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Balanced Friendships

Balanced Friendships as an Empath

Do you know what balanced friendships look like?


As empaths we are naturally caring and giving, always wanting the best for those around us and of course we can feel when that is not the case.  We tend to leap into action doing what we can to help and support that person to feel better, because as they feel better we feel better too.

What happens in the aftermath is a clear indication of the health and balance of the friendship, once they are feeling back to their old self and the issue is solved, what actions do they then take?

In balanced friendships there will be gratitude for the support you have provided, there will be no silence or ghosting, there will be no lack of contact until the next time you are needed.  Most importantly when you are in need of support, they will be right there holding you up in your time of need.

Balanced Friendships


Unfortunately empaths and highly sensitive souls have a tendency to be used in relationships and friendships because they give their everything and don’t always have that favour returned.  I know I have experienced this in my life time and time again, I would be the go to person when life got messy, I would drop everything and be there to support them through.  The storm would pass and I would be dropped like a hot potato and not hear from them again until the next storm.

I would always ask myself “why does this keep happening, I am a good person, do I not deserve to have contact with them outside of their storm?”  Of course when I started to unpack it, I could see it as a pattern within me that needed healing, my walls were down there were no boundaries to be seen, it was like open season.

As a recovering people pleaser I would always do whatever I could do to please others and of course that meant doing so much more for them and being there at the drop of a hat with no consideration for my own needs.  All that did was allow them to then also have no consideration for my needs, why would they, I sure didn’t.

I’ll be honest with you until very recently I didn’t even know what a balanced friendship looked like or felt like, thankfully I do now and do you know why I now know that and feel that?  I healed the part inside of me, my inner child who had been hurt so many times by people she thought were friends, that I finally felt deserving of a balanced friendship of someone that cares for and believes in me wholeheartedly.

I will take a shot in the dark and say this is probably your experience too, you may have been hurt by people in the past and now its hard to trust, hard to believe that having people in your corner is even a possibility.

“I am here to tell you right now, you are deserving, you are worthy and your soul-friends are just waiting for you.”

Balanced Friendships


The path to your soul-friends is to be open, to be very open to the people you are surrounding yourself with right now.  Disclaimer: It doesn’t mean they are bad, they are not, from your unhealed place you have welcomed in behaviour that is no longer acceptable to you.

Just because you have been friends since school or maybe it’s “but they are my family” or “its just the way they are” or “its just always been this way”.  These are all beliefs that have most likely been placed on you and they are beliefs that are keeping you from being your true self, because that true self is exhausted under the weight of carrying the burdens of others.

Wouldn’t you just love to let all that go?  Start to feel free and know that balanced and soulful connections are possible for you too.

You don’t have to be a doormat, you don’t have to be a sponge.  What if the way in which you have been allowing others to treat you is in fact not only stunting your spiritual growth but theirs as well.  As empaths we are all about helping, so what if just for a moment you could entertain the idea that there is another way to help those around you.

It is not our job to carry the burdens for others but help, teach and support them to carry it for themselves.  Now I know we have a tendency to fix, it’s a natural human desire to take pain way from our loved ones, but in pain lies growth.  I see this so much in the work that I do with my private clients, pain moves them to action so much quicker than pleasure ever does.

If you do everything in your power to take away their pain, you are interfering in their growth process, in the growth of their soul.  I envision our souls sometimes acting like Homer Simpson saying “DOH” we were so close.

So let’s look at this in the concept of balanced friendships, so of course you are going to want to be there for your friends in their times of need, it is your natural state of being but the question is “is it theirs?”.

There may be a number of reasons as to why it is not theirs, seeing the pain in others isn’t easy, being able to hold space for another in their time of need isn’t easy as I am sure you know all too well.  But for empaths we do this naturally, it is our natural state of being, but it isn’t for everyone.

The question you want to ask yourself is “if my friend is unable to hold space for me when I need it, am I okay with continuing to do it for them?”

