usually a time where we come together with people we don’t necessarily see all that much throughout the year and this can cause friction and tension sometimes.  Coming into it with an open heart and lowering your expectations allows you to the enter the space with a lightness and with that comes a more joyful experience, as you aren’t expecting anything from anyone and with that comes harmony and beautiful surprises and miracles bestowed upon you.

In the video below I share more about this concept and process and give you some insight on what will ensure your experience is one of joy and love.

Card 2:

Your guidance starts at 4:05 in the video below

ANGEL THERAPY – Fancy that another week of our guidance following on like a beautiful story, the angels are blessing you with open hearts all around and now Archangel Raphael is coming in and showering you with his beautiful healing energy and asking you to hand anything over to him, you don’t have to do it alone.  As I mentioned in Card 1 Christmas can be a time of tension and stress and we can sometimes feel we have to do it alone, but NO your angels are there to support you and pave the way for you to have a beautiful relaxing experience if you allow them to help you.

In the video below I talk about how Christmas is known as a time of coming together, celebrating and forgiveness but it can also be a time of reflection, what has the past being about, what has it taught you?  In my view and the angels are guiding as well its not the best time to be trying to mend deep hurt with other people, because tensions can be running high, alcohol flowing and expectations are also high.

Card 3:

Your guidance starts at 6:58 in the video below

YOU ARE SAFE – What is better than that, to know you are safe.  Our beautiful strong Archangel Michael is with you, ready to cut through any negative energy that you may pick up with his infamous sword.  He is wanting you to know that he has your back!  There may be situations you find yourself in over the holidays that maybe are not of your choosing and not something you may know how to necessarily cope with, this is where he is going to come in and support you, if you allow him to.

Ask for his strength and courage to help you through times that may see you surrounded with people that are not necessarily on your vibration level, yes family are not always understanding or respectful of our difference and our growth and that can be challenging.  So ask Archangel Michael to be with you and surround you in his beautiful purple light and to cut any cords with people that you no longer want your energy attached to, now this doesn’t mean that you don’t love them or even want to sever all communication, it is just cutting the energetic cord, so your energy stays protected.

Card 4:

Your guidance starts at 11:43 in the video below

ALL IS WELL – What a beautiful way to end our story this week and also as an individual message for you, ALL IS WELL!  Isn’t that what we all want to just know that everything is going to be okay.  What the angels are guiding is if you can follow their guidance during this time, and well of course always, then all will be well.  They are also guiding there are going to be times where you need to let things play out, even if it doesn’t feel good and even downright painful sometimes, you just need to let it be.  Now I know as empaths and sensitive souls this isn’t easy for us, because we are so compassionate and always wanting to help and serve others.  But sometimes we just need to let things be and see where they go, not interfering, just going with the flow and only acting from a place of alignment and when you feel guided to step in.

Now we all know how easily we can be triggered by family, boy are they good at pressing our buttons, but it is your job to just stand back and allow it to just flow over you like water off a ducks back.  No reacting, just observing and removing yourself from the situation if need be.   As you do that you will soon see that ALL IS WELL.

 

What a beautiful story this week, an empowering one I feel, knowing that you are in control, you can lower those expectations and go into each day and each event with an energy of lightness and relaxation.  Not concerned with things going perfectly, but just spending time with people you love and knowing you have the power, strength and healing of the Archangels right by your side. 

 

You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, comment right here on the blog.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.


 

Nicole Ivens | Gold Coast Counsellor

 


I offer Online Intuitive Readings to provide you with more personal and detailed guidance.  You can learn more and book your Intuitive Reading Here.

Reflection – Who is looking back at you?

There are many mirrors around you, what are they showing you?

 

As I awoke this morning on the 4th Anniversary of my Daughter’s diagnosis with Epilepsy, I started to reflect on how different I am today compared to this day four years ago.  It got me thinking about the importance of Reflection, both on the things you have achieved but also more so on how you have changed.

At this time of year you can get so bogged down with all you need to get done, to-do list on top of to-do list on top of to-do list.  As they say, you can’t see the forest for the trees.

2018 has been the year of healing, a lot of introspection.  You may have noticed in many areas of your life it has felt like you were at a standstill, when in actual fact there was so much going on within you.

The thing about internal work is it isn’t all that noticeable on the outside, but little by little as you heal the layers on the inside, the outside will soon catch up and show you a different reflection.

Now is a great time to think back to December 2017, who were you back then?  How have you changed?  What is different now?

As I mentioned earlier, there are many mirrors around you.  This will help you to answer those questions, what are people around you reflecting back to you?  This happens in both positive and negative ways, the way in which others interact with you and also in ways that others may be triggering you.

