Who Are You? – A Journey To Reclaim Your Self-Worth

 

Who are you is something that has been surfacing in private sessions with clients over the last couple of weeks, so I thought it must be an important topic to write about.

So let’s think about that question “who are you?” I am sure you are probably thinking of all the ways you can describe yourself to me, so using myself as an example I would say “I am a mum to two teenage girls, wife, sister, daughter and holistic counsellor”.  But you know what, what does that truly tell you about me, it doesn’t tell you much about my true essence does it?

It just tells you about the labels I have either put on myself or have been put on me by other people, as women that is something that happens to us a lot.  We are given these labels that we then need to live up to, for example I am a mum, so I am constantly doing what I can to live up to that label to be what my kids need, to be a good mum.

Again that is just a label, it doesn’t really tell you anything about my true essence, and the same goes for all the other labels that have been put on me.  Things that have been put on me to help describe who I am to people and that is a societal thing.  We all do it, put labels on ourselves and others so we can put each other in these little files, to know what or who each person is.

Today I was listening to a podcast episode with Dr Wayne Dyer and he said something that really struck a chord with me, and what he said was:

“Your Excitement Is Who You Are” – Dr Wayne Dyer

What he was really talking about was that when we look at ourselves and that comes back to how we describe ourselves, looking at a photo of ourselves or our physical presence, we can say that is who I am.  That person in that photo, yes that is me, or that person I see in the mirror, yes that is me.

But really none of the cells that our physical presence is made up of is older than seven years old, as each of our cells regenerates every seven years.  So he was talking about a photo he was looking at of himself at 21 years old and thought at the time, yes that is me.  He was now in his 50’s when he recorded this talk and was saying no physical cell from that photo was left in his body now at age 50, so he was none of those things anymore.

Dr Wayne Dyer

The person he thought he was at that time no longer exists, so he asked himself the question “who am I truly?”  So when you think about that inner essence, it doesn’t have any of those labels.  That inner essence is something that has been with you always, you can call it all different things, whether it is soul or spirit, it has been there all along and it will continue to be there.

Thinking about when you were a child, you didn’t have the label of being a parent did you? Or being a wife/husband/partner, you didn’t have the label of the job or career you are in.  But that essence that was in you then is still in you now, that is who you are.

It is when we start to look at ourselves, look at who we are and look at our self worth from an external point, from what your body looks like or the job that you do or the things that you have (material possessions).

If you attach yourself to those things that that is who I am, that is when you are going to get yourself in to trouble, because you know what with all of those things they can be taken away in a second.  Your material possessions can be taken away in a second, your job can be taken away in a second, I mean look at us right now during this global pandemic, people have literally lost their jobs in a second.

They are struggling not just financially but in their self-worth in who they are without their job title, if I don’t have a job to go to who am I? If I am not a ……………, then who am I?

Coming back to that statement from Dr Wayne Dyer, “Your Excitement is Who You Are”, when you read that statement, what does it do for you?  Are you getting a feeling within you that says yes that really makes sense, really resonating with you.

When something resonates with you it is like your soul saying “yes that is truth”, as when we come to earth we experience what I like to call a form of amnesia.  As we go through our journey we slowly start to remember, the knowledge and wisdom starts to surface and that is when you will feel those moments of resonation.

So if that is really resonating with you – my excitement is who I truly am – what is that? Think about in your life what gets you truly excited, what gives you that all over body tingles, when you are doing it, or thinking about it, or watching it?  What is that for you?  It is going to be very different for each person.

Dr Wayne Dyer also talked about our purpose, that search to find what it is we are here to achieve in this lifetime, he said that is put into us from the beginning.  Remember that inner essence I was talking about, it holds that music within you to be expressed, the trick is getting out of the way.

I also watched a movie with Dr Wayne Dyer called “The Shift” on YouTube, as you can see below.  In this movie he talked about the nine months from conception to birth, we just let everything go, not trying to control anything.  We don’t try to change anything, so as the baby we aren’t trying to control the colour of our eyes, or the colour of our hair or how we look, we just allow everything to happen, just growing along.

 

Then as we are born we are like okay Creator/God great job but I’ll take it from here, when he said that I was like okay yeah I get that.  We tend to try to control everything and then wonder why things are difficult, if we could just get out of the way.

If we could just allow things to be like we did in that time between conception and birth, imagine how different our life could be, because we would have that strong connection with source like we did when we were growing inside the womb.

You know we are still growing now but we are getting in the way, saying no I have a better way, what would the creator know? But you know what the Creator designed you and look at you, you are amazing, so maybe they know a thing or two.

So it is about really starting to tap into that essence that is within you, what is that essence, how would you describe it?  So if I asked you now, tell me about you, tell me about your essence, what is that essence made up of?

Now I know that may feel like we are still labeling, using labeling to describe your inner essence, but what is important here is the shift from labeling to describing.  I’m not asking you to live up to anything, to a label, but to describe what your inner essence is made up of.

Right now you may not know who that person is and that is okay, that is what our growth is about, that is what our discovery on this journey is about.

So your role is starting to be open to that, saying I am so much more than my body, I am so much more than my job, I am so much more than the physical things I have in my life, the material things I have in my life don’t mean anything.

Like I always say it is about turning inside, everything you need is within you, if you are game enough and have the courage to look. It’s not easy to do that internal work, it is so much easier to focus outside of yourself, to focus on the external.  This is who I am this is my job, this is who I am this is the house that I own, this is who I am this is what my physical body looks like.

Being a mum of course is part of my purpose, but it is not all of me and I have seen this time and time and again and was also reflected in the YouTube movie above.  As women we tend to lose ourselves in that role, we become a mum and then we can lose our true selves within that role.  All our kids know us as their mum, they don’t see past that role, past that label.

I would love you to start to think about that discovery this week, I want to leave you with a journaling question to help you:

I Get Excited When…….

who am I

A pretty simple prompt, write it at the top of the page and just allow it to flow.  Allow that creative side of you to have some air time, because we tend to shut down that side of us because we are in control mode.  If you can come out of control mode, like I said before, get out of the way, you will be amazed at the things that start to happen.

So just step out of the way, there are no rules, just see what flows, allowing it to happen.  You might be surprised at what comes out, it may be something that comes from when you were a child, I know for me when I was first listening to the podcast with Dr Wayne Dyer and he said “Your Excitement Is Who You Are”, the memory I saw was playing teacher as a kid.

Allow that to come and you might think wow that came out of left field, good, pay attention to that, write that down and then see what comes from that.  It isn’t something that has to happen in a certain time frame, just allow yourself to open up to it, and as you open up to it then the universe is going to see that and start to respond.

You will then start to see things coming into your life, signs, opportunities, confirmations and synchronicities.  Be aware and open to that, stepping out of the control mode and just getting yourself out of the way.

Who am I is a big topic and not something that will happen overnight but just being open to learning, to growing and embracing:

I am not my body – I am not my job – I am not what I own

To work with me privately you can book your session here, either online or in-person on the Gold Coast.

Nicole Ivens | Empath Counsellor

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