You might be and that is 100% okay, if you are not if you have had enough, then it is time for change.  Like I said earlier in the article, it doesn’t make them bad or you bad, it is just your expectations have changed and you now require more from your friendships and that is also 100% okay.

Now of course in any friendship there are going to be up and down times, back and forth, times where you need more support and times where they need more support.  Even periods where it may feel that either you or your friend is needing more and that is okay, the important focus is if the tables were turned would it look similar?

I hope this article helps you to start to assess your friendships and gain an understanding as to whether they are balanced and above all know that you are worthy and deserving of balanced friendships with others where you feel supported and held.

I would love to hear your experience within your friendships, comment below you never know who needs to hear it.

I work with empaths and highly sensitive souls providing support, guidance and healing.  To book your online or in-person session click here.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

words affecting your energy

How Your Words Are Affecting Your Energy

How Your Words Are Affecting Your Energy

“With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility” – Spiderman

A quote that came to me when I started to think about the power of the word, clearly being married to a sci-fi geek for the past 20 years is finally rubbing off on me.

Words are so extremely powerful and with that does come a lot of responsibility, as the words you use determine your reality.

Whether it is the words you use when you are talking to yourself, the words you use to describe yourself or the words you use when you are communicating with others.

The words you use when talking to yourself are the most powerful, as you are the person that one you spend the most time with and two listen to the most.

The words you use to describe yourself also have such a big impact on you, if you think about the way in which you describe yourself you can either empower or dis-empower yourself.

This is where you can start to see the affect that your words have on your energy, when you are feeling empowered and confident your energy levels are high.  But when you are feeling dis-empowered due to the words you are using, your energy is going to be low.

I always remember been told as a young mum of two girls that I am their biggest influence as the same sex parent, the way in which I describe myself to them can have a huge affect on how they then see themselves.

For example, say I say something like “I look fat today”, they can then internalise that and think if mum thinks she is fat, maybe I am too.

This really leads into the power of the word when you are also communicating with others, you have an affect on those around you, even if you are not aware of it.  I know for me my kids don’t seem to be listening for the most part, teenage girls for you.  But there will be times where I hear my words coming out of their mouth, so clearly they are listening.

I feel this is very well demonstrated in our current issues in schools around bullying, for the most part for our kids, it is the words that are being said as opposed to physical bullying.  All you have to do is look at the rate of teen/kid suicide from being bullied at school and online, again the power of the word.

The old saying goes:

“Sticks and Stones may break my Bones but Words will never Hurt me”

Boy is that all kinds of wrong, the emotional trauma that comes from the words used against you, words used to describe you and words used to hurt you is so so damaging.

Emotional wounds take so long to heal and unfortunately are not given enough attention in today’s world, if you are emotional you are seen as weak, if you are sensitive, you are seen as weak.

We need to start to give our words more attention, to really understand their power, their influence and their affect not just on us but on those that we interact with.

A great way to start to connect in more with your words is to allow them to move through the following pathways:

words affecting your energy

Making this a habit is going to help you so much to spend more time feeling empowered and influential, using your words for good.  Knowing you have the power to decide how it is you want to feel and how it is you want to make others feel when they are in your presence.  Because not only will the use of your words make a difference, your energy level will be different and those around you will feel it.

It is my honour to hold a safe space for you as you discover, heal and release your past and move towards a place of happiness, peace and serenity.

Together we will:

Unlock the Healer Within, Heal Past Traumas, Understand your Gift and Strengths as an Empath, Heighten your Self-Worth and Self-Confidence, Uncover the Culprit behind your Patterns, Uncover and Release Limiting Beliefs, and Create space for your dreams to manifest

Click here to book your appointment

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

ask your angels episode 39

Ask Your Angels Episode 39 | Weekly Insight


Weekly Insight for 27th April 2020

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need to surrender?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.


ask your angels episode 39

Your Guidance Revealed


Listen on the Podcast

Card 1: Surrender Low Self-Esteem

You deserve success, love and abundance.  Set an intention to identify and release any remnants of low self-esteem.