These are all signs to you as to what is happening within you and helps you to see where you have grown and where you may still have some needed healing.

So as you go into Christmas Day with your family, you can leave behind the old you and embrace who you are now.  With this realisation the energy you share will be different and that will change how you interact with others and how they now interact with you.

This process is going to allow you to leave 2018 with the lessons you needed and leave behind that which is no longer serving you.  Giving you the best start to the New Year, ushering in a new energy to take you through 2019.

In 2019 I will be running a local Tapping Circle here on the Gold Coast and the topic for January will be Goal Setting and Manifestation.  You can book your spot here.

I would like to thank you for your support this year and wish You and Your Family a Very Merry Christmas and Prosperous New Year.

 

Tap Away Your Child’s Anxiety

Does your child or children suffer with symptoms of Anxiety?

As a sufferer of anxiety as a young child myself and raising two teenage girls who have also experienced symptoms of Anxiety, I know the pressure this puts on you as a parent and your family as a whole.  Childhood anxiety has two sides to the coin, one side is your stress as a parent in dealing with your child’s anxiety symptoms and behaviour and the other side is supporting your child to cope with the anxious symptoms and feelings.

Recently, I have come to realise that not all parents are able to recognise the signs of anxiety because that has not been their experience growing up or in their adult lived experience.  Luckily for me and my girls because of my exposure to anxiety, I can recognise it in a second and felt called to educate parents on what to look for in their child and of course tips on how to cope with it as well.

Anxiety can come in many forms and the important thing here is to understand the distinction between a child just acting out and one who is suffering from anxiety and their behaviour is completely out of their hands and not something they are doing on purpose.

What can anxiety look like?

Perfectionism – a child needing everything to be perfect and in order
Fear of trying new things – this could be a new activity or simply a new food
Worrying about events in the future
Not wanting you as their parent to leave them
Needing to know what is going to happen and when it is going to happen – who is picking me up from school today?
Fear of Failure – For example: Tests and exams at school
Overthinking is a big sign of anxiety – if you notice your child just can’t stop thinking and worrying and analysing – their big questions will be what if this happens? what if that happens?
Sleeping problems

Now not all anxiety is bad, it is completely natural for your child to feel anxious when they are starting something new, meeting new people etc.  When anxiety becomes a problem is when it starts to affect both your child’s life and is causing you stress as their parent.

Anxiety happens when a part of your child’s brain called the ‘Amygdala’ senses a threat of some kind and sends a signal that your child is in some kind of danger and they need to protect themselves.  This is where the flight, fight or freeze response comes in, they show up in the following ways:

Flight – running away and hiding in the room or not wanting to attend something
Fight – may show up like tantrums or unusual outbursts
Freeze – they may just stop and not be able to move or tell you what is wrong

So, how can you help your child if you have recognised they are suffering from anxiety symptoms?  Following I am going to teach a quick technique so you can both help your child and reduce your stress all at the same time.

  1. Tapping – EFT or Tapping is a stress reduction technique and works to quiet that part of the brain that is sending the signal of danger.  It is a very quick and effective technique that is self-applied using acupressure points on your upper body.

 

 

If you would like to learn more about this wonderful quick and effective technique, I am running a Stress Management Workshop for Parents and one of the modules is on Childhood Anxiety.  Click here to book your spot.

 

Friendships

How To Help Nurture Your Child’s Friendships

How many times have you heard from your child “We are not friends anymore”?

I know for me I have heard that more times than I can count from my two girls and there has been times where I have just said “don’t worry I am sure you will be friends again tomorrow”, majority of the time this works out to be the case but sometimes it can be the start of something bigger.

I am going to start with asking you a question that might be a little difficult, “What happens within you when your child tells you about their friend problems?”  This is a tell tale sign of actually what needs to be dealt with first.  For example if you get a gut wrenching feeling or feel pain in your heart, this is your subconscious reminding you of a similar time when you were younger having trouble with your friends.

I know for me prior to working on my own issues from childhood with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) I would be triggered every time one of my girls had problems with their friends at school.  If they cried, I would cry, if they were anxious, I would be anxious, but clearly that wasn’t any help to them and what they were experiencing.

Working on yourself first can have a profound affect on your child as well, also putting you in a better space to support them through what they are currently experiencing.  Seeing yourself as Switzerland, a place of neutrality is a great place to operate from when it comes to helping your child.  Neutrality gives you great insight and the space to be objective in any situation that presents itself, both in your own personal experience and experiences with your children that present themselves.

