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How to Boost Your Immune System

How to Boost Your Immune System

How To Boost Your Immune System

 

This is a topic and question on everyone’s mind right now on a global scale, how can I boost my immunity?  I know for me when this global pandemic started my first thoughts went to how am I going to keep my girls safe, especially my eldest who is immunocompromised.

We went through all the normal steps that were being recommended by medical experts, social distancing, personal hygiene, hand sanitizer and vitamin supplements.

As an energy healer I was very aware that there was more too it, there were other things that had the capacity to be lowering our immunity.

According to the Centre for Disease Control (CDC) there is and emotional component in 85% of all illnesses.

Stress and anxiety can have a huge impact on your physical health, especially chronic levels and during this time there is unprecedented levels of stress in people on a global scale.

To add to that is not only your own stress and anxiety, but what you as an Empath are feeling from not only those in your physical presence but the overwhelming vibration of our planet right now.

You may look at your own circumstances and feel you know what it’s okay, I am doing fine, yet still experiencing a low grade anxiety.  The issue I have noticed with that is, when it is your own stress and anxiety you can use your coping tools but when its coming from something you know nothing about, now that is challenging.

Just the awareness of the vibration that the planet is operating at right now can be a huge help to you, knowing that you may feel a low grade anxiety that is not yours helps you to cope.

Connecting in with your cosmic team and always asking the question “is this mine?” If not ask them to release it from your auric field.  Due to the high levels of anxiety right now, it is important to add this to your tool box and use it regularly.

Lets look at how stress effects your immune system:

“Since emotions run every system in the body, don’t underestimate their power to treat and heal” – Dr Candace Pert

What we think and what we tell ourselves can either support or undermine our health.  Because the immune system is so sensitive to thoughts, emotions, and subtle energies, energy healing can be an extremely useful tool in supporting wellness, fighting illness and speeding healing.


According to Neuroscientist Dr Joe Dispenza – You can read full article here

How to Boost Your Immune System

“As people begin to overcome emotional states that keep them connected to past experiences—as they break out of redundant habits and automatic programs, as well as change certain self-destructive attitudes and beliefs—aspects of their immune system up-regulate genes. This means that their thoughts and feelings are signaling cells within the body’s internal defense system to turn on healthy genes to make better proteins—otherwise known as healthy anti-bodies—as well as a host of other beneficial chemicals to balance and regulate the body. This process in turn reduces inflammation, suppresses tumors, mobilizes enzymes, and so on.

So the next time you sit down to create a better life, a healthier body, or a new experience, just remember that your brain and body have never been separate and the bridge between them is your immune system. You see, your body has always been spying on your brain. So why not use your nervous system—the greatest pharmacist ever—to activate your body’s internal army to create order for you every day? You don’t even need a prescription.”


Understanding the effect of stress on your physical body is the first step but as we all know stress is a constant in all of our lives.  So the important thing is to learn how to navigate it in your life, finding, understanding and implementing coping tools that help to reduce your stress levels.

EFT has been shown through scientific studies to have a great effect both on lowering stress levels but also the physical effects of stress on the body, including the immune system.  The following physical improvements have been recorded:

  • Lowers your blood pressure
  • Boosts your immune system
  • Reduces inflammation
  • Lowers your level of stress hormones
  • Boosts your metabolism
  • Counters aging
  • Improves your resting heart rate
  • Helps your cells fight cancer
  • Counters insulin resistance
  • Improves your neural signaling
  • Counters autoimmune disease
  • Strengthens your cell membranes
  • Reduces oxidative stress

How to Boost Your Immune System

EFT Tapping has been scientifically proven to rewire the brain to bring both the body and mind back into balance!

“The most revealing studies of the physiological aspects of EFT have examined its epigenetic effects. A population of veterans with PTSD received 10 EFT sessions. It found regulation of 6 genes associated with inflammation and immunity. A pilot study comparing an hour-long EFT session with placebo in 4 nonclinical participants found differential expression in 72 genes. These included genes associated with the suppression of cancer tumors, protection against ultraviolet radiation, regulation of type 2 diabetes insulin resistance, immunity from opportunistic infections, antiviral activity, synaptic connectivity between neurons, synthesis of both red and white blood cells, enhancement of male fertility, building white matter in the brain, metabolic regulation, neural plasticity, reinforcement of cell membranes, and the reduction of oxidative stress. The broad function of this suite of genes is similar to that found in Church et al, confirming the association of EFT with the downregulation of inflammation and stress markers and the upregulation of immune markers.”  You can read the full scientific study here

Whilst seeing the scientific studies is needed and fantastic to see, I have found both my own personal experience and those of my clients is the most powerful. Just a short three years ago I was very unwell physically after many years of chronic stress levels due to my daughters seizures.