Take note of any areas in your life where low self-esteem is causing you to hold back and not go after the things you really want, it may show up as feelings of “I don’t know enough, I am not enough or what will people think”.



Take some time with the Journal Question to gain further guidance and integrate this week’s guidance.

Journal Question: If I had complete confidence in myself and my abilities, how would my life look?

ask your angels episode 39Card 2: Surrender to Silence

In quiet meditation or contemplation, let go and enter the stillness within.  Silence can heal and replenish you.

Silence is very powerful and can provide you the deep answers you have been searching for and most likely looking outside of you.  That quiet voice within you needs your full attention and times of silence will allow you to truly tune in.

Silence can also be extremely uncomfortable in the beginning, that in itself can yield great insight and answers – why is it uncomfortable?


Take some time with the Journal Question to gain further guidance and integrate this week’s guidance.

journal question:  when there is silence I feel……

ask your angels episode 39 Card 3: Surrender Your Attachment to Results

The formula for success is to do all you can to “make things happen,” then let go of the results.  Holding on too tightly to a desired outcome can sabotage it.

If you have an idea of how things should happen you are essentially strangling the universe, by wanting things to happen in your way and on your timeline.  By letting go of the results you are allowing the universe to freely bring forth what you need in a way that is for your highest good.

I wrote about this concept on my blog recently, you can check it out here.


Take some time with the Journal Question to gain further guidance and integrate this week’s guidance.

journal Question:  If you are not in control, what do you feel within your body?

ask your angels episode 39Card 4: Surrender to Effortlessness

Stop pushing so hard.  The art of living means going with the flow instead of trying to force the river.

Pay attention in your life where you are forcing things to happen on your timeline instead of connecting in to divine timing.  Look at that this week and see where you are pushing, like pushing a rock up a hill, get out of the way of the rock and go with the flow.


Take some time with the Journal Question to gain further guidance and integrate this week’s guidance.

journal Question: if you allowed yourself to let go and go with the flow, what would happen?

Journaling is a powerful way to incorporate the guidance you have received, bringing it to you on a deeper level and allowing you to gain great insight into yourself and what is true for you.  As you gain clarity and learn more about yourself you are well on your way to a life you truly deserve. 


If you are looking to take your journaling practice deeper, come and join us in the Mystical Membership.  A beautiful community to join other souls just like you, women you will feel aligned with and resonate with all we are sharing together.  Join here.


You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below


I would love to hear about any insights that surface for you throughout the week, you can connect with me on Instagram @nicoleivens

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.


Nicole Ivens | Gold Coast Counsellor


Ask your Angels Ep21

Energy of the Week ~ Ask Your Angels Ep21


Energy of the week for 23rd-29th December 2019

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.


Ask Your Angels Ep21

Your Guidance Revealed

Ask Your Angels Ep21

Card 1:

Your guidance starts at 1:44 in the video below.

SELF-RESPECT – A very fitting card for this time and really following on from last week where I was talking about managing expectations, and this week it is all about self-respect and not putting up with bad behaviour.  Not allowing people to treat you in ways that is not okay and doesn’t sit well with you, letting people know that their behaviour is not okay, in a kind and loving way of course.

Just because certain people have known you for a long time, maybe since you were born and they have always acted in this way, doesn’t mean you have to continue to endure it.  As we grow and go along on our spiritual journey, we do get to a point where we will no longer put up with and accept certain behaviours.

As your self-esteem and self-confidence grows and you start to believe in yourself more, you will start to see people in a different light and what you used to accept and deal with, will no longer be okay.  Time to have those conversations, letting those people know that the way in which they interact with you, is no longer acceptable and you are respectfully asking them to shift and adjust their behaviour.

Embracing your new improved self-respect and start showing that to the world, people will start to notice and slowly their behaviour will adjust because they will see how you are treating yourself and what you will and will no longer accept from them.

Card 2:

Your guidance starts at 3:56 in the video below.