As parents it can be our first reaction to jump to conclusions that may be flawed due to the lack of information we are been provided with, obviously we want to believe everything our child is telling us and that their version of events is the complete truth.  A good thing to remember is each person has their version of events and the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

A process that I find works very well is to sit with your child and ask them to share with you exactly what happened, who said what and then help them to think about why their friend may have said different things and how they may have contributed to the situation.  I find helping your child to gain an understanding and awareness around another persons behaviour is a big step forward in them healing from the experience.

Another great way I find to help my girls is using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or Tapping to process what they are feeling and release the experience from their energy field, unprocessed feelings and experiences can go on to cause other problems further on in your child’s life.   Check out Episode 1 of Empowering Kids TV to learn more about how you can use EFT with your child.

Supporting your child from home can make all the difference in the interactions they have with their friends and the confidence they portray in themselves and their social interaction skills.  As a Professional Family Counsellor I work with Families to help them to empower, educate and encourage each child to be their true authentic self, building each child’s confidence and social skills is just a small part of that.

If you are noticing your child is struggling with their social skills or friendship issues, reach out and I can support both you and your child to more fruitful friendships.

Childhood Anxiety

The Signs And Symptoms Of Childhood Anxiety

I had an interesting experience this past week, I was attending an awards ceremony for my youngest daughter, Grace aged 13.  As always the ceremony starts with the Principal Address, he usually talks about the achievements of the kids and how proud he is of all they have achieved for Term 1.

However, this time he started out with what he wanted to achieve and that was 93% attendance record, the school was currently sitting at 87%.  In my mind I was thinking for such a big school that is a pretty good record, it was then that he really grabbed my attention, he used a buzz word “Anxiety” and stated it as the main reason for kids not attending school.

My ears did prick up because I had my business brain on, thinking YES I can help support parents and kids with this.  Well I sure didn’t see or expect what was to come next, his solution to a child’s anxiety left me feeling very dismayed.  He made a suggestion to the kids that all they need to do is become more organised and arrive at school early, so then they are not rushing around and will be the first in class, feeling safe and ready for the day.

What do you think about this approach?  Would this work for your child?

Now there are definitely different levels and types of anxiety and I certainly understand what he was saying in regards to how the kids feel when they are running late and rushed to get to class on time.  But is that really in the child’s complete control, I know for my kids, and I will be honest if they are late it is usually my fault.

This experience really got me thinking and wondered how many people are there that really don’t understand anxiety and what role are they playing in our child’s life and how are they contributing to the wellbeing of each of our children.   Now I know for me I recognise anxiety instantly, 1. I have personal experience 2. I am a trained professional and this led me to today’s blog and wanting to share how you can recognise anxiety in your child.

As I mentioned earlier there are different types of Anxiety, for example some of the common types I see with my clients are: Separation Anxiety, Generalised Anxiety and Situational Anxiety.

  • Separation Anxiety is as the name describes and is more common in younger children, but can also be seen in older children as well just depending on what the child has experienced and is currently coping with.
  • Generalised Anxiety is used to describe anxiety that doesn’t pertain to one certain event, experience or time.  You may have described your child as “An anxious child”.
  • Situational Anxiety is used to describe anxiety that pertains to a certain event or experience, such as tests or exams.  I see this in both younger and older children, for example younger children surrounding doctor or dentist visits and older kids exams at school.

Now that you have a better understanding of the different types of anxiety, let’s look at some of the signs and symptoms to look for in your child.

  • Complaining of stomach pains and no other signs of illness
  • Sweaty palms
  • Withdrawn behaviour, not wanting to participate in activities they would of in the past
  • Talking about all the bad things that may happen (classic anxious behaviour)
  • Crying and hiding behind you (specific to younger children with separation anxiety)
  • Not wanting to go to school and no real reason that you can determine
  • Lashing out at their siblings for reasons that in the past may not have bothered them
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Grades at school lowering compared to previous reports

These are just a few of the signs and symptoms that your child may exhibit when they are feeling anxious.  Can you recognise any that you have seen in your child?

I know how distressing it can be dealing with anxiety in your children, I am a mum to two teenage girls who both suffer from anxiety.  Having the tools and strategies you need as a parent can really help to lower this feeling of dis-empowerment and distress and I find an individual approach is best.

If you are needing support and guidance to help with your anxious child, I offer in-house counselling in person and online.  Book your session here.

How To Connect With Your True Authentic Self

Connection is the energy between two people, how you connect with another person has a lot to do with the energy between you.  When your energy levels are different, the connection can be more difficult.  You know the saying “I felt like I have known them my whole life”, this comes from both people being on the same energy wave length and you feel an immediate connection.