Through the use of EFT to navigate my stress levels, I was able to not only cope with what I needed to deal with I was able to heal events, memories and words of my past that were having a large impact on my body.

I went from getting sick all the time, a new cold or infection every week to feeling well and not catching any colds or infections.  I was amazed to see the difference in how I was feeling just by healing emotionally.

“Our emotional wellbeing has a massive effect on our physical wellbeing” – Nicole Ivens


To start to learn how to navigate your stress and anxiety levels and learn the wonderful and effective technique of EFT, you can book your session here.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

Energetic Body

Which Body is the Most Important? Energetic | Emotional | Physical

Which Body is the Most Important?

Energetic | Emotional | Physical

 

As an energy healer I spend a lot of time working on and talking about my energetic body, sharing ways to keep it clear from the energy of others.  I also focus a lot on both mine and my clients emotional bodies, healing from past experiences, releasing the emotional charge.

I’ll be honest my physical body hasn’t always been given the attention that she needs and deserves and I learned that lesson as my physical body started to break down after many years of chronic stress.

When my daughter started having seizures and was diagnosed with epilepsy, my stress levels went through the roof along with elevated cortisol levels.

Having high cortisol levels for a long period of time wreaks havoc on your physical body, 6 years on I am slowly recovering from adrenal fatigue.

So as you can see my energetic and emotional bodies had plenty of attention but my physical body did not and it showed.

There are three bodies you need to be aware of and give equal attention to:

  1. Energetic Body
  2. Emotional Body
  3. Physical Body

The energetic body can be seen as your spirit, as your aura, the first line of defence.  Your energetic body is the first one to be hit and as you start to know your energetic body so well, you will know when other energy has invaded it.

The emotional body is very closely linked with your energetic body, yet stands on its own as well.  Its about paying attention to and honouring your emotions, allowing them to flow through, to not get stuck, but to move through you.

As kids you may have been taught not to be emotional, hearing things like:

  • You are too sensitive
  • You are too overly emotional
  • We don’t talk about our feelings
  • Don’t air your dirty laundry
  • Don’t be silly
  • You want something to cry about, I’ll give you something to cry about

You know all those statements that were thrust upon us due to our sensitivity.  So it’s no wonder your may have a habit of suppressing your feelings and emotions.

As you continue to do that your emotional body will start to swell and when something starts to swell, it just gets bigger and bigger until it explodes or the tension is released.

I can promise you from personal experience when your emotional body swells, it will explode at the most inopportune time.  Sound familiar?

The physical body is affected by your energetic and emotional bodies, stuck energies and stuck emotions are going to have a negative affect on your body.  You may start to experience tension, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, adrenal fatigue, thyroid issues just to name a few.

The Body Holds The Score!

The traumas you have experienced will always be remembered by your physical body, your mind may forget but your body will always remember.

So even if you say “oh I’m fine, I’m past that, I don’t even really think about it”.  What does your body say about that?  Is it still holding the pain, the trauma and the hurt?  Is it screaming at you asking you to give it some attention?

Below the surface is information and guidance for you that is going to let you know the truth of what is truly going on.

The work I do with my clients is guiding them gently below the surface to find the truth, to find the core of what is truly happening and why.

“Leave the Surface to Find the Core”

Energetic Body

Overall well-being isn’t just about taking care of one part of you, it is taking care of all of you, of all of your bodies.

Which of these are you paying attention to? All three, just one or two or none of them. Together they are responsible for your overall well-being.


Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

I would love to support you to start to heal what you have been carrying around, be that trauma, hurt, pain, anxiety or stress.  Click here to book your appointment.

When life gives you lemons

When Life Gives You Lemons

When Life Gives You Lemons…

 

 

“When Life Gives You Lemons You Need To Dig Deep”

It is in times like this where you can feel unsupported by the universe and your cosmic team and that they have left you to suffer, when in actual fact they are right by your side, just waiting for you to ask for their help.  As you may or may not be aware your cosmic team needs permission to step in and support you, so ask yourself the question “have I put myself in a position where they can help, assist and support me?”.