MOTHER – It doesn’t matter if your mum is passed or still with you here on the Earthly Plane, the guidance remains the same.  It is about starting to see your mum in a different light, the angels are bringing through the word “Fragile” and showing me an image of a porcelain doll and we all know how fragile they are.  When you can look at your mum through that lens, the experiences, situations and behaviours you have had with your mum will start to look different, you will have a much deeper understanding of the Why!

The big revelation from childhood is when the fog lifts and we start to see our mother as a person, with her own struggles, feelings and emotions, she isn’t just mum anymore.  As you grow and possibly become a mother yourself you start to see her differently and even if there are times where you may have felt pain in your relationship with her, you can now start to see why she may have acted in that way.  Understanding that at the time she was acting through her own lens, of what she had experienced in the past, possibly with her mum and it continues up the ancestral line.  This can stop with you,  you can start the healing process, not just for you, but for her and for her mum and then down the line to your children or children to come.

This is very much about you, healing that pain you have been carrying, whether she is still here or passed, pain doesn’t end with death and pain is heavy, its time to let that go, heal and be able to move forward into our new decade without the weight, that was never yours to carry in the first place.

Card 3:

Your guidance starts at 6:34 in the video below.

FEMININE – The landscape for us as women is really starting to shift, a lot more women are starting to step forward and no longer allowing certain behaviours and imbalances within our world.  You are receiving this card because now its your turn, its time for you to deeply connect to your feminine energy and know that it is okay, safe even for you to embrace your very powerful feminine energy.

For generations there has been a real imbalance between masculine and feminine energy and its not that we want to flip it completely, we don’t want to go from an imbalance of the masculine being stronger and the feminine weaker to feminine becoming stronger and the masculine weaker, we want a balance.

This isn’t about male vs female, this is a balance of energy within each and every person whether male or female.  We all have masculine and feminine energy within us and its time for a balance.  Continuing on from card #2 healing the relationship with our mums is the start, as it then allows you to really step into and shine your strong, powerful feminine energy.

Feminine energy is very powerful and strong if you allow it to be, allowing it to come to the surface and this really is why I do the work that I do.  Supporting you as an Empath and Sensitive Soul to really just be who you are, without feeling the need to hide your sensitivity aka your feminine energy.   That is your guidance this week, to start to allow her to shine through, even just a little bit.

Card 4:

Your guidance starts at 9:11 in the video below.

GIVING & RECEIVING – What a perfect card to round up our guidance this week and at this time of year, it is a traditional time of giving and receiving isn’t it.  Giving and receiving gifts, love and time, but its about so much more that just at Christmas time, this is about the affect across all areas of your life.

As Empaths and Sensitive Souls we are so good at giving, as soon as we see someone in need, we are in there offering our help and compassionate heart, but receiving now that is another whole story, isn’t it?  We are not so good at the receiving or asking for help, we tend to shy away from that, feeling that we are the helpers, so we couldn’t possibly ask for help from another soul.

What you may not realise is that by having an imbalance between giving and receiving, you are essentially turning off the tap to abundance and prosperity across all areas of your life.  A simple act of saying no when someone offers to buy you a coffee, is turning off that tap, stopping the flow of all that you deserve in your life.

You know for you to continue to share your beautiful love with all those around you, you need to be filled up too, we need that tap of abundance, prosperity and guidance to flow.

Think about when was the last time you asked for help and actually accepted the help of another, check out the video below where I talk to you about a big reason you need to be finding a balance between giving and receiving and it is actually providing a service to others.


What a lovely nurturing story we have this week from Mother Mary – Queen of Angels, she is really guiding us to look at how it is we are treating ourselves and starting to heal the experiences we have had with our mothers as that leads into just how we are showing up with our feminine energy.


You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, comment right here on the blog.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.


Nicole Ivens | Gold Coast Counsellor


I offer Online Intuitive Readings to provide you with more personal and detailed guidance.  You can learn more and book your Intuitive Reading Here.

Energy of the Week ~ Ask Your Angels Episode 17


Energy of the week for 25th November – 1st December 2019

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.