Connection

Now that you are aware of what a connection is, how can you apply that to your true authentic self?  A connection been the energy between two people, well in this case it is a connection between the self you are aware of and your higher self.  You know that small quiet inner voice you hear and probably ignore most of the time, that is your higher self guiding you.

Starting to improve your connection with your higher self is going to help you to live your life as your true authentic self, instead of living from external expectations and how you think you should live your life.  From the time as a small child you have been instructed on what to do, how to do it and when to do it, so it is no wonder your connection has waned.

Aren’t you tired of living a life that doesn’t feel authentic to you?  Doing things to please others, only to be left feeling depleted instead of energised.  Operating in connection with your higher self will see you doing things in such a way that serves both you and others, remembering when you say yes to others you are in fact saying no to yourself.

In today’s world of social media it can be hard to shut out all the external noise and connect back in with your true authentic self.  Falling into the comparison trap is very common and I for one have been very guilty of comparing myself to others.  So how do you shut out all this noise and connect in with your higher self, let’s look at a few ways.

3 Ways To Connect With Your True Authentic Self

  1. Meditation – is a wonderful way to shut out the external noise and come back to your center.  Think about it as a time of getting to do nothing, instead of viewing it as just another thing you need to do.  I recommend using the app “insight timer”, it has some beautiful music with a timer.  Start out with just 5 minutes and build it up over time, I currently do 20 mins morning and night.
  2. Journaling – is a great way to hear your voice, without any restrictions, just write.  Let it flow and see what comes.  I shared in an earlier blog “The Art Of Letting Go” steps to journaling if you haven’t done it before.  This is something I recommend to all of my clients for both themselves and their children, depending on the age.  For younger kids getting them to draw how they are feeling works wonders.
  3. Breathing – deep breathing is such a quick, easy and effective way to connect in with your true authentic self.  Breathing calms both feelings in your body and thoughts in your mind, give yourself 3 minutes and you will be feeling refreshed and grounded.

Using the above strategies on a regular basis is going to see you feeling calmer, more relaxed and less likely to take on other peoples opinions or judgements as  your own.

If you are finding it hard to have a connection with your true authentic self, I can help you to work through past experiences that are keeping you from re-awakening your deep connection.

www.nicoleivens.com/workwithnicole

Letting Go

The Art of Letting Go

We all go through so many different experiences in our lives.

It is a given that we are going to hold onto certain ones and let go of others.  The question is are you holding onto the right experiences, the ones that will serve you rather than harm you?

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Let’s have a look at the reasons you may have for holding onto certain experiences:

  • They bring you joy, the memory takes you back to a happier time.
  • The experience changed you in some profound way
  • A pivotal moment in your life
  • Guilt is holding you back from releasing the experience
  • Forgiveness, you are unable to forgive others or yourself
  • Punishment, you feel holding onto the anger is punishing the other person or yourself

As you can see there are many reasons we hold onto past experiences and not all are good for us and this list is far from been exhaustive.

 

People are going to take actions that you may deem as offensive or hurtful and sometimes those people are the ones that are the closest to you, yes I am talking about your family members.  When these experiences happen they can hurt you so deeply, right through to your core that it can be hard to see a way out.

I am sure if someone suggests you need to move on or you need to forgive them, your first reaction may be to ask them to hold onto some of your anger.  No other person can know how you are feeling, even if they have had a similar experience, its just not the same.

So if no other person can know how you are feeling, does that mean you are on your own?  No far from it, just because I may not be able to know exactly how you are feeling, I can empathise with what you are experiencing and give you a safe space to just breath and start to let it go.


5 Ways to the Art of Letting Go

  1. Talk about it with a trusted friend or Professional Counsellor
  2. Journaling, start to write out your thoughts and feelings
  3. EFT or Tapping – a quick an effective way to release past hurts and experiences that are no longer serving you
  4. Meditation – a time to just be and releasing your thoughts as they come and go
  5. Forgive yourself – you are not perfect and there will be times you wish you did something different.  Its time to let go of the judgement of YOU!

I get a lot of questions about journaling, main one being “I just don’t know how to do it”.  Here are some tips to help you on your journaling journey:

Just try these five easy steps. You’ll be writing!

W – What do you want to write about? What’s going on? How do you feel? What are you thinking about? What do you want? Name it.

R – Review or reflect on it. Close your eyes. Take three deep breaths. Focus. You can start with “I feel…” or “I want…” or “I think…” or “Today….” or “Right now…” or “In this moment…”

I –  Investigate your thoughts and feelings. Start writing and keep writing. Follow the pen/keyboard. If you get stuck or run out of juice, close your eyes and re-center yourself. Re-read what you’ve already written and continue writing.