A lot of the time we can feel abandoned and unsupported and as the sensitive beings that we are, we can have the mindset of “I can do it myself, I don’t need help” or “I am the helper, I can’t possibly burden another person with my problems”.  So by asking yourself that question, you are opening up your awareness to your part in this situation or any situation where you have felt left behind and unsupported.

Your cosmic team will help you by taking your hand and leading you out of the darkness if you let them, it may look a little something like this:

You may start to notice little signs of light that grab your attention, for example:  When my daughter was diagnosed with Epilepsy five years ago, we spent many days and nights in hospital and what a drab and depressing place that is.  My cosmic team helped shine the light for me by reminding me of the wonderful support of her medical team and the brand new children’s hospital that had been opened not long before her first seizure.

So as you can see they were shining the light by showing me the good within the situation, without that awareness and asking for help, I would of stayed in the darkness of what we were experiencing.

What light is your Cosmic Team bringing into your current situation?


Are ready to Connect to Yourself, Connect to your Soul Tribe and Connect to your Cosmic Team?

I am extending the invitation to join “The Mystical Membership” as a Founding Member, you will get lifelong access at the Founding Member price of just $22 per month.  You will get to be a part of a community of like-minded sensitive women that understand you on a deep core level and experience the world just like you do.

 

Join the Mystical Membership


Nicole Ivens | Gold Coast Counsellor

Energy of the Week ~ Ask Your Angels Episode 13

ASK YOUR ANGELS ~ EPISODE 13

Energy of the week for 28th October – 3rd November 2019

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.

Energy of the Week - Ask your Angels Episode 13

 

Your Guidance Revealed

Energy of the Week - Ask Your Angels Episode 13

Card 1:

Your guidance starts at 1:50 in the video below.

Surrender to Setting Limits – As sensitive souls and empaths boundaries are one of the most important things you can do to protect your energy, and also one of the hardest things you will ever have to do.  As an empath and sensitive soul it is our purpose to help others, so having to set boundaries can be both hard and scary at the same time, thoughts of who will I be without being there for everyone all of the time and what will people think are sure to bubble to the surface.

What I would like you to think about is the times where you feel really energised and what that means for the energy you are putting out into the world and then when you are depleted what energy is being received by the world.  Another way to consider enforcing boundaries is how you view others that have boundaries, what do you think about them?  I am sure it isn’t anything bad, if anything you probably envy their ability to do that.

With all that in mind, how do you feel now about placing some boundaries to protect your beautiful sensitive energy?  Let me know in the comments below, I would love to hear your experience and I can then offer you some support in putting your boundaries in place guilt free.

 

Card 2:

Your guidance starts at 3:34 in the video below

Surrender the Habit of People Pleasing – This is a habit that many sensitive souls aka helpers and nurturers tend to have, we love to be able to help others and in that we can get stuck in the habit of doing exactly what they want to make them happy.  The problem with that is it can cause others to never actually be able to get to know us, because all we are ever doing is what they want and it really leaves no room for your beautiful unique light and gifts to shine.

Now people pleasing isn’t something you just stop doing, it is more of a recovery, “Hi I’m Nicole and I’m a recovering People Pleaser”.  Little by little you can adjust your behaviour, not doing things for people just to please them, not holding back when you know there are either words or actions that would really help this person on a deeper level.  Trust me as you start to do this, what you feel and experience will be so much more and benefit you so much more on a soul level.

You will soon notice the adjustment of others behaviour towards you as well, they will be coming to you because they know you can really help them on such a deep growth level as opposed to “oh she will just do this for me”.

How does starting to reduce your habit of people pleasing, are you ready to join me in recovery as a people pleaser?  Comment below and let me know what your experience is and how you feel about starting to make changes?  I can then support you with ways to help in your recovery.

Card 3:

Your guidance starts at 5:32 in the video below

Surrender Fear – Fear is something we all have at one time or another and about different things, sometimes fear can be a good thing keeping you safe in times of perceived danger.  The issue comes when that perceived fear is just that, not actual danger, but something due to past experiences in your life making your primitive brain feel like you are in danger.  This is when your body will react within 3 secs of the perceived danger putting you into fight, flight or freeze mode, your conscious mind always takes a little longer to click to what is happening and then confusion sets in, to what is actually happening.