Ask your Angels Episode 17


Your Guidance Revealed

Ask your Angels Episode 17

Card 1:

Your guidance starts at 3:09 in the video below.

BLESSINGS OF THE MOON MAIDEN – Do you deserve abundance?  That is the question that is being posed for you this week, as you angels are guiding that you can do all the work towards welcoming abundance into your life but without answering that question and being very truthful about the belief you have in and about yourself, your results will be watered down.  When we don’t believe in ourselves and what we truly deserve, it can be a block to all the wonderful things coming into our life, you can do all the things but if you don’t truly feel deserving due to deep core beliefs, all the greatness is going to be stopped at the door.  Not by anyone else but by YOU.

In this week’s video I share a special prayer with you to help you in this area and truly welcoming in what you are deserving of on a soul level.

Card 2:

Your guidance starts at 5:54 in the video below

TEN SISTERS OF LIGHT – You are an old or wise soul if you will, you have so much to share with the world but fear is holding you back, stopping you from sharing your light and the amazing knowledge and wisdom you have within you.  You have so much support around you, such as the Archangels, your Guardian Angel and the Masters, such as Jesus and Buddha.  What your angels are guiding is you have been afraid of sharing your true essence, really allowing your true light to shine, showing people who you truly are at your core without all of the masks that you wear.

I share a little story in the video below about my journey in regards to this fear, what the angels are guiding is this fear does come from a deep place from experiences you have had previously, even in previous lifetimes.  They are wanting you to know it is safe now, it is safe for you to really and truly be YOU and allow you wisdom, kindness and compassion to shine in the world in such a big way.

I shared a healing experience in the video below to help you in starting to feel safe, let go of the fear and really share your beautiful light.

Card 3:

Your guidance starts at 11:11 in the video below

ORCHID PRIESTESS OF DESTINY – You feel different don’t you, different to those around you, different to those you have grown up with.  Your angels have posed that question “Do you feel different?” They are guiding there is a reason for that, you were made this way on and with purpose, it is part of your time here to share your differences, your sensitivity, to make shifts in the world.  Whilst that may feel scary it is actually just gentle shifts, that are then going to have ripples in the universe to make changes to the collective, to the planet.

Where this needs to start is with you, with you starting to adjust the belief you have in yourself, knowing that you have everything you need within you and what is within you is beautiful and does NOT need to be changed.  You don’t need to be like anyone else, we are all different in our own ways and that is where the beauty lies.

In the video below I share a beautiful healing prayer to help you in this area.

Card 4:

Your guidance starts at 14:26 in the video below

BLOSSOMS OF THE SKY DANCER – You have so much support around you, the archangels, the masters and your guardian angel are all by your side, just waiting for you to step into your soul purpose.  They are showing me that this is something that you have been questioning lately, and really questioning whether you deserve anything more than what  you have right now and also whether you even deserve what you do have right now.  They are wanting you to know that you are worthy, you are deserving and so much is available to you once you believe this to be true.

So the work for you is all about starting to believe in yourself, knowing that you have everything within you to have a beautiful life and even more important that nothing this is divinely planned for you will pass you by.  Take solace in that truth.  I have shared a healing experience in the video below to help you to integrate this guidance.


You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, comment right here on the blog.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.


Nicole Ivens | Gold Coast Counsellor


I offer 1-1 Local & Online Holistic Counselling to support you in Mind, Body & Spirit, Book your Complimentary Discovery Session Here.

Ask Your Angels Episode 12 | Energy of the Week


Energy of the week for 21st – 27th October 2019

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.

Ask Your Angels Episode 12


Your Guidance Revealed

Ask Your Angels Episode 12

Card 1:


Love – Mother Mary is guiding you to show yourself love this week, its all about self-love, about starting to look at everything through a lens of love.  Your tendency to give yourself a hard time and look at events through a lens of a critic, is only causing you more pain.  Mother Mary wants  you to know as much as you want to do things perfectly, none of us are perfect, we are perfectly imperfect and you did the best you could with what you knew at the time.  As you look at things through the lens of love, your perspective will change and give you a real chance to release this hurt and pain and be able to move forward, knowing you did your very best in that moment.  I talk more about this in the video below, starting at 2:14.