T – Time yourself. Write for 5-15 minutes. Write the start time and the projected end time at the top of the page. If you have an alarm/timer on your mobile phone, set it.

E – Exit smart by re-reading what you’ve written and reflecting on it in a sentence or two: “As I read this, I notice—” or “I’m aware of—” or “I feel—”. Note any action steps to take.

In summary….it’s easy to W.R.I.T.E. !
W hat topic?
R eview/reflect
I nvestigate
T ime yourself
E xit smart

Credit to: Center for Journal Therapy – learn more here


These strategies will work wonders in helping you to master the art of letting go and guess what you can use these with your kids too.  I am sure there have been times where you kids have held onto an experience for longer than is healthy for them, I know my kids have.

Successful Parent

What Makes a Successful Parent?

Success = The accomplishment of an aim or purpose

If we follow this definition of success then being a successful parent is going to look different for each person as we all have our own purpose.

What is your purpose?

When you thought about becoming a parent, what were the values you thought would be important in your role as a parent and how do they compare to the reality?

In today’s world of social media we can easily fall into the trap of comparison, seeing how other parents are living their lives can give you a feeling of insecurity.  Reminding yourself of your values as a parent can help to bring you back to who you are and what it is you want to achieve as a parent.

As parents we are continually worried that we may not have all the answers and the way we are raising our kids may be causing them damage.  However, what is important to remember is that you have everything you need within you to be a successful parent.

Let’s look at the traits within you that support you in becoming a successful parent:

  1. Be Yourself
  2. Trust Yourself
  3. Use your Intuition
  4. Respect each child’s uniqueness
  5. Gain knowledge

Coming back to who you are and trust in that will allow you to become the best parent you can be.  There is no other person on this earth that can be a better parent to your child, your child chose you as their parent for a reason.

Trust in your abilities and this will reflect in how you raise your child and yourself in the process.  When I look back over my parenting journey of 16 years, I can see how different my children are as they have grown into young ladies but I can also see a vast difference in my own growth and the growth of my husband.

We are all in this together, trust yourself first and then ask for support as you need it.  Together we will raise enlightened children.

Written by Nicole Ivens

Nicole Ivens is an experienced Professional Counsellor  and EFT Coach.

Nicole supports parents to empower, educate and encourage their children to be their true authentic self.

Learn more about Nicole http://www.nicoleivens.com/about

Living with stress

A Guide to Living with Stress

Let’s start with the acronym for Stress:

STRESS = Situations That Release Emergency Signals or Stimuli

Stress is something we all experience in our lives be that us as adults or our children and sometimes our children are the source of our own stress.

So how do you live with stress in your life without allowing it to be detrimental to your health and inner peace?

It really comes down to having a plan in place and go to strategies that you can use in the moment to reduce and cope with your feelings of stress, either big or small.

In times of high stress I have always found the following quote a great reminder of the control I have in each and every situation.

The situations that appear in our life are not always in our control, but how we react to it, now that is where our power lies.  There are always going to be times in your life where everything goes belly up and your response to it is going to be the catalyst to what happens next.

This is especially important when dealing with our children, when they are acting in ways that cause us stress, it is because they are experiencing their own level of stress, so our reaction to it is paramount to again what happens next.

I am sure you are seeing a pattern here:

Situation > Response > What Happens Next

As you can see our response is the middle ground here which is a very important place to be and as such just as important to have the strategies available to you to gauge your response in each situation.

5 Strategies to Living with Stress

  1. Calm Tone of Voice – This is imperative for how you speak to yourself during times of stress and your children.  This will allow you to calm yourself and those around you, aka your children.
  2. Deep Breathing – Your breath is the biggest natural asset that you have, using it to calm your mind in times of stress will allow you to think in a logical way.  Use 4>4>4 method, breathe in for a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of 4.
  3. Smiling – Utilising another natural asset your smile, this will help to relax your muscles, notice more positive options and lower your blood pressure
  4. Stay in the present moment – Ground your energy through using this statement “I am Nicole; I am 42 years old, this is the present and not the past; I am safe here, today is Thursday”  Using this statement with your personal information will bring you back into the present moment where you are safe.
  5. Gratitude Practice – Each day write down one thing you are grateful for and put it in a box and then on days of stress reading these entries will help to lower your stress levels.  Another great thing to do as a family is read these entries on World Gratitude Day – 21st September.

Using these simple strategies in your daily life will help you and your children to start to self-regulate and live with stress in a way that doesn’t affect your health or inner peace.

Learn more about Nicole http://www.nicoleivens.com/about