It can be very easy to just allow fear to be in the drivers seat, follow its lead and stop whatever you were attempting to do that your primitive brain felt was a danger.  Whilst that’s all fine and good, its really sucks when it starts to really affect your life on a deeper level, stopping you from really living your destined life and your angels feel sad when they see fear holding you back as they can see what is possible for you and your potential, they are asking you to allow them to help you in times of fear, call them in and ask them to help you to feel calmer and to understand the purpose of your fear mind.

Let me know by commenting below how fear is showing up in your life and then I can provide you with extra support on ways to combat your fear and connect in with the power of your angels.

Card 4:

Your guidance starts at 7:16 in the video below

Surrender Stress – Similar to card #3 stress is something else we all deal with and can also be helpful in times of getting you motivated and moving on a task, idea or your life purpose.  It is when you are experiencing chronic stress that its time to release it and find new and more helpful ways to cope with what you are experiencing in your life.  From personal experience I know what chronic stress can do to your body, I was under chronic stress for about 3 years after the diagnosis of my daughter with epilepsy and it had really been taking a toll on my body causing me to have injuries and also adrenal fatigue.

So I can tell you how important it is for you to surrender stress, to find other ways to ensure no matter what is happening you are not allowing the experience or circumstances to leave you in a place of stress 24/7.  Again like card #3 your angels are asking you to call on them, bring them in when you need support to cope with a difficult situation or experience, they love to be able to help you and can bring you such peace.

Let me know by commenting below how you deal with stress in your life and I can provide extra support and teach you new ways you may not of thought of or known about to help you in reducing your stress.

 

You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, comment right here on the blog.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.

Nicole Ivens | EFT Gold Coast

I offer 1-1 Local & Online Holistic Counselling to support you in Mind, Body & Spirit, Book your Complimentary Discovery Session Here.

Ask Your Angels – Energy of the Week – Episode 11

ASK YOUR ANGELS ~ EPISODE 11

Energy of the week for 14th – 20th October 2019

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.

Ask Your Angels Episode 11

 

Your Guidance Revealed

Ask Your Angels Episode 11

Card 1:

 

Daily Practice – It takes practice and that is okay, don’t put huge expectations on yourself, give yourself the time to perfect your new hobby, habit or work task.  Archangel Gabriel is showing me a little baby just learning to walk, as she falls down she gets back up time and time again until she perfects the art of walking, this is the same for you, we tend to overestimate what we can get done in a day, yet underestimate what we can achieve in a year.

Allow yourself the time to get used to the newness of this task, don’t expect to know everything and be perfect at it right now, allow yourself to enjoy the journey of learning, not worrying so much about the outcome and being perfect.   I talk more about this in the video below, starting at 1:55.

 

Card 2:

Birth – This card really follows on from card number 1, all about newness and interesting since we are in the full moon phase, a time of releasing and getting ready for the new.  Now if you are like me and done with the baby rearing years this may freak  you out, but don’t worry it isn’t necessarily about a new baby.  It may be a new idea, or exciting project on the horizon, something that has been building within you for a while.  Your guidance is to know it is birthing within you and what it needs from you right now is patience and space, allowing it to come to fruition in its on time and in its own way.  Funnily enough similar to allowing a baby to grow within you for 9 months.

As hard as it can be do your best to release your expectations of what it should be or should look like and allow the universe to bring it to you in the best way possible for your highest good.  I share more in the video below, starting at 4:30.

Card 3:

Time Management – Well haven’t you been putting yourself on the back-burner, no more, its time to start prioritising yourself, allowing your needs to be served, sitting at the top of your to-do-list.  I know how hard this can be, especially as mums, kids tend to take up a bulk of our time, but I like to look at it as showing my girls what is important, so when they go out into the world, they know that putting themselves first isn’t just okay it is a necessity.

So this week your angels are guiding you to bring yourself back to the top of the list, allowing your needs to be met and knowing it is not just okay but essential to your overall health, in mind, body and spirit.   More guidance on the video below starting at 6:07

Card 4:

Journaling – one of my most favourite things to do and a big part of my healing journey, it is so essential to releasing the heaviness that you are carrying around.  Your angels are guiding you to start journaling, putting pen to paper and just allow the words to flow, there is no right or wrong way, just let what needs to come, come.   It is as simple as just writing what you are thinking, as you do that it takes away its power, as inside your mind thoughts can gain momentum and before you know it, you have come up with this disastrous outcome, that literally has no truth to it.