Card 2:

Open Your Heart – This card really follows on from card number 1, continuing on with the theme of self-love asking you to open up your heart to love, allowing more love in.  As you start to operate from your heart space everything starts to look a whole lot more rosy and you will feel more in the flow with life, the colours of the world will seem so much more vibrant.  When you are operating from your logic brain, the place of critical thinking, that is where you can really be giving yourself a hard time, I talk more about this in the video below starting at 4:45 – the harm of using your critical thinking on yourself.

Open up your heart space and allow love from the inside out to fill that space, allowing you to feel such love, such care and such nurture coming from YOU to YOU!

Card 3:

Mercy – the theme of self-love is continuing through the cards this week, and this card is no different, oh boy haven’t you been giving yourself a hard time of late.  My lovely you need to back off, and I say that with love, back off yourself.  As Dr Phil would say how is that working for you, giving yourself such a hard time.  Can you imagine if you saw someone else talking to another the way you speak to yourself,  you would come to their aid and telling that person to back the hell off.  So please STOP, stop giving yourself such a hard time, you deserve so much better, you deserve love and you deserve mercy.

I talk more in the video below starting at 8:06, about the importance of being more kind and caring to yourself.

Card 4:

Inner Child – Again the cards follow on, the theme of self-love is continuing and with this card it is all about caring for your inner child, she hears and feels everything.  All those thoughts and all those words are felt so deeply by her, as I talk about in the video below starting at 10:50 imagine a beautiful little face of your inner child, when she hears harsh words, don’t do that to her and don’t do that to yourself.  Speak kind words to yourself and inturn to your inner child, she needs some kindness and love this week (well always), but especially this week.  Give yourself a break, give yourself love and give yourself forgiveness.


You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, comment right here on the blog.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.

Nicole Ivens | EFT Gold Coast

I offer 1-1 Local & Online Holistic Counselling to support you in Mind, Body & Spirit, Book your Complimentary Discovery Session Here.

Stress Busters For Mums

In my opinion there is one role we choose to take on as women and it is the most difficult, yet the most profound, growth provoking and fulfilling.  You got it, our role as a mother, one day all of a sudden we are responsible for this little human, with no guidelines and no rule book or manual to speak of.

Can you imagine starting a new job and being thrown in the deep end with no instructions, help or flotation devices to speak of.  Just wouldn’t happen right, hello HR we have a problem.

So of course mums experience different levels of stress throughout their child’s life, I’m just learning now with teenagers, one nearly 18, it doesn’t get better, or worry less, it’s just different.

“The older they get, the bigger the age number, the bigger the problems”

Stress Busters for Mums


So let’s look at some strategies aka Stress Busters For Mums to help you through some of those stressful periods as a Mum.

  1. Breathe

Breath work is very powerful in lowering your stress levels, helping you to self-regulate your emotions and then respond in a more calm manner.  Ensuring you are breathing deeply, in through your nose and out through your mouth.  Note: Shallow breathing will cause your anxiety to spike, in turn making your stress levels worse.

2. No comparing

STOP comparing yourself to other women and other mothers, even your own.  You are not them and they are not you, also they don’t have your children, they don’t know your children like you do.  You know what your children need, comparing yourself to others is only going to bring more misery and possibly trigger you in ways of self-worth and self-confidence.  You are doing your very best and that is Enough!

3. Adult Time Out

You need some time-out, time to just breathe (see strategy #1), to tend to your needs without being pulled in a thousand different directions.  Time out for you will be different for time out for me or any other woman, you do you and let others do them.  If you could take an “Adult Time Out”, what would that look like for you?

Taking a time out is not neglecting your children or your role as a mum, you are doing it for them not to them.  A calm and relaxed mum is way more fruitful for your children than an exhausted, stressed and overwhelmed mum.

4. Emotion Regulation

You are human despite you proving otherwise with your amazing skills at being in a million places at once and being everything to everyone.  So yes you have needs and you have emotions that need tending to, emotion regulation is going to help you to feel calm within the chaos that is life as a mum.  Along with the first three strategies this is important in keeping you grounded and allowing you to cope with life’s hard knocks.

EFT or Tapping is a great modality to be using to help you self-regulate (you can teach it to your kids too), its easy to learn and very effective at lowering both yours and your children’s stress levels.  In my mind a calm mum is a calm child and a calm child is a calm mum.  Check out the video below where I take you through a quick process of what EFT or Tapping is and how you can use it in your life.



I hope you enjoy trying out these stress busters for mums, I would love to hear how they work for you, comment below.  Any questions about any of these strategies, comment below or contact me here.

Nicole Ivens Holistic Counselling

I work locally with offices in Burleigh Heads & Robina and also online worldwide.  I support soulful women to cope with the ups and downs of life, releasing negative experiences and processing the grief that comes along with integrating change and embracing your new normal.   Book your free call here.

Ask Your Angels | Episode 9 | Relationship Needs

In this week’s episode of “Ask Your Angels” the theme is “Relationship Needs”


With the New Moon upon us in Libra focusing on Relationships, I felt it was a perfect theme for our episode of Ask Your Angels this week.

Each of you will have a relationship in your life that you see as the most important, it may be with an intimate partner, a friend or in my mind with yourself.

So this week, lets ask the question “What does my most important relationship need?”

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.

Relationship Needs


Your Guidance Revealed

Relationship Needs

Card 1:

You’re already doing it ~ Your guidance for this week is to confirm for you that you are already doing everything you possibly can, there is no need to overthink the situation or relationship.  For those of you that may be in a relationship that isn’t feeling aligned to you, this is a message to let you know that it may be time to move on, some people are with us for the long haul and others for the short-term.  Connect in with your guidance to know the true answer, your angels are guiding you actually already know the truth of this situation.

On the other hand if you are very happy in this relationship (the one you thought of when you asked the question), then this message comes to you in the spirit of “Slow down Sister” (to quote Gabby Bernstein), you are doing all you need to,  you are being all you are.   All is good and you can accept this and know there is nothing more that needs to be done.

Card 2:

Trust The Niggle ~ For you its all about trusting in the wisdom of your body, pay attention to those niggles, they may come as a feeling in your gut (solar plexus chakra) or in your heart space (seat of the soul).  Thinking about that relationship that came to mind, how do you feel around that person?  Do they invoke feelings of exhilaration, high energy and excitement or do they invoke feelings of dread, anxiety, stress and worry?

Pay attention to your energy when you are around them and when you leave their presence, do they energize or exhaust you?  These are all signs for you, trust the niggle.

Card 3:

Take A Break ~ For you its about taking a step back, so you can then see the truth of what’s happening here.  I share more about this on the video below, if communication is an issue in this relationship, sometimes you need to take a step back so you can both hear each other.  I have spoken about this with many of my clients and they find it quite profound when I tell them “They can’t hear you right now”, it really changes the perspective from feeling ignored to I need to come at this in a different way and maybe even at a different time.   Click below to hear more in the video.

Card 4:

Transformation ~ Well haven’t you been doing some wonderful healing, I have a feeling the relationship that showed up for you is the one with yourself – YES?  As you heal past wounds, past patterns, past behaviours it allows for a different relationship both with yourself and with others.  You may have noticed a pattern in past relationships where a similar issue surfaced in different relationships and may have wondered why, well that pattern until healed, until the lesson is learned will continue to surface.  I congratulate you on working on yourself (not easy I know), healing what is no longer serving you.


You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, either comment right here on the blog or on the video over on YouTube.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.

Nicole Ivens | EFT Gold Coast

I offer 1-1 Local & Online Holistic Counselling to support you in Mind, Body & Spirit, Book your Complimentary Discovery Session Here.