As the air hits your words, they lose their power and you will start to feel a sense of calm and inner peace and as that happens guidance has space to come through, supporting you in each and every moment.   Listen below to receive more guidance on Journaling, starting at 8:08

 

You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, comment right here on the blog.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.

Nicole Ivens | EFT Gold Coast

I offer 1-1 Local & Online Holistic Counselling to support you in Mind, Body & Spirit, Book your Complimentary Discovery Session Here.

Ask Your Angels | Episode 10 | Nurturing Yourself

 

In this week’s episode of  “Ask Your Angels” the theme is  “Nurturing Yourself”

 

In client sessions this week the theme has surrounded “Nurturing Yourself”, the importance of taking care of yourself instead of waiting for others to do it for you.

So this week, lets ask the question “What needs nurturing within me?”

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels what do I need?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.

Nurturing Yourself

 

Your Guidance Revealed

Nurturing Yourself

Card 1:

Devotion – This guidance is all about having a regular routine, which is what devotion is, spending time on something that means something to you.  Your angels are guiding it is all about connection, connection to yourself, your soul and also to your higher power whatever that looks like for you.  In the video below I talk a little more about that connection to yourself, dropping down into your heart space and connecting to that light within you.   Knowing this space is where you will find all you need to know, the guidance that is specific to you and no one else, a reminder that no one outside of you knows what is right for you, only you do.

Card 2:

Father – This guidance for you is all about balancing your masculine and feminine energies, not so much about your birth father or even God.  Its really important to have a balance between the soft feminine energy and powerful masculine energy, I am being shown that you have shut your heart off to the world, putting up a wall to protect yourself.  With what you have experienced this is completely natural, your angels are guiding it is time, time to soften, time to take down the wall bit by bit.  In the video below I share some ways to soften your heart and the importance.

Card 3:

Inner Child – This card says it all, your inner child needs nurturing, she is calling out for love, to be seen and nurtured.  In the video I talk about this in more detail, but it is important to tend to your inner child, allowing her to feel safe, seen and loved.  As a child we can experience situations that leave a mark, a mark that needs to be healed to ensure she doesn’t take the drivers seat and leading your life from a young age, instead of you taking the reigns.   This week you can nurture your inner child by sending her love and remembering she hears and observes everything, your thoughts and your words.

Card 4:

Joy – Your guidance is to bring more Joy into your daily experience, doing the things that light you up, the things that make you laugh.  As adults we can easily forget to do this, to allow Joy in, your angels are guiding you need to give yourself permission, permission to feel joyful, to do the the things that bring you joy and laughter.  It is also a great opportunity to feel expansion of Joy, as you do this it then gives you the capacity to deal with more difficult times in a more in depth and bigger way.  Check out the video below for more guidance on expanding and allowing joy into your daily experience.

 

You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, either comment right here on the blog or on the video over on YouTube.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.

Nicole Ivens | EFT Gold Coast

I offer 1-1 Local & Online Holistic Counselling to support you in Mind, Body & Spirit, Book your Complimentary Discovery Session Here.

Ask Your Angels | Episode 5 | What is Missing in your Life?

In this week’s episode of “Ask Your Angels” the theme is”What is Missing in your Life?”

 

Sometimes there is something missing in your life but you are unable to access what it is, what is that missing piece?

So in today’s episode we are going to look into that question “What is Missing in my Life?”

Tune in to your Cosmic Team and Ask Your Angels WHAT is missing in my life?
Pick card 1, 2, 3 or 4.

Your Guidance Revealed

 

 

Card 1:

Nurture Yourself ~ A lot of the time we are looking outside of ourselves for nurture, wanting a partner to make us happy or a job to feel fulfilled.  But in spiritual truth none of these things are going to nurture you, true nurture can come from you only and its really important that you are never giving from your inner well.  What I mean by that is if you are giving from your inner well, it will run dry very quickly, you only give to others from your overflow.  This ensures you will never run dry of the energy and light you need to nurture yourself.

Card 2:

Recognition ~ The one thing you are missing right now is recognition and I know you probably think from someone or something outside of you, but no this is recognition for yourself.  Recognition for yourself is so powerful because no one or no thing can take that away from you, start to recognise your value, recognise your achievements and recognise your power.  This then allows you to stand in your power fully, because the opinions and judgements of others will then not matter, they will just run straight off you, like water off a ducks back.

Card 3:

Time Management ~ The one thing missing in your life right now, is TIME, time for yourself, giving yourself the gift of YOU, the gift of your time.  I know you are very good at giving away your time to others, but the missing piece is giving that time to yourself.  Its important to start to set aside time for you, time to do things every day that bring you JOY, that LIGHT you up.  Now it doesn’t need to be anything big, maybe a Coffee free from chaos or a walk outside in Nature.  Schedule it in each and every day and know you are worth your TIME.

Card 4:

Daily Practice ~ The one thing missing for you is a daily devotional practice, like card #3 taking some time out for you and making it a practice.  In the video I talk to you about my daily spiritual devotional practice (check it out below), and your guidance is the more you do this the easier it becomes and will become like second nature to you, it won’t be a burden but instead something that lifts you up, guides you and helps you to feel more grounded and centred throughout your day.

Each card really follows on from each other this week, so I would encourage you to check out the full video, because I feel each card can help you on your Spiritual Path.

 

You can also watch my Video to hear more about each card and the guidance I provided ~ click below

I would love to hear how the guidance resonates for you right now, either comment right here on the blog or on the video over on YouTube.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube Channel here….so you get notified each time I share new content.

Nicole Ivens
Soul Coaching

I offer 1-1 Online Soul Coaching to support you in Mind, Body & Spirit, Book your Complimentary Discovery Session Here.

Emotional Wellbeing – Is it really all that important?

Emotional Wellbeing – Is it really all that important?

In two words I am going to answer that for you – HELL YEAH!

Let me tell you why, each of us has three parts to our wellbeing:

Emotional Wellbeing

Each part needs and deserves equal attention, physical wellbeing receives more attention and is more socially acceptable than emotional and spiritual wellbeing.  Yet doesn’t mean it is any more important or vital to your overall wellbeing.

Stress has become a leading cause of disease in the physical body and your emotional wellbeing is a huge factor in managing your stress levels and in turn the Dis-Ease you are experiencing.

There are many ways that you can deal with your stress levels and emotions that DO NOT support your overall wellbeing, for example:

  • Distraction techniques such as:
    * Emotional Eating
    * Smoking
    * Drinking
    * Drug Use
    * Excessive Shopping

These distraction techniques in avoiding dealing with your emotions then have a negative effect on your physical wellbeing.  So yes your emotional wellbeing is IMPORTANT!

Let’s talk about ways in which you can make your Emotional Wellbeing an important part of your life.

  1. LISTEN to your Feelings and ask these questions:
    * What are you trying to tell me?
    * Where is this feeling coming from?
    * What action should I take?
  2. FEEL your Feelings, just let them come and go without judgement or dissection
  3. RELEASE your Feelings, let go of the experience that is the cause of the feeling.

To support you in this process I work with clients 1-1 both locally and nationally.  Click here to learn more and book your session.

 

Friendships

How To Help Nurture Your Child’s Friendships

How many times have you heard from your child “We are not friends anymore”?

I know for me I have heard that more times than I can count from my two girls and there has been times where I have just said “don’t worry I am sure you will be friends again tomorrow”, majority of the time this works out to be the case but sometimes it can be the start of something bigger.

I am going to start with asking you a question that might be a little difficult, “What happens within you when your child tells you about their friend problems?”  This is a tell tale sign of actually what needs to be dealt with first.  For example if you get a gut wrenching feeling or feel pain in your heart, this is your subconscious reminding you of a similar time when you were younger having trouble with your friends.

I know for me prior to working on my own issues from childhood with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) I would be triggered every time one of my girls had problems with their friends at school.  If they cried, I would cry, if they were anxious, I would be anxious, but clearly that wasn’t any help to them and what they were experiencing.

Working on yourself first can have a profound affect on your child as well, also putting you in a better space to support them through what they are currently experiencing.  Seeing yourself as Switzerland, a place of neutrality is a great place to operate from when it comes to helping your child.  Neutrality gives you great insight and the space to be objective in any situation that presents itself, both in your own personal experience and experiences with your children that present themselves.