How To Conquer Fear

FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real

Fear is a big topic and one that we all deal with, the acronym for Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real, but BOY does it feel real in that moment.

When fear is rising in you, no matter what it is you are trying to do, it can really feel like your life is in danger.  Your EGO likes to keep you in your comfort zone and how does it do that?  By making your feel fearful, frightened of making change, those great thoughts of “what could go wrong?” or “who do you think you are?”.

Three Ways to Conquer Fear in your Life

1. Take Away Its Power

When fear is rising in you, it has great power, keeping you stuck and not moving forward.  So you need to take away its power, to do that you are going to take pen to paper.  {sidenote: not on the computer or your phone}  I want you to get out a notebook or piece of paper and you are going to write out all those thoughts and fears that are rising in you, as you do that it takes away its power.

When your thoughts are free to roam around  your head, they gain great momentum.  As you remove them, by writing them down, you take away the power they have over you.  Just like a rock rolling down a hill, it just gets faster and faster until you remove it from the hill, then it just comes to a STOP.

2. Supporting Evidence

What evidence is there that this thought or fear is true?  You are going to become an investigator/scientist, looking for the evidence that this fear you are experiencing is even real, does it have anything substantial backing it up.  Chances are you are not going to find much evidence if any to support this fear and thoughts associated with it, remembering F.E.A.R ~ False Evidence Appearing Real.

3. Flip the Script

Look back over your life and recognise times where you have pushed past your fear and accomplished your goals anyway, what courage and bravery that takes.  To say yes FEAR I see you but I choose to do this anyway, you get to make a choice either allowing FEAR to stop you or using it like a launching pad.

You know all those successful people you look up to, guess what they too have FEAR.  Nothing big they ever do is done without FEAR, they just make a conscious choice to not allow FEAR to stop them, using it as their driving force, their launching pad and you can do that too.

Watch this video for more guidance on Conquering Your Fear


Subscribe to my YouTube Channel here so you are notified each time I share new content
Comment below and let me know your thoughts on incorporating these techniques as part of your tool box.

Nicole Ivens

I offer 1-1 online soul coaching to support you in mind, body and spirit.  You can book your complimentary discovery session here.



Love Thyself

Happy Valentines Day!

Whether this day fills you with excitement or dread, it’s important to remember the message of this special day.



Whilst Valentines Day is now heavily commercialised and aimed at intimate couples, there is no reason to not make this a day of love, kindness and compassion towards yourself.

Now showing love to yourself and being #1 in your life may feel strange at first, it is essential to your emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing.

You may be having thoughts of “yeah right, like I have time for that.”  But what if I told you, you can show yourself love, kindness and compassion right now as you read this article.

Are you IN?

Wonderful let’s get to work.  In every minute of every day you have thoughts slipping past your awareness and I can guarantee they are not all good for you.

So right now I want you to think, say out loud or write down something nice about yourself.  It could be a physical attribute, a personality trait or a strength.


Did you do it?   I am trusting that you did, so imagine spending all of Valentines Day just being kind and compassionate to yourself.  How do you think  you would experience the day?  To go one step further, envision doing this every day, just saying some kind words to yourself.  Your life would start to change in ways that you can’t even imagine right now and all from a few simple kind words.

Be Kind

Our journey here on Earth isn’t one that is supposed to leave us feeling in pain, not good enough or worthy of love.  It is to spread love and joy not just to our fellow human being but most importantly to ourselves first.

Can you imagine if you spoke to your children, the way you speak to yourself, what would their life be like?  How would they feel about themselves?  Exactly, not great right.

So your mission for this Valentines Day and beyond if you choose to accept it, is to just share some kind words and thoughts with yourself.

Do you accept your mission?

Leave a reply below and let me know and if you feel up to it, share with me the kind words you are sharing with yourself today.

Nicole Ivens | EFT Practitioner

To support you in showing kindness and compassion to yourself I also offer 1-1 individual sessions.  You can book your private session here.