As parents it can be our first reaction to jump to conclusions that may be flawed due to the lack of information we are been provided with, obviously we want to believe everything our child is telling us and that their version of events is the complete truth.  A good thing to remember is each person has their version of events and the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

A process that I find works very well is to sit with your child and ask them to share with you exactly what happened, who said what and then help them to think about why their friend may have said different things and how they may have contributed to the situation.  I find helping your child to gain an understanding and awareness around another persons behaviour is a big step forward in them healing from the experience.

Another great way I find to help my girls is using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or Tapping to process what they are feeling and release the experience from their energy field, unprocessed feelings and experiences can go on to cause other problems further on in your child’s life.   Check out Episode 1 of Empowering Kids TV to learn more about how you can use EFT with your child.

Supporting your child from home can make all the difference in the interactions they have with their friends and the confidence they portray in themselves and their social interaction skills.  As a Professional Family Counsellor I work with Families to help them to empower, educate and encourage each child to be their true authentic self, building each child’s confidence and social skills is just a small part of that.

If you are noticing your child is struggling with their social skills or friendship issues, reach out and I can support both you and your child to more fruitful friendships.

Childhood Anxiety

The Signs And Symptoms Of Childhood Anxiety

I had an interesting experience this past week, I was attending an awards ceremony for my youngest daughter, Grace aged 13.  As always the ceremony starts with the Principal Address, he usually talks about the achievements of the kids and how proud he is of all they have achieved for Term 1.

However, this time he started out with what he wanted to achieve and that was 93% attendance record, the school was currently sitting at 87%.  In my mind I was thinking for such a big school that is a pretty good record, it was then that he really grabbed my attention, he used a buzz word “Anxiety” and stated it as the main reason for kids not attending school.

My ears did prick up because I had my business brain on, thinking YES I can help support parents and kids with this.  Well I sure didn’t see or expect what was to come next, his solution to a child’s anxiety left me feeling very dismayed.  He made a suggestion to the kids that all they need to do is become more organised and arrive at school early, so then they are not rushing around and will be the first in class, feeling safe and ready for the day.

What do you think about this approach?  Would this work for your child?

Now there are definitely different levels and types of anxiety and I certainly understand what he was saying in regards to how the kids feel when they are running late and rushed to get to class on time.  But is that really in the child’s complete control, I know for my kids, and I will be honest if they are late it is usually my fault.

This experience really got me thinking and wondered how many people are there that really don’t understand anxiety and what role are they playing in our child’s life and how are they contributing to the wellbeing of each of our children.   Now I know for me I recognise anxiety instantly, 1. I have personal experience 2. I am a trained professional and this led me to today’s blog and wanting to share how you can recognise anxiety in your child.

As I mentioned earlier there are different types of Anxiety, for example some of the common types I see with my clients are: Separation Anxiety, Generalised Anxiety and Situational Anxiety.

  • Separation Anxiety is as the name describes and is more common in younger children, but can also be seen in older children as well just depending on what the child has experienced and is currently coping with.
  • Generalised Anxiety is used to describe anxiety that doesn’t pertain to one certain event, experience or time.  You may have described your child as “An anxious child”.
  • Situational Anxiety is used to describe anxiety that pertains to a certain event or experience, such as tests or exams.  I see this in both younger and older children, for example younger children surrounding doctor or dentist visits and older kids exams at school.

Now that you have a better understanding of the different types of anxiety, let’s look at some of the signs and symptoms to look for in your child.

  • Complaining of stomach pains and no other signs of illness
  • Sweaty palms
  • Withdrawn behaviour, not wanting to participate in activities they would of in the past
  • Talking about all the bad things that may happen (classic anxious behaviour)
  • Crying and hiding behind you (specific to younger children with separation anxiety)
  • Not wanting to go to school and no real reason that you can determine
  • Lashing out at their siblings for reasons that in the past may not have bothered them
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Grades at school lowering compared to previous reports

These are just a few of the signs and symptoms that your child may exhibit when they are feeling anxious.  Can you recognise any that you have seen in your child?

I know how distressing it can be dealing with anxiety in your children, I am a mum to two teenage girls who both suffer from anxiety.  Having the tools and strategies you need as a parent can really help to lower this feeling of dis-empowerment and distress and I find an individual approach is best.

If you are needing support and guidance to help with your anxious child, I offer in-house counselling in person and online.  Book your